I want to be called Nonna but….

[Moira1951]

I’ve been told Nonna is unacceptable by my son as they want my first ever grandchild (at 73) to call me granny. I don’t want to be called granny, do I have a choice as to what I’d like to be known as?

Of course it's absolutely your choice as to what you wish your Grandchild to call you. How would your son like it if he made it clear he wanted his child to call him Dad & his wife said no I want you to be called Papa. I doubt he would accept it & neither should you. If he doesn't like Nonna I would look for a compromise & decide on a name you both find acceptable.

You are in danger of becoming one of those MILs…..

My two bits worth. The person who will be called by a name gets to choose if they feel comfortable with that name and to change it if they are not. Nonna should be allowed - otherwise you are treating Moira1951 like a pet hamster.

Not necessarily. My kids came up with names for 3 of their grandparents.

What about abuelita?
Or babushka?!

@Moira1951 how about Momo if your name is Moira?

Nonna is Italian for Nanny/ Nanna.

So why not just be Nanna/ Nanny? Why does it need to be the Italian version when you're not Italian?

I don't think they should tell you what to be called, but I think Nonna is an odd choice and just seems like you're trying to make it sound exotic or something.

My child has mixed heritage and calls her S. Asian grandparents Dadi & Dada, and her British grandparents Dada & Nana. My mum wanted to be Granny, but toddler dd had other plans and it stuck.

It does get a bit confusing with the Dada/Dadi/Dada combo, but somehow we cope.

Just relax and see what happens, your grandchild will likely come up with their own name for you in time, and if you're anything like my mum you won't give a fig what it is as you'll be too busy enjoying them.

Coincidentally, there is a big Italian population in Bedford, so there's probably loads of Nonnas in local village halls.

I’m with you, OP. I don’t like granny. It’s a horrible sounding word - really harsh. I bloody love mamgu! It sounds like some sort of animal superhero and I’m going to pick that, even though I’m not Welsh. You should be called what you want to be called since you’re the one who has to answer to it.

Did you not read my post?

Thank you. My son and I were always very loving and very close. It’s taken me ages to realise I’ve been sidelined a lot over the years. If someone says they can’t make it, or they’re busy, I don’t question, I accept, however I’m slowly realising my son has changed toward me, and everything is on their terms. Fortunately I am ok with my own company, and that of friends, and fairly fit, able and capable. Just as well tho. I won’t rock the boat, but they are intending to move miles away as soon as the baby is born. Such a shame as I’m very creative and had envisaged playing and making things with this precious boy, but distance will be a problem. I’ll make the best of it, it’s their life. Thanks tho

I think your son/daughter in law are the ones being overbearing. It's going to be your grandparent-name so why should they be the ones to choose it? As long as there's a differentiation between sets of grandparents, it will work.

People name their children whatever they want, regardless of affiliation, heritage, country connection so what's the difference? Controlling for the sake of it.

Regardless, the baby will find their own name for you and I'm sure you'll love it, whatever it is. Good luck to the parents trying to control that.

I just think it's an odd choice - nanna is fine, fairly common (we're a nanna family) nonna is a bit try hard unless you are Italian heritage.

Well yes that’s why I responded!

You said “ultimately it will be up to your son and his wife.. as they’ll do the referring to”.

I said my kids chose their gps names.

I was going to be granny but dgc had other ideas and calls me YiaYia (pronounced Ya Ya).Probably because I always say Hiya since he was tiny in a sing song voice. Coincidentally it is greek for granny.
@Moira1951 so use a specific word of greeting and it may work for you too.

I think it’s up to you what you’re called tbh - but Nonna is odd if not Italian!

No that's embarrassing. YABU.

I think Mamgu is lovely

I asked my parents to chose and they wanted Nanna & Grandad and other grandparents had names appropriate to their culture which then the kids adapted as grandma was the same as daddy (and dad was dadda) so they became big Daddy and big Dadda!

Yaya (pronunciation) is Spanish for ‘Granny’

My mum said she wants to be called MoMo (or something that sounds equally made up), because she doesn't feel like a grandma even though she is nearly 70.

I think it's daft tbh and will strongly try to persuade her to choose between nanny/nana/grandma/ granny.

And comes across as wanting to use bits of other cultures that you don’t have any attachment to as a novelty or cute accessory. Op cited multiculturalism above, but multiculturalism still means a connection to culture.

I don’t like the concept of cultural appropriation, with its implications of ownership and permission, but I do think this is rather silly.

@willWillSmithsmith

Amma means mother in some Indian languages, Sri Lankan friends call their mother/mil amma.

My kids call their dad papa in fact, they switched from daddy around 7 years old when I sent them to French lessons and it stuck. They are adults!

I guess you didn’t read on then. Obviously a baby isn’t going to choose a name, they are, after all, not quite capable of that as a newborn.
As I said in my post, even tho a name may be chosen, a child may then choose to change or adapt that name slightly. Didn’t think it was too hard to extrapolate that to the child picking another name, should they so choose…
Not that any of this is relevant given that the grandchild in question is still yet to be born.. which brings us full circle to it being up to the parents in the first instance.

Actually it is up to the OP to decide how she is called -end of.