I want to be called Nonna but….

[Moira1951]

I’ve been told Nonna is unacceptable by my son as they want my first ever grandchild (at 73) to call me granny. I don’t want to be called granny, do I have a choice as to what I’d like to be known as?

Feeling a bit sorry for the DIL at this point

You should move, Bedford sounds awful. And get help for social anxiety!

OP, you keep referring to multicultural Britain, but you're not a part of the Italian culture within that? To be honest your comment saying that now 'Nonna' is as British as pasta is actually quite disrespectful towards Italian culture, because just because Nonna is used in Britain, does not mean it's now British.

My parents chose my name 70 years ago, I suppose I could change it but it would seem odd.

Only mumsnetters care !

im nana and the other grandmother was supposed to be grandma but it marmar

the child will choose how to say your name

but if its up to the parents what the child calls you its then up to you what you call the child - it does work both ways and pet names are then the givers choice

It’s just rude to refer to someone as a name they don’t like.

In a nutshell.

Can totally see why Brexit happened reading this thread.
So many little Englanders terrified of how they seem to others.

What's wrong with that? Loads of people use foreign names.
I've seen lots of Niamh's for example who aren't Irish. I say let Nonna choose what she wants.

Quite. Village halls in Bedford sound highly amusing.

I don’t really know. We asked my parents what they wanted to be called and they came up with Nanny and Grampy. Which is fine, I don’t know what we’d have done if they came up with something we didn’t like.

I know! But in the context of your post you were using them as names and they are, and have been for some time, used as names in Britain. Hence my point they are now anglicised names. No one I know in Britain who is not Italian uses Nonna for gran, so in my view that is not anglicised in the same way.

i don't think I'd really care what I was called if I was ever lucky enough to become a grandmother. That's the thing isnt it? The main thing is you're lucky to have a grandchild. I'd prefer Granny Faff, and wouldn't much like Nanny (can't articulate why - just don't like it). But it's not a hill I'd die on when the main thing is I'd be thrilled to be a grandparent!

I think it's a bit weird when grandparents try to pick cool or different names to avoid their own feelings of "being too young for this". What a privilege it is to be a grandparent at whatever age, how lucky to be able to watch this new generation of your family begin. It isn't about you. The toddler will likely give you whatever name they choose themselves anyway so this isn't worth wasting your time and energy on when baby hasn't even arrived yet. You're going to be a granny and that in itself is enough, the cool nicknames just aren't that important. Congratulations on your new grandbaby, all this will pale in significance once they're in your arms.

Oh dear! You are making assumptions! It couldn’t be that I’m being told what to do a lot recently by my son whom I hardly see but I have always respected, he has his pressures! The fact that I have come on here suggests, I would have thought, that I’m open to opinions, not dogmatic, and I wanted to see what others thought. It seems 50/50 at the moment, but I will relent and be know hopefully as Na Nah as a compromise. I never rock the boat, it’s not worth it, so don’t judge me!

I am Nonna in some of my family.My children were born in Italy so that’s why,but we are not Italian.
I am now a great grandmother,but still Nonna in that family.One of my grandsons in another family calls me Grandma,I really don’t care what I am called.
Why does it matter whether you are Italian or not? Go ahead and ask to be called Nonna.I wouldn’t worry what the locals in Bedfordshire are going to think.What a hilarious post that was.😅🤣😂

"Nonna is becoming as British in our multicultural society as Pasta!"

No, it isn't.

I'm half Welsh, with Italian heritage. I wouldn't judge as such, but if I met someone who called themselves Nonna (or Mamgu in the case of South Welsh) I'd likely chat about their heritage, thinking it as something we may have in common. If there was no link at all, I'd think it was weird. That's probably why most people stick to what's the norm for them culturally and traditionally. Of course, as shown here, kids often end up with their own cute nicknames which is lovely as it's so organic and personal.

This. I'm afraid it's the OP who is coming across as controlling.

Maybe she 'identifies' as Italian tho.

That's outrageous! You get to decide what you're called. I asked my dd grandparents what they'd like. How dare they! 😤

Also, I called my grandmother Nonna, pronounced Non- nah.

I don't know anyone else like that!

You get to decide, no one else has the right to do that for you.

Good luck getting the finer points of pronunciation instilled in a baby…

I would like to be called Ah Ma, I am Chinese though British born, however DS is half white as DH is and his GF who he intends to marry is also white so not quite sure how they will feel about it.

Whatever The name, how lovely to have a grandchild.

The tone is a bit woe is me but I'd love to hear more about some of these things the OP has been 'pulled up' on.

Speaking of multicultural - I’m a mix of Indian, French, English and Russian and my mother chose Nonna rather than any of her cultural names for grandmother as she didn’t like them. She had a house in Italy, speaks fluent Italian. I reckon she was probably Italian in a past life but the fact is she ain’t Italian in this one!

My children just call my parents what I called my grandparents which was grandma and grandad, that one felt the most natural to us. This is the same for all grandparents as that’s also what my husband called his growing up, I don’t remember it being confusing usually my daughter just adds a word at the start if she wants to distinguish which one we mean.

We had Italian Nonni and British Grandma and Grandad, we stuck with culturally relevant names.
I don’t like the pronunciation of Nonna. It reminds me of breastfed babies mumbling their first words. Mine both used to say “nyonyo” and “nyonya” when they were tiny.
If I’m ever a grandmother it’ll be Grandma Firstname. My lovely DMIL will be the only Nonna in our family, last of her name! We also had a Nonnina (GGM).