I want to be called Nonna but….

[Moira1951]

I’ve been told Nonna is unacceptable by my son as they want my first ever grandchild (at 73) to call me granny. I don’t want to be called granny, do I have a choice as to what I’d like to be known as?

Also most of the time when a grandparent's name is mentioned the grandparent won't be there and the parents will be talking about them to the child and if they don't like a pet name they won't use it and will just talk about granny x or nanna Y or "your grandmother ". Also what sounds cute when a toddler pronounces it may sound cringy when they are teenagers and they'll end up not calling you anything if they find your chosen pet name juvenile.

Comments like this 🙄

My mother wanted to be called Grand-Mère despite not having one discernible drop of French blood in recent centuries (like the last 1000 years) Nan/Nanny "common" (despite being fine for everyone else in the family/community, not southern) "Granny" made her feel old (she was) etc, etc.

Didn't stick, unsurprisingly and she was eventually Gran. The last person to be known as that was her own formidable grandmother who was automatically associated with the word by all and she felt uncomfortable...tough, daft hill to die on.

I'm truly loving Nanma though, it's great!

My nanny refused to be called Granny or Grandma when I was born as she said it sounded old. She was only 38 when I was born though.

Your further comments seem to be loaded with resentment.

What else have you been pulled up on?

I think I may be going against the grain here, but surely people are allowed to choose their own names? In most cases I’d agree that what the parents say goes, but I fail to see why that extends to what the grandparents are referred to as. We discussed it with my mother as most of the traditional grandparent names were permanently associated in our minds with the people in the generation above her. Anyway, as others have said, toddlers will come up with their own versions of the names. If you like them, I’d encourage their use.

We have the exact thing in our family. DM told us what she wanted to be called when the first grandchild was born. The rest of the family just went with it and all the grandchildren now say Nonna. All a bit odd at the time, but 18 years later we’re used to it! No Italian connection I’m aware of in our family, it’s just the name she chose.
Cultural appropriation is a bit of a reach though!

I wanted to be called Granny. Didn't happen. First grandson chose a name for me which has stuck. Goggy is my name.

I just don’t like granny, end of!

Have you said that to them and then offered more suggestions? If Nonna not acceptable to them and you don't like Granny: Nan- Nana - Gran - GrandMa - Grandmother, Gran-Gran, Gan-Gan.

Those aren't the only two options out there - seems odd to want to get off on the wrong foot by sticking to a suggestion that for whatever reason they dislike.

We asked grandparents what they wanted to be called, had step parents also in the mix. Went with everything they asked for, on the proviso it might change depending on what DS could say. However, if one of them had asked for Nonna without any cultural connection I would have thought that was odd

And what would be wrong with that? I used to know a woman called Amanda Jane Harris, and she HATED her first name Amanda, so she went by Jane. Everyone knew her as Jane Harris. She was a solicitor and felt the name Jane Harris was more professional that Mandy Harris!

And the word 'granny' isn't timeless. It's awful - dull and frumpy.

I think it's unusual not to choose but then I also think-Nanny, Nan, Nonna, Granny, Grandma-they all mean the same thing.

I think if I'm ever lucky enough to have GC (unlikely), I won't give a stuff what I'm called!

You are allowed to say you’d prefer not to be called Granny! Nana is closer to Nonna so maybe that would be an acceptable compromise?

Thanks I loved it! Really giggled. I guess I’ll fall in line with Granny or maybe Nanna, I’ll cringe but it’ll be worth it. I just hope my first grandchild makes up his own name for me 🤣 x

Have you criticised their child's name in any way? It's normal for the GPs to express their preference even if that changes when the dgc start talking.

You could always announce how you are going to refer to the dgc to start negotiations😉

I was going to be grandma but as soon as my granddaughter started putting sounds together it became Mamar, it was her choice 🙂 and I'm still Mamar today, years later. Just enjoy being a grandparent, don't waste engery stressing about a name.

That was her actual name though. In the case of the teenage Emily, everyone knows "Storm" is not her middle name, it is just made up. Like wanting to be called Nonna or Babushka when you are English. Harmless but embarrassing.

No you don't get a choice if you want a relationship with your grandchild. It like every other decision about how this child is raised is up to the parents not you

Absolute nonsense. A grandmother gets to decide what she's called, not the parents!

For me, "granny" conjures up an image of a white haired lady sitting knitting in a rocking chair.

Nonna could be a fit and young looking 50 something.

You're not Italian so it's plain weird. Personally granny sounds horrible to me, we all say nan or nanny in our family. Everyone's different but you're 73, well old enough to be a grandma and I really don't understand trying to take a nickname from a language you have no connection with 😅

So glad my lovely daughter and her partner let me choose whatever I liked. I'm sure once my little grandson is talking he will name me his own version anyway.

I remember reading on mumsnet when I was pregnant that the grandparents must chose the name they’ll be known by. The vipers 10 years ago were vehement about it! 🤷🏻‍♀️ therefore my kids have 2 grandmas and 2 grandads 🙃

😂 in which case, Nonna is a bit mental.

My mum chose gran gran, we agreed, called her gran gran, and yet my son calls her everything but, so to me this is a non-issue because kids will pick their own names for you

Choice of what name people call you is definitely up to you, not the parents, child or anyone else.

You might have to compromise and ask grandchild to call you nonna and let rude parents refer to you as granny, but your name is most definitely your choice.

The kid will get used to it.

That's what I mean... 'Granny' is frumpy! No WAY am I answering to granny - ever! 😆

Also, I am a fit and good looking 50-something! 😂

OK then, a not bad looking and podgy 50-something!