I want to be called Nonna but….

[Moira1951]

I’ve been told Nonna is unacceptable by my son as they want my first ever grandchild (at 73) to call me granny. I don’t want to be called granny, do I have a choice as to what I’d like to be known as?

We have a tendency to say Daddy’s mummy or Mummy’s mummy because the kids call both grandmothers Nana.

It doesn't really come across that you 'go with the flow'.

My kids Grandma would sound very odd calling herself Nonna as it is the Italian version on Grandma.

My kids also have a Nonna (as we are Italian).

We also have a Yaya - as Cypriot.

But, it would be odd if you want to be called another version/ language of your name.

Why do you want to make this a thing?

Do you have to be granny though? Could you be Grandma First Name/Surname instead? I had two grandmas, each known by Grandma followed by their surname. Surely there’s room for compromise between Granny and Nonna?

Nonna sounds a bit weird and like a mispronunciation of nanna. If it's normal in your culture to be called nonna that's different but wanting a different cutesy pet name to be "special" and make your grandchild sound like they have a speech problem is a bit self centred.

Is ‘cultural appropriation’ a buzz phrase? It sounds like so many people have learned new words as it’s used soooo groaningly often! Nope I just liked the name. I’m 73 and proud of it, in fact when I’m halfway through the year I usually state my next birthday as my age, so it’s not a vanity thing. I just don’t like granny, end of!

100% this. ^

Some people just like to make a fuss about nothing, and make a mountain out of a molehill.

I think it's a real shame for you OP and they are the ones being precious. Not you.

I would never dream of dictating to my parents what they would be called. They also chose not to be called the usual granny and grandad. We asked all the grandparents what they wanted to be called and they chose themselves.

One day they might find themselves in the same position and understand how hurtful it is.

Grandparents chose in our case, must admit I don’t like what MIL and FIL chose (don’t know why it grates, but can’t say anything as it’s what DH called his!). But at the same time the most important thing to me was the relationship with the kids not a name, their being involved but also respecting good behaviour with our kids (whole other story but we have got there!). If your DS/DIL do care, and it’s not offensive, I don’t think you’ll care when you see lovely little DGC running up to you calling that name!

Same here! Granny sounds awful IMO. Has to be nana for me. And as I said, I will not be answering to granny. Sod that! 😆

My parents wanted to be called Nanna and Pops, but as my mum quite rightly pointed out, they'd be whatever my son could say. So instead they're Nanny and Nandad 🤣

I don’t agree with your post. It wouldn’t have occurred to me not to ask my mum what she wanted to be called when she became a gm. I wouldn’t have dreamt of forcing a name on her she didn’t want. Granny was a definite no.

WIN!!

What a skewed view of relationships you have.

Nandad 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Nanny and nandad. That made my soul laugh! 😆How adorable!

I got to choose. My daughter and son-in-law are very close and I don't think they ever considered me not choosing. I was 48, not that that should make any difference, but I did not want to be called Granny (it is a traditional grandmother name in this locality, and the majority of grandmother's are "Granny"). My son-in-law's late Mum would have 100% been Granny, so that was already taken and we refer to her as "Granny first-name". I love being Nana - the entire family call me Nana at times!

To me, it sounds a bit controlling to dictate what is such a personal thing. My Mum is Grandma (now Great Grandma and my late Dad was Grandpa, and my in-laws Gran and Grandad/Great Grandad - all chosen by them). I assumed grandparents choose - I've never heard of being "told" what you will be called.

As others have said, the child will decide and something will stick and you'll all just go with it. Saying that, I completely emphasise with the hurt you feel. I'd be the same.

It’s weird you want to demand what you’re to be called. The baby will probably call you something totally different anyway.

I asked my parents what they wanted to be called. My mum chose Nana (I thought she'd want Grandma!) and my dad ummed and ahhed because, despite being 70, he just doesn't "feel" like a Grandad. So I went through a list of alternative grandparent names with him and we picked Boppa together, which is what my daughter uses and he feels it suits him too! It seems very harsh for your son to insist on a name, surely you have to like it too?!

My thoughts exactly! I won’t make a fuss, I just didn’t appreciate being told what I’d be, or how I should be, again.

Seems like there’s more going on here than this.

Sounds like there's more going on. As per a PP clearly some people have a desire to "win" at non existent battles when they have children. It's a shame for you OP. Grandchildren will love you all the same. Rise above it.

I’m not the type to make a fuss

I can tell .

Honestly, they are doing you a favour. Granny is timeless and choosing Nonna when you have no Italian connection is slightly embarrassing, like a teenage Emily claiming her middle name is Storm and "everybody calls me that".

Yes it’s up to you.
It’s going to be your new name
My parents and my dh parents decided what they would be called after we asked them.

Good luck to your DIL finding a birthday and Christmas card with Nonna, it's hard enough finding a granny one!
I'd love to be a fly on the wall when you Lola and Gigi meet for coffee!
I mean seriously ..... this post has provided me with great humour this morning, but I'm off now with DD to see her (regular and boringly named) Granny!

I’m a Nonna, a very happy one too! My wonderful DDIL is Italian.

I think ideally you should be allowed to choose your name as you're the one it affects the most and you'll hear it a lot, it has to sit comfortably for you. But this is the parents choice. I let all four grandparents choose their own names when my baby was born which I thought was the polite and respectful thing to do. They went with a non-traditional set of names which I don't mind at all. My toddler didn't respect all the choices though, she permanently renamed my mother and my mother liked the new name so asked us to stick with it. Only issue is that I have to tell nursery "X is their grandma" as child talks about GPs at nursery and no one knows who she's on about.