Date commenting on how bad candles are, aibu?

[KeiraKnightley2]

Been seeing a guy for a few months, no particular red flags.

Tonight we were sending photos of things in our homes and mine included a candle holder I upcycled with an unlit candle. He made a comment on how bad burning candles are for your health and the environment, 'like someone smoking next to you'. I read the message while enjoying the last of my 'Christmas Day' candle 😄

Isn't this a bizarre comment to make? I read it and thought, oh here we go...

I mean, he’s wrong…burning a candle is in no way the same as inhaling cigarette smoke 😂 I would just laugh it off tbh

They aren’t good, but it’s a bit over the top for him to comment.

I didn't even know they aren't good though it might seem obvious.

Burning my candles is one of lifes little pleasures.

What do you mean 'here we go'

Presumably you meet people all the time with a different view to you?

@soupfiend of course but not about burning candles. Seems ott to say the least

Makes me wonder about ocd or something

burning candles isn’t good for you per se. Hence you should always seek out high quality candles. But we don’t burn them because they’re not great.

There’s ‘having a different view’ (when asked?) and there’s being ridiculous,commenting someone’s candle is like inhaling cigarette smoke🤣

He’s either over opinionated or hard work op. Keep an eye on him!

OCD? Really

Its a fairly standard view.

They're probably not that great for you, having said that, we have them on every night, love candles, the more the better.

You take the ups and downs of everything in life, so Im prepared to have something that might not be that great for me becuase l like the benefits

But lots of people dont like them.

He definitely has opinions @StarDolphins - in 3 months that's the first one that's made me say 'eh??'

I suppose it felt a bit like negging. I think that's why I'm bothered.

I grew up with a mother who saw (still does) danger in EVERYTHING - even the most innocent of things would set her off. So for me, it would be a huge red flag as I just don't need any more of that in my life. But it could just be this one thing, we all have something we're a bit weird about.

I'd maybe wait and see if it's a pattern or if it's just this one quirk?

Imagine what he’ll be like after the honeymoon period🤣🚩

Ah, just saw your negging comment. I feel like this would be a bizarre way to neg someone, but I guess you can look out for any further behaviors like this...

If this is a red flag, or even an amber flag, you'll never be happy. Give people some room to not be perfect.

This isn't negging.

But if you have a bad feeling about him, end it.

I don't ever burn scented candles anymore, even luxury ones. I used to love them but now i have a dd i dont want her breathing it

What? Do you know much about OCD?

It might just be that he read an article recently, I read something very similar recently too which stuck in my mind. This is akin to what I read…

Burning candles made of paraffin releases soot. It’s been supposed that the combustion products from these candles are similar to those released from a diesel engine.
It’s a good idea to minimize the amount of smoke you breathe in by lighting your candles in a well-ventilated room and keeping them away from drafts that can increase the amount of smoke they release.

Burning scented candles can release volatile organic compounds like formaldehyde that may increase your cancer risk.
Even though scented candles release these compounds, it isn’t clear if they impact your health.
It’s also possible to have an allergic reaction to scented candles.

I mean, I sent him a photo of the candle in a candle holder and he says it's fine as long as you don't light them because it's harmful.

Evidently I do light them so I'm being 'harmful'. I'm being a bit tongue in cheek here, but still.

Yes, I agree.
He’s picked out and commented on something in your house in a negative way. If he’d said something like ‘oh, I don’t really use candles but you have done a nice job with that holder’ it would be more balanced in the type of exchange you were having.
But he has taken your friendly exchange of house decor as an excuse to offer you unsolicited (and overblown) health advice.

Maybe he thought he was being helpful, who knows. I have to have natural candles or I get headaches so I don't like most candles and I'm fussy about them. It's not OCD! At the same time I wouldn't comment on someone else's.

Cinnamon scented ones even have a warning on

Really @duckpancakes that's my favourite kind

Anyway I bought candles on our first date at a market and he said nothing. Musnt have been a red flag for him 😂

I love candles but he's right. If you wouldn't let someone smoke in your house, burning candles isn't a great idea either.

Given that you sent him a pic of an unlit candle his response doesn't seem odd.

@Josette77 no I wouldn't.

I'd be interested to see the actual comparison in terms of harm.

Check the label