Date commenting on how bad candles are, aibu?

[KeiraKnightley2]

Been seeing a guy for a few months, no particular red flags.

Tonight we were sending photos of things in our homes and mine included a candle holder I upcycled with an unlit candle. He made a comment on how bad burning candles are for your health and the environment, 'like someone smoking next to you'. I read the message while enjoying the last of my 'Christmas Day' candle 😄

Isn't this a bizarre comment to make? I read it and thought, oh here we go...

Wow. I did not know burning candles could be a health risk! I burn candles all weekend long. Love them. Op wait and see. Dating is learning about someone and seeing if you are compatible together. 18 months to see the real them. I find it an odd comment but I Would give the relationship more time if you enjoy his company. I did once ask a man to not wear fragrance and I could tell it landed badly based on his response. I don’t like strong scents on men or women but he liked his fragrance more than me

I can't use most of them due to the fake perfume stuff. I did use Floris which are good ones, but have given those up now as I read somewhere that fragranced candles can be harmful to pets.

I think that those such as Yankee are made with similar stuff to those toxic air freshing sticks and Zoflora which can really affect some people. I can't be near them at all. I also have to avoid candle displays in garden centres (Usually Yankee).

I suppose that most things that burn would create some kind of toxin. I do like to see ordinary candles but only use them in a power cut these days.

Commenting on them, maybe he was just sharing his thoughts as you would in an actual conversation. Time will tell, if you want to give it a chance.

I don't have a ton of time to Google right now but this article has links in it, and suggestions on healthier candles!

It says one hours of a candle burning can be equivalent of smoking one cigarette. The study was done by a pediatrician who specializes in environmental toxicology.

Ignore the treehugger title though if you want and go to the other links. 😉 I like that this had candle suggestions though.

www.treehugger.com/truth-about-candles-4863151

It would bother me. I don't think I could date someone so obviously drawn in by ridiculous conspiracy shit.

DH is an air pollution specialist but we've been married for 20 years so I know a bit.
Burning candles is bad for your health, DH once actually monitored a small religious room and the reading was off the scale.
But like everything it's about how much, how often.
So if you are trying to live a healthy lifestyle cut out smoking, vaping, open fires, welding without a mask, frying bacon without ventilation, hiking next to major roads and burning lots of incense.
If you are doing all that plus eating five a day and exercising then cutting out candles is the next easy win.

If he's otherwise rather lovely, let it go. DH never misses a chance to get sniffy about my Capri candle from Anthropologie but his love of sprouts is equally problematic.

I have no idea about whether candles are bad for you or the environment but I think it’s pretty rude to send that comment in response to a picture of a candle holder.
Not negging, just poor social skills or over inflated value of his own opinions.

Is it the smoke from the wick, the melting wax or the scent from the scented candles which is bad for health?

I have a few candles, rarely light them though. Last time was in a power failure....lol. But they are quite nice to have for ambience. But I prefer essential oil candles because I am sensitive to artificial scents.

Soya or beeswax candles are the best but even they should be used in moderation.

I use them very occasionally but more in winter/autumn. If the marketers tell me I need a cinnamon scent this Christmas, I unfortunately am totally taken in.

Honestly they relax me. Not just the scent but the flickering flame. I got my mum some LED candles for xmas and they were very realistic. Full flicker with different speeds!

Wow @AuntAir....sounds legit!!

I knew someone would be along to serve the facts. Damnit. 😄

I mean, I feel like not everything about his lifestyle is healthy either. It's all about balance!

Throw him back.

If this is the biggest difference of opinion you have then that sounds pretty good to me!

@SoIRejoined um yeah pretty much 🙂

He was saying the other day he's long since learned to co-exist with people with different opinions because it's part of life. I think maybe he's used to having opinions and people disagreeing.

I never understand why people want to pollute their homes with scented things, it used to be plug ins now it’s expensive candles. I stopped going to a yoga class because there was insense burning in the room and I felt like I couldn’t breathe properly. The opposite of what yoga is all about.

Jesus Christ! Throw him back. Pompous git.

UPDATE: he messaged me again to say they aren't the worst thing all things considered after I didn't reply 😂

Yep, first world problems. I guess one thing I've learned from this is to look at candle labels and try to choose less harmful types. And to continue my occasional candle use gladly....

I'd let him have that one @KeiraKnightley2 but if he starts going on about the government manipulating us with airplane con trails, that's your red line.
Best wishes, I'd say the spousal divorce record in air pollution specialists is below average so good luck!

What conspiracy? There is copious scientific research which evidences the risks.

Well it's certainly not ocd 😬

It's science...

I’m allergic to candles, it took ages for me to figure it out. I was then surprised when I mentioned it to my brother who said they made him feel ill as well.

I can actually answer that. My old flatmate had an air purifier that gave readings, anything below 100 was fine ("green zone"). It read 15 in the room most of the time.

When I lit a scented candle in front of it, the reading would go to 45 then go down to the 20s after a bit. He said if he blow smoke (weed, but cigarettes are probably similar) really hard at it he could get it up to almost 400. So candles aren't nothing but definitely not as bad as smoking.

Btw foot deodorizer spray is really bad, almost 80! Hairspray is actually fine, it barely got to 20. Old school Elnett too.

I like to think I'm unqualified enough to peer review @CheeseSandwichRiskAssessment old flatmates unspecified pollution monitor test results - sounds about right is my conclusion. Suggest lynx body spray and peeling an orange for further shock results.

They are terrible and he’s right. However, he’s too direct to speak the truth.

Tell him yours is flavoured with vanilla not eau de fag...

Is he generally environmentally friendly? If not, then what's his beef? Does he fly, for example? Eat meat? Both worse than burning a candle...