Have I been unreasonable to teach my DC the correct terminology for their body parts?

[Coffeeandteaplease]

I have NCed. This post briefly mentions a history of trauma

I have a DS who is 3 (very nearly 4) and a DD who is nearly 1.

Today while bathing my DD my DS was with us and asked me if she just had a bum. He said he has a penis/willy and looked at her and said she has a bum?' were his words. He was just curious and noticing that his sister looks different to him - I don't see a problem with that. My DH in the other room shouted through and told me I should tell him my DD has a 'flower'?! I said 'what!! I am not telling DS that! It's not true!' Anyway, I told him she has a vagina as she is a girl. DS said 'okay' and that was that. My DH however said I was wrong to tell him that as he's 'so young'.

AIBU here? I'm not sure I am.

For a bit of background, I was raped as a teenager and I suppose because of that I want my DC to understand their body parts and their correct names. God forbid anything were to happen, imagine my DD saying flower instead of vagina, someone might not even understand what she meant! I know DS is young, but he's nearly 4 and he asked a valid question. My DH seems to think I'm being over cautious because of my trauma and now I'm having a little bit of doubt in my mind. He has said 'what if DS says it in nursery' and now I'm worried/doubting myself.

Please be kind. I'm feeling quite anxious about this because of my past.

"Flower"? Oh my word. Now I've heard it all.

I was responding to a post where I thought the poster had said she'd heard of a court case where the case was thrown out because she said "Grandpa touched my cookie". However on re-reading I can now see that poster said the child could have been helped sooner if she'd used the correct terminology.

I have however seen that poster was responding to a post that said that a defendant was found not guilty because they child referred to their "flower" and the defense argued that they meant a literal flower. I stand by my assertion that this would not be the whole story.

I do absolutely agree that teaching children the correct names for their body parts, including genitalia, is wise and may prove important if safeguarding concerns arise. It's far simpler and more clear cut, and as the poster above said, it may lead to them being helped sooner if it's immediately obvious that harm is being caused. It just won't be the one thing that the whole case hinges on if it gets as far as court.

No my little one has just turned 2 and we've started using vulva

Mama wipe your bottom, can you turn around and mama wipe your vulva (didn't want to call it a front bottom!)

It's odd for me to say as I never spoke or speak about my own body parts