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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I hate my en-suite

110 replies

youarethroughtothenextround · 22/01/2024 07:53

I'm sure this has been discussed before but ...

In our former house we had a bathroom off the hallway.

We've just moved and now have an en-suite.

I'm hating it.

My husband gets up in the night to use the loo and turns the bathroom light on. I can hear everything too!

Then in the morning, he wakes me again as the light goes back on and I can hear him use the loo, shower, clean his teeth etc.

Why do most people seem to love en-suites as I certainly don't! A bathroom off the hall, outside our bedroom, is much better!!!!!

OP posts:
Zonder · 22/01/2024 07:55

Ask him to use the family bathroom in the middle of the night.

I'm a fan of en suites. When our children were small it was great to be able to pop to the loo first thing without them realising we were awake. It's also great to have two showers upstairs - one for us and one for the teens. And when either of us has been ill it's been so useful to have the toilet close. In COVID it gave us an easy place to isolate.

But nobody is forcing your DH to use it in the night. And he could also close the door! I can't hear what's going on in ours when the door is shut.

DisforDarkChocolate · 22/01/2024 07:56

I'm with you, for all the same reasons. I'm my current (horrible) house my room is next to our bathroom and nextdoor's bathroom and I hate hearing so many people pee!

regenerate · 22/01/2024 07:59

this is odd

there will be another bathroom presumably

ask you husband to use the other bathroom

Stormcloudscoming · 22/01/2024 08:00

Have you told him?

TinyYellow · 22/01/2024 08:02

We have an en suite and it’s fab but we still use the family bathroom in the middle of the night or when someone is having a lie in.

Original poster
youarethroughtothenextround · 22/01/2024 08:02

Sorry. I wasn't clear.

He does shut the door but I can still hear.

It's a four storey townhouse so we only have an en-suite on our floor, so there is no family bathroom unless he goes up or downstairs.

He would prefer to use our own bathroom rather than the family bathroom!

It's a disagreement that I will no doubt win 😀

OP posts:
duckpancakes · 22/01/2024 08:03

I'm guessing there's another loo? Ask him to use that!

Strawberrycheesecake7 · 22/01/2024 08:04

I’d love an en-suite. We don’t even have an upstairs bathroom in our house. I can’t just pop to the toilet in the night without going downstairs which wakes the dog up and sets him off barking which then wakes the baby up which then wakes the whole house. An en-suite would be great as any noise would be contained to the bedroom.

regenerate · 22/01/2024 08:04

does he get up before you because he starts work earlier?

duckpancakes · 22/01/2024 08:05

It's a four storey townhouse so we only have an en-suite on our floor, so there is no family bathroom unless he goes up or downstairs. does he have mobility issues? If so a townhouse may not be the right choice

BruceAndNosh · 22/01/2024 08:09

Many bathrooms have the light switch outside (ours does) so I have battery operated sensor lights in both our bathrooms so no bright light spilling into our bedroom (and no fan going on in family bathroom)

couiza · 22/01/2024 08:10

BruceAndNosh · 22/01/2024 08:09

Many bathrooms have the light switch outside (ours does) so I have battery operated sensor lights in both our bathrooms so no bright light spilling into our bedroom (and no fan going on in family bathroom)

That's me too, the sensor lights are fab and as you say they don't switch on the fan either!

HairyQueenofSnots · 22/01/2024 08:15

I love my ensuite but that's because I don't share it with anyone so it means I get privacy when we have guests etc.

I also have a Phillips Hue light installed with a moton sensor. It means I can set it so if I go in during the night, it only comes on very low - too low to properly wake me up - and comes on much brighter during the day.

Could that be an option? Maybe with a 3 second delay after being triggered so your husband can close the door before the light goes on?

Avacardo2023 · 22/01/2024 08:19

I hate en-suites. We had our walls changed so the en-suite is now off the hall as I couldn't stand it anymore. I can see they might be great for people with mobility issues, ill people, certainly single people and a few other reasons but they are definitely not for me.

Aparecium · 22/01/2024 08:22

Does he sit to pee? Dh taught all our boys to sit to pee at night, just as he does. Quieter, less mess, and no need to switch the light on.

Aparecium · 22/01/2024 08:23

Ignore that it's a question. I really don't need to know. Just tell him to sit.

Mintearo7 · 22/01/2024 08:24

Sensor light is a good idea. I think you will just get used to it over time (or wear ear plugs!). I personally think it’s unfair to as DH to go to another floor to use the bathroom.

WhycantIkeepthisbloodyplantalive · 22/01/2024 08:24

I agree, I hate mine. I find it pretty hideous that there is a toilet in our bedroom. My husband always leaves the door open and I feel like I'm sleeping in the bathroom (with disgusting smells)!

Original poster
youarethroughtothenextround · 22/01/2024 08:26

duckpancakes · 22/01/2024 08:05

It's a four storey townhouse so we only have an en-suite on our floor, so there is no family bathroom unless he goes up or downstairs. does he have mobility issues? If so a townhouse may not be the right choice

Thanks.

We obviously wouldn't have bought a four storey townhouse if he had mobility issues 😀

OP posts:
Lzzyisgod · 22/01/2024 08:29

When we had our extension built wirh a new master bedroom and ensuite I jokingly said the ensuite was for girls only (so just me) - no winkies, no stinkies and 5 years on everyone still abides by this rule 😂😂 And I'll be honest it is BLISS.

The other (excellent in my eyes) side of this is it has taught dh and the ds's how to clean a bathroom as they take responsibility for the main one. Life skills right there.

regenerate · 22/01/2024 08:29

youarethroughtothenextround · 22/01/2024 08:26

Thanks.

We obviously wouldn't have bought a four storey townhouse if he had mobility issues 😀

Show quote history

but you. ought it knowing he got up during the night and had to get up earlier then you, and you’re a light sleeper?

Original poster
youarethroughtothenextround · 22/01/2024 08:30

To those saying he should use the family bathroom etc. I totally agree and I'm sure he will start to use it.

But that's my whole point really. Why have en-suites then when you can't use them a lot of the time.

I think we could refigure it so the door is off the hall instead of the bedroom.

OP posts:
regenerate · 22/01/2024 08:30

so he gets up every night to use the loo

do you never?
i am up twice a night since hitting my forties!

regenerate · 22/01/2024 08:30

does he always get up before you in the mornings?

frostyfeet · 22/01/2024 08:31

En suites are disgusting - taking a shit in a corner of your bedroom? Nice!