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AIBU?

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Original poster

I hate my en-suite

110 replies

youarethroughtothenextround · 22/01/2024 07:53

I'm sure this has been discussed before but ...

In our former house we had a bathroom off the hallway.

We've just moved and now have an en-suite.

I'm hating it.

My husband gets up in the night to use the loo and turns the bathroom light on. I can hear everything too!

Then in the morning, he wakes me again as the light goes back on and I can hear him use the loo, shower, clean his teeth etc.

Why do most people seem to love en-suites as I certainly don't! A bathroom off the hall, outside our bedroom, is much better!!!!!

OP posts:
gardenfoundry · 22/01/2024 10:10

If I'm a guest in a house I'd like to have an en suite as I don't want to dash from the shower to my room. But in my own house I'd rather have a dressing room.

Not that many houses have this, but the fashion of open en suites? I really don't want to use the toilet in front of my DH or vice versa. I'll never understand it!

Edited to add: your DH is BU for not doing anything to prevent unnecessarily waking you up.

ManateeFair · 22/01/2024 10:20

Why have en-suites then when you can't use them a lot of the time

Well, plenty of people do use them all the time. It doesn't bother me when my partner gets up for a wee in a hotel en-suite, so it wouldn't bother me if he got up for a wee in an en-suite at home either.

Obviously an en-suite doesn't work for you, but they do work for a lot of people.

Mirabai · 22/01/2024 10:20

Really depends on the size of the rooms.

Newgreendress · 22/01/2024 10:20

I would love an en-suite with the window. To the people not liking the idea - some people probably felt the same about having a toilet inside the house in 50-es.

Elphamouche · 22/01/2024 10:20

We bought one of these coloured motion sensor lights for our en-suite. Neither of us have to put the light on in the night now.

En-suite is also only used for wee’s 😂. Ours is the same in that even with the door closed you can hear everything, fucking new build shit. (Its 20 years old but the whole thing is plasterboard).

ManateeFair · 22/01/2024 10:21

frostyfeet · 22/01/2024 08:31

En suites are disgusting - taking a shit in a corner of your bedroom? Nice!

How do you manage in hotels, then?

Lovelydovey · 22/01/2024 10:22

When we had our loft converted, we have a tiny landing put in and both our bedroom and the shower room/WC open off it. I don't like en suites for the reasons you've stated. It also means that we allow guests to use it if needed without them going in our bedroom.

LuckyCharmz · 22/01/2024 10:25

I can solve your light issue. You can get rechargeable motion sensored lights from ama zon that stick on the wall (Velcro pads), they look like proper slim wall lights. He won’t need to put the main light on.
maybe some draft excluder or similar around the inside of the door frame for a tighter fit, more sound insulation?

Cosyblankets · 22/01/2024 10:31

This is always a divisive issue on here
Some love them some hate them
I love mine and wouldn't want a house without it so i wouldn't buy one.
If you don't like it I'm not sure why you bought a house with an en suite where the only other option is to go up it downstairs

Purplebunnie · 22/01/2024 10:32

Mirror with LED lights. DH always uses this so light doesn't disturb me. It's no where near as bright and a much softer light

NoCloudsAllowed · 22/01/2024 10:36

Is it a new build? I'd guess it's a very thin stud wall, put in sound insulation. Sort lights.

Get over the rest. You can't be that shocked by the sound of pissing, teethbrushing etc. I'd draw the line at defecation sounds. Honestly, so many people in the world don't have a bathroom at all, you're complaining that your husband uses yours.

Somepeoplearesnippy · 22/01/2024 10:41

I am constantly mystified by people saying using an ensuite is like taking a shit in your bedroom. Most en-suites have doors that shut making them a completely separate room to the bedroom. From a hygiene/smell POV I cannot for the life of me see the difference between using that room or one 3 steps down the hall.

I bloody love an ensuite. I can stagger out of bed in the dark, have a wee and be back in bed before I've properly woken up. If I had to use the family bathroom I'd have to consider who else is in the house and if I need to put on a dressing gown to protect my modesty. I wouldn't want to traumatise any of the DC's overnight guests by the sight of me in my fleecy Primark PJs.

madeinmanc · 22/01/2024 10:44

When someone does a poo and the en suite has no window, the faecal particles that are released into the air have no place to go except the bedroom.

JadziaD · 22/01/2024 10:49

OP, I agree. When we did our loft, the original plans called for an en suite bathroom. Thank god my sister pointed out the downside and so we moved it around so that the landing has a door to the bedroom and one to the bathroom. I suspect poor DH could still hear me going for a wee in the night, but it's a lot less obvious. And of course, it's overall just better. Honestly, in your case, I'd be seriously thinking about whether it was worth moving the door to the landing - but I appreciate that could land up being a bit job.

The other advantage for us was that meant we have more wall space in the bedroom as there's only the main door. If we'd had the door there, that's an entire section of the bedroom we couldn't have used for cupboards/desks/dressing tables etc. In the end, we have a dressing table up against the wall between the bedroom and the bathroom, but we did look at various options.

PS I never turn the light on. Unless you live in the outer Hebrides, is it really that dark? I can see just enough to go for a wee myself!

WiddlinDiddlin · 22/01/2024 10:52

WON'T SOMEBODY THINK ABOUT THE POO-PARTICLES....

It would really annoy me to be woken up with a bright light, loud shitting noises etc. I'd have to have no-light no-shit policy if theres someone in the bedroom!

MartinsSpareCalculator · 22/01/2024 10:55

I ripped mine out because I really don't like them. I don't want to shit where I sleep. It's now a walk in wardrobe instead.

WhollyGlorious · 22/01/2024 10:57

Our master bedroom with the en suite is our dressing room, it has all our wardrobes in there and we sleep in a smaller room so that we can get up in the morning and go to the toilet and get dressed in a different room without disturbing the other person. But that only works if you have a room spare to be your dressing room!

DappledThings · 22/01/2024 11:02

MartinsSpareCalculator · 22/01/2024 10:55

I ripped mine out because I really don't like them. I don't want to shit where I sleep. It's now a walk in wardrobe instead.

I find this idea so odd. I don't shit where I sleep. I shit in a separate room that just happens to be next to where I sleep and is accessible only via my bedroom.

Mind you I don't go round freaking out about minute bits of poo in the air and obsessing about closing the lid.

JenniferJupiterVenusandMars · 22/01/2024 11:05

Thankfully we don’t have one; we had one on holiday recently and I had to move into the second bedroom because there wasn’t an effective way of getting rid of odours 🤢, the window didn’t open and no extractor fan.

Quitelikeit · 22/01/2024 11:10

Well your point is not valid to most people as I love my en-suite and it’s part and parcel hearing my oh do big long horsey wees in there 😂😂

Even if he went to the other bathroom I’d still wake up upon him leaving the room.

I take it you will wake up anyway if he goes to a different bathroom? Just put the pillow over your head is my advice or get a draught excluder for under the door to block the sound

tealweasel · 22/01/2024 11:17

I feel like I have the best of all worlds in my house. Top floor has our master bedroom and then a bathroom with bath and separate walk-in shower accessed via a door which is directly next to our bedroom door - so you have two doors separating the bed from anything going on in the bathroom but it only adds maybe two additional steps if you need to get up in the night to pee. I have no major objection to an en suite but I prefer this layout by far.

Fionaville · 22/01/2024 11:17

I would really hate to be without an en suite, after 15 years of having one. So much better being able to go for a night time wee and get back to sleep easier, because you've not had to wake up properly. I dont get disturbed by DH, because I'm a heavy sleeper. It would be near the top of my priority list if we ever moved.

BlueGrey1 · 22/01/2024 11:21

I don’t like them either, in one relationship it contributed to the end of the relationship

He would go into the en suite and you could hear him heaving ( trying to pop) and then come out 10mins later and think I might want to have sex with him…total turn off!

In old days people wouldn’t even have toilets in houses ( they were in the back yard) as people thought they were unhygienic, now they are right off the room where you are expected to be romantic in.

DelphiniumBlue · 22/01/2024 11:23

Ensuites are the devils work! Luckily DH agrees with me so ours actually has a small landing between the bedroom and bathroom, so there are 2 doors. But if the house is quiet you can still hear.
I think it's a design/space saving issue; we could have had an additional storeage cupboard had we gone for the traditional en-suite layout, but we sacrificed that for a bit more privacy.
It's OK for single people, but as most master bedrooms are designed as doubles, you'd think more focus could be put on sound insulation.

SameToo · 22/01/2024 11:28

I’ve never liked en suites. To me it feels a bit like shitting in your bedroom 🤢

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