I hate my en-suite

[youarethroughtothenextround]

I'm sure this has been discussed before but ...

In our former house we had a bathroom off the hallway.

We've just moved and now have an en-suite.

I'm hating it.

My husband gets up in the night to use the loo and turns the bathroom light on. I can hear everything too!

Then in the morning, he wakes me again as the light goes back on and I can hear him use the loo, shower, clean his teeth etc.

Why do most people seem to love en-suites as I certainly don't! A bathroom off the hall, outside our bedroom, is much better!!!!!

There is nothing worse staying in a house with no en-suite bumping into one of your friends or their DH’s on the corridor who’s just had a big poo and breathing in all their poo particles is 🤮. The entire smell and poo particles getting everywhere in common areas. Keep it to yourselves.

The ensuite is MY BATHROOM. It’s a place of blissful relaxation and sweet smells.

DH only uses it in the night for a quick pee and he has a little torch he uses rather than switching on lights. (He also comes to bed after me and gets undressed in the dark)

Everyone else uses the main family bathroom or the downstairs cloakroom. The ensuite is all MINE. 😍

MN poo obsession continues unabated.

Poo particles…

Sounds like a MN DH problem. Inconsiderate husband rather than an en suite issue.

This, exactly.

It's not about having an en suite, it's about using it considerately.

But then they would have had a chamber pot under the bed so they didn't need to go out at night

old days people wouldn’t even have toilets in houses ( they were in the back yard) as people thought they were unhygienic, now they are right off the room where you are expected to be romantic in.

Not at all. They were only ever put in back yards because that's where either the nightsoil was collected from or where the cesspit was dug.

When flushing toilets were invented they were often installed in a cupboard space if there was no bathroom already in the house. This meant that the door was closed when they were not in use, but there was no space to close the door when someone was on the throne. You literally used the toilet with the door open.

People used to be far less squeamish about bodily functions.

Ahh, a good old "poo particle" debate. 😬

I love my en-suite and only use for me. It's my own private space and everyone else uses the main bathroom.

I wouldn't use it while someone was sleeping in the room. Seems a little inconsiderate.

what do you think about hotels?

Same here. DH gets up very early for work and now uses the main bathroom to get ready. So at least that’s something.
We’re in rented, looking to buy. Have seen the odd house with open plan en suite. No door. I mean honestly, how revolting!!
Vanessa Feltz once said that she’d prefer to be in another postcode when she needs the loo.
Me too

There are clearly different types of ensuites as those that hate them are mostly describing shitting in the bedroom and a lack of ventilation.

Mine is a purpose built shower room, not an added toilet squeezed in by taking a corner of the bedroom .

It is a decent size with the toilet on the far wall, has a proper opening window, a full sized door and an effective extractor fan. No poo particles are drifting onto my pillow!

There are clearly different types of ensuites as those that hate them are mostly describing shitting in the bedroom and a lack of ventilation

Exactly as if every home was a new build with tiny rooms and a bathroom stuffed in the corner.

Mine had ventilation. But that meant I had to listen to said ventilation, rather than using the actual bathroom a couple of metres along the hall.

I've no need to have a toilet in my bedroom. I get that other people quite enjoy it. But the OP doesn't.

If you had to listen to ventilation, it was poor ventilation - either badly installed, cheap, or ineffective. Half decent ventilation is virtually silent, even from within the bathroom/ ensuite. (You only have to read many of the Pigletjohn posts to be aware of this.)

I'm incredibly well versed and qualified in ventilation. I didn't build the bathroom, or choose or install the extract fan. But it was perfectly sufficient and of a perfectly decent quality. All sounds are amplified in the dead of night and I don't care to hear them.

I also don't care to piss in what is effectively a walk in cupboard in my bedroom. But to each their own. Some enjoy it, and I enjoy having a nice big wardrobe room.

Do you use the family bathroom for teeth brushing and going to the loo in the night/morning?

How much is he getting up at night to wee? Maybe he needs his prostrate checking? Maybe try no drinks after 6pm so he doesn't need to get up to use the bathroom.

Well, DH sometimes wakes me when leaving the bedroom to go down the hall to the bathroom, despite his best efforts. It's just part of life when you share a bed with someone.

We have an en suite, too, but he tends to use the other bathroom at night. I use the en suite and rarely wake him. I'm just a lighter sleeper than he is.

Yes, I see what you mean OP.

En-suites are great for single people though

It seems that en-suite bathrooms in the UK are invariably poorly built. I’ve seen multiple complaints on MN about them,

I live in a country where it is normal for every bedroom to have its own bathroom but the walls are concrete not plywood and all are properly ventilated.

Why are so many in the UK just big cupboards? Either do them properly or not at all and have two proper bathrooms instead.

How odd. An en-suite bathroom should be properly built, not a tiny thing in a virtual cupboard.

I love mine. Neither of us really get up in the night to pee, but there's a door to close over if we do. There's a fan, a window etc. I can shower for as long as I like without someone else needing to use the room. What's not to love?

the ones in the UK you describe as such will not be in accordance with building regs.

And i can’t say i have ever seen an en-suite like what you describe in the UK

I don't have an en suite, but when we stay at my mum's the guest room has an en suite.
Personally, I always wee in the dark if I get up in the night. My mum lives in the middle of nowhere, where there's zero light pollution, but I can still see well enough to use the loo without a light. The light also activates the extractor, which is another reason not to switch on the light at night.
As for using the bathroom in the morning when it's still dark, my husband/I will enter the bathroom and close the door before switching on the light. The extractor sometimes wakes me but ear plugs prevent that on most occasions.
If it's really causing you an issue, either instigate "rules" like I've outlined here or insist on using the toilet in the main bathroom.
I'd love an en suite and would tolerate all the 2am wees from my husband if we could accommodate one!