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AIBU?

Am I the arsehole here ???

100 replies

Worriedmumma92 · 21/01/2024 10:14

So I’ve been feeling really under the weather this week just head cold symptoms and bit of a tickley cough well I have dd 4 years and a ds 9 months ds still isn’t sleeping threw the night and is having me up every 4 hours well because I’m feeling so bunged up and have a annoying cough it is taking me ages to get back to sleep after doing ds bottle so for context dh works long hours often up at 4 and sometimes not home until 7 other times home nice and early say 2 ish well yesterday we both got up about 7:30 am with dc although I did say he could stay in bed but he declined well last night I was up with ds but felt so poorly really struggled to wake up with dc this morning so dh got up at 7am with them well when I got up at 9am dh is in a right mood saying I’m out of order for letting him get up as he has to get up for work at 4am threw the week and deserves a lay in as I get to have a nap some days with ds while dd is at school dh never does any night feeds ever and I explained I’m not feeling well normally I do give him a lay in now he is stroping around like a child am I the arsehole here ???

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

219 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
21%
You are NOT being unreasonable
79%
Nanny0gg · 21/01/2024 11:10

spicedlemonpie · 21/01/2024 11:07

The word poorly gives me the cringe sorry.
Just say ill or unwell.

Why?

Perfectly acceptable word

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WagWoofWalkMeeoow · 21/01/2024 11:10

spicedlemonpie · 21/01/2024 10:46

You sound controlling.
I wonder if he was ill would you let him sleep even tho he has to get up everyday at 4am.

Edited

@spicedlemonpie

WTF??

yesterday she felt crap, she still said he could stay in bed (such control) he got up anyway (his choice).

he never does any night feeds/wakes. (Controlling cow)

He can have a sleep later/go to bed early.

she 'let him get up'. WTF she's I'll, he's just wet.

@Worriedmumma92 no you're not the asshole. He is. You're ill, he's just a whinging baby man.

i think you need to stop doing all the night wakings & pandering to him when he's not well.

Go back to bed!! Tell him to crack on looking after his own kids on a Sunday when you're not well.

Rest before the manic week starts again. Eat well and nap when you can this week!

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Nanny0gg · 21/01/2024 11:11

PelvicFloorClenchReminder · 21/01/2024 10:40

That was a very long sentence.

So? Did you manage to understand it?

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Spicybeanburger · 21/01/2024 11:12

Not being unreasonable or an arse hole. If your husband is absolutely knackered he can nap later? You're poorly so I'd expect he'd get up.

Also it's lie in and through the week. I'm dyslexic so I learned lots of these things through them being pointed out. I don't want to be a dick.

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Pocketfullofdogtreats · 21/01/2024 11:13

Aylestone · 21/01/2024 10:46

No advice? Just a dig at someone’s grammar after they’ve tried to write a quick post whilst feeling very poorly, and barely having any sleep since last Wednesday?

If you're going to communicate with people then you need to make sure that they understand you, which is why all the punctuation and other rules developed in the first place. I couldn't work out what on earth was going on in that OP.

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Pocketfullofdogtreats · 21/01/2024 11:13

Nanny0gg · 21/01/2024 11:11

So? Did you manage to understand it?

No.

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spicedlemonpie · 21/01/2024 11:13

Nanny0gg · 21/01/2024 11:10

Why?

Perfectly acceptable word

Yes for children grown adults saying they're poorly i just cant ick.
We all have words we dont like.

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Nanny0gg · 21/01/2024 11:14

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 21/01/2024 11:13

If you're going to communicate with people then you need to make sure that they understand you, which is why all the punctuation and other rules developed in the first place. I couldn't work out what on earth was going on in that OP.

Then maybe you need to take more English lessons.

It might not be grammatically perfect but most people with a grasp of the English language could work it out

She's on her knees with tiredness, her post didn't need marking or critiquing

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Nanny0gg · 21/01/2024 11:14

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 21/01/2024 11:13

No.

Then you're the one with the problem

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mightydolphin · 21/01/2024 11:19

MyOodieIsAGoooodie · 21/01/2024 10:59

I'm not an expert at writing OP, but as you asked I've just tweaked this a smidge to make it easier for people to read. I hope that's okay. I resisted adding 'Hint: OP's DH is a bellend!' on the end! x

I’ve been feeling really under the weather this week just head cold symptoms and bit of a tickley cough. I have dd 4 years and a ds 9 months. DS still isn’t sleeping through the night and is having me up every 4 hours. Because I’m feeling so bunged up and have an annoying cough it is taking me ages to get back to sleep after doing ds's bottle. For context, DH works long hours, often up at 4 and sometimes not home until 7, other times home nice and early say 2 ish. Yesterday we both got up about 7:30 am with dc, although I did say he could stay in bed but he declined. Last night I was up with ds but felt so poorly and I really struggled to wake up with dc this morning so dh got up at 7am with them. When I got up at 9am DH is in a right mood saying I’m out of order for letting him get up as he has to get up for work at 4am through the week and deserves a lie in as I get to have a nap some days with ds while dd is at school. DH never does any night feeds ever, and I explained I’m not feeling well. Normally I do give him a lay in and now he is stropping around like a child! Am I the arsehole here???

Thanks! I couldn't be bothered to try and read more than half of the original but I did read yours.

YANBU OP.

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WagWoofWalkMeeoow · 21/01/2024 11:21

spicedlemonpie · 21/01/2024 11:07

The word poorly gives me the cringe sorry.
Just say ill or unwell.

@Spicybeanburger why is anyone supposed to care what gives you the cringe?

Why don't you post elsewhere, all you've done on this thread is complain about the OP's posts.

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Spicybeanburger · 21/01/2024 11:21

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 21/01/2024 11:13

If you're going to communicate with people then you need to make sure that they understand you, which is why all the punctuation and other rules developed in the first place. I couldn't work out what on earth was going on in that OP.

It was perfectly understandable. If you are going to be mean own it. Don't be disingenuous.

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Spicybeanburger · 21/01/2024 11:22

WagWoofWalkMeeoow · 21/01/2024 11:21

@Spicybeanburger why is anyone supposed to care what gives you the cringe?

Why don't you post elsewhere, all you've done on this thread is complain about the OP's posts.

You've tagged the wrong person.

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spicedlemonpie · 21/01/2024 11:23

WagWoofWalkMeeoow · 21/01/2024 11:21

@Spicybeanburger why is anyone supposed to care what gives you the cringe?

Why don't you post elsewhere, all you've done on this thread is complain about the OP's posts.

ive moaned so have others and your doing it to moaning about me.
Thanks for the fed back have a good day.

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MotherofChaosandDestruction · 21/01/2024 11:25

The replies to this post are bizarre! I managed to read the OP just fine, you are not controlling OP and to the pp who said poorly gives them the ick - you really don't need to type out every thought you have.

In response to the actual OP, YANBU, you are ill and sleep deprived so do not feel bad about this. He can go to bed early can't he? I wouldn't get into an argument about it because sleep deprivation can cause people to say things they don't mean but if he keeps digging say that next weekend you'll expect him to do all night feeds then he can lie in both days!

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Travis1 · 21/01/2024 11:25

This reply has been deleted

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Pocketfullofdogtreats · 21/01/2024 11:26

Nanny0gg · 21/01/2024 11:14

Then maybe you need to take more English lessons.

It might not be grammatically perfect but most people with a grasp of the English language could work it out

She's on her knees with tiredness, her post didn't need marking or critiquing

It wasn't the grammar, or even the spelling, it was the total lack of punctuation. In my job (copy-editing) I see people arguing over the placement of a single comma, so this is the other end of the scale. I wish the OP well and hope she gets some rest.

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WagWoofWalkMeeoow · 21/01/2024 11:26

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 21/01/2024 11:13

If you're going to communicate with people then you need to make sure that they understand you, which is why all the punctuation and other rules developed in the first place. I couldn't work out what on earth was going on in that OP.

@Pocketfullofdogtreats

well, that's on you. Plenty of us worked it out just fine.

shes exhausted, unwell & has two small children with a selfish bellend. She's not at her best & you don't know her background.
she feels like she might be in the wrong for sleeping when she's ill & 'allowing' the bellend to get up.

she needs support not people bellyaching about her writing.

give your head a wobble.

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Worriedmumma92 · 21/01/2024 11:27

spicedlemonpie · 21/01/2024 11:23

ive moaned so have others and your doing it to moaning about me.
Thanks for the fed back have a good day.

Edited

Since we are correcting people’s grammar on this post “feed”. Your welcome.

OP posts:
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Nonomono · 21/01/2024 11:27

He’s being unreasonable.

He works very long hours to provide for you and the kids and in normal circumstances I would let him be the one to lie in.

But this was a one off and you are unwell.

Most partners would be encouraging you to stay in bed to try and get better.

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TeenLifeMum · 21/01/2024 11:28

Poster says she’s exhausted and ill and people criticise her grammar? Ffs, she’s not submitting a dissertation for marking. It’s perfectly readable.

op, rather than arguing make a plan as to who gets a lay in which day on weekends and take turns. It’s the only way to survive the early years. Hope you feel better soon xxx

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ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 21/01/2024 11:28

I think you're both just shattered. You gave him the option of a lie in yesterday, he chose not to take it. You're ill this morning, nobody's fault, but ill person gets the lie in in my book. I suggest you have a chat and agree to go easy on each other. Babies are exhausting.

Ignore the grammar police. I understood it just fine. Didn't notice the lack of full stops to be honest, I had to go back and check what they were talking about. Some people just like to feel superior 🙄

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spicedlemonpie · 21/01/2024 11:28

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Yes i woke and thought i dont care anymore im gonna say what i think just like the rest of mumsnet.

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spicedlemonpie · 21/01/2024 11:29

Worriedmumma92 · 21/01/2024 11:27

Since we are correcting people’s grammar on this post “feed”. Your welcome.

Thank you glad you sorted that for me.

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WagWoofWalkMeeoow · 21/01/2024 11:31

Spicybeanburger · 21/01/2024 11:22

You've tagged the wrong person.

@Spicybeanburger

very sorry 🌷

iim struggling with my eyes on the screen & the @ brought up your name . Sorry.

obviously @spicedlemonpie

though why I'm bothering I don't know. Probably best just ignored.

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