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AIBU?

Am I the arsehole here ???

100 replies

Worriedmumma92 · 21/01/2024 10:14

So I’ve been feeling really under the weather this week just head cold symptoms and bit of a tickley cough well I have dd 4 years and a ds 9 months ds still isn’t sleeping threw the night and is having me up every 4 hours well because I’m feeling so bunged up and have a annoying cough it is taking me ages to get back to sleep after doing ds bottle so for context dh works long hours often up at 4 and sometimes not home until 7 other times home nice and early say 2 ish well yesterday we both got up about 7:30 am with dc although I did say he could stay in bed but he declined well last night I was up with ds but felt so poorly really struggled to wake up with dc this morning so dh got up at 7am with them well when I got up at 9am dh is in a right mood saying I’m out of order for letting him get up as he has to get up for work at 4am threw the week and deserves a lay in as I get to have a nap some days with ds while dd is at school dh never does any night feeds ever and I explained I’m not feeling well normally I do give him a lay in now he is stroping around like a child am I the arsehole here ???

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

219 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
21%
You are NOT being unreasonable
79%
Nonomono · 21/01/2024 11:34

Ignore the posters who are trying to derail your thread and nitpicking over the use of your words.

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gindreams · 21/01/2024 11:35

@spicedlemonpie how is that controlling?

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Worriedmumma92 · 21/01/2024 11:38

Wow!! Some people woke up and chose violence this morning. Thankyou for all the helpful responses!! And for everyone else ridiculing my grammar, i hope you step on Lego ! Not what I needed this morning.

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Tinkerbyebye · 21/01/2024 11:39

I don’t understand your very long one sentence post.

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TheSoapyFrog · 21/01/2024 11:40

I don't think YABU. I would guess that you're not ill very often, and it wouldn't kill him to sacrifice a little bit of sleep for a while as you recuperate.
That's the way it should go with partners; one picks up the slack while the other takes it a little easier.

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Katemax82 · 21/01/2024 11:41

Yabu for spelling through as "threw". Otherwise yanbu

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Worriedmumma92 · 21/01/2024 11:42

Tinkerbyebye · 21/01/2024 11:39

I don’t understand your very long one sentence post.

Then I think you need re educating. I struggle to find a well educated person unable to understand a post without punctuation!

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CrackersCheeseNoWinePlease · 21/01/2024 11:44

You told him to stay in bed, he refused. Now he's complaining he had to get up today?.
Tell him to grow up and act like a parent

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regenerate · 21/01/2024 11:50

So generally a pretty shitty relationship?

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Worriedmumma92 · 21/01/2024 11:52

regenerate · 21/01/2024 11:50

So generally a pretty shitty relationship?

Piss off! Seriously is your life that sad ?

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regenerate · 21/01/2024 11:53

good grief

you’re on a knife edge

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Worriedmumma92 · 21/01/2024 12:00

regenerate · 21/01/2024 11:53

good grief

you’re on a knife edge

And you’re clearly not helping.

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Nonomono · 21/01/2024 12:01

Katemax82 · 21/01/2024 11:41

Yabu for spelling through as "threw". Otherwise yanbu

Bloody hell what is wrong with some posters today!

No wonder so many people don’t bother starting threads on here anymore.

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Carryonmywaywarddaughter · 21/01/2024 12:04

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

regenerate · 21/01/2024 12:04

Worriedmumma92 · 21/01/2024 12:00

And you’re clearly not helping.

but if a generally shitty relationship - then the issue is broader and this is just a symptom.

Whereas if otherwise he gets up 4am 5 days a week and then does one day at the weekend up early… then perhaps not having had his usual lie in this morning has just put him in a bad mood for the prospect of 5 mornings ahead of him at 4am.

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pictoosh · 21/01/2024 12:06

spicedlemonpie · 21/01/2024 11:07

The word poorly gives me the cringe sorry.
Just say ill or unwell.

Why have you posted this? No one cares.
And an instruction too.

Poorly, poorly, poorly, poorly, poorly.

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Travis1 · 21/01/2024 12:07

spicedlemonpie · 21/01/2024 11:28

Yes i woke and thought i dont care anymore im gonna say what i think just like the rest of mumsnet.

That’s nice dear

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ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 21/01/2024 12:11

Then don't bother posting on the thread

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hogmanayhoolie · 21/01/2024 12:13

Tinkerbyebye · 21/01/2024 11:39

I don’t understand your very long one sentence post.

Another poster rephrased it a few posts later.

If you find that you'll understand what OP was saying

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cerisepanther73 · 21/01/2024 12:22

@Worriedmumma92

I think 🤔 if he is working all week getting up exceptionally early as that 4am
then you need to compromise in as he needs to have a lie ins , take it turns, to do thus for each other,
and you both need desperately to get extra more support from both sets of families you have in some way,

If not able to cause of whatever reasons ?

You are just not close enough to them ,or they are no good in that respects or they have health issues to contend with?

then look elsewhere for emotionally and practically elsewhere for extra support system
such as paid registered childminder or other kinds of practicall paid support?
🤔

Or

even a reproctral baby sitting circle with friends,
taking it in turns baby sitting idea?

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cerisepanther73 · 21/01/2024 12:24

@Worriedmumma92
Sorry about the typos mistakes in my mumsnet reply post..

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pictoosh · 21/01/2024 12:26

I hate it when posters tell other posters what words to use or worse, insult them because of the use of a word.

I remember all the baying over 'hubby'. So many jumped on the bandwagon even though it's a commonly used term...and some poor posters were ripped apart and accused of all sorts of character defects for using it.
Like bitchy Borg.

It was pretty pathetic.

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Mrsttcno1 · 21/01/2024 12:28

I think for me it depends on the situation with the “lie ins”, yes if he is getting up at 4am mid week then if it was me I would make sure he’s able to have a lie in on a weekend. But at least in our house it needs to be clear in advance who’s “lie in” it is that day because for me if it’s my “turn” for a lie in and DH waits until I’m also awake and then goes “ah you can stay in bed”, I’d be irritated, if it’s my turn for a lie in then that means he gets up straight away so he doesn’t wake me and goes to sort the dogs out etc. At the point I’ve also been awake at half 7 and he says I can stay in bed, that’s not my lie in, I’m awake.

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Worriedmumma92 · 21/01/2024 12:29

pictoosh · 21/01/2024 12:26

I hate it when posters tell other posters what words to use or worse, insult them because of the use of a word.

I remember all the baying over 'hubby'. So many jumped on the bandwagon even though it's a commonly used term...and some poor posters were ripped apart and accused of all sorts of character defects for using it.
Like bitchy Borg.

It was pretty pathetic.

Generally wish my life was so boring as to be worried about others grammar, wording etc.
some people obviously have to much time on their hands. I’m not worried, more amused.

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NotQuiteNorma · 21/01/2024 12:30

Froniga · 21/01/2024 10:21

So he injects to getting up for his child!!
Just tell him you’re going out and he can take care of both of HIS children. Back when you’re back.
it takes 2 to make a baby and 2 should share the care!

What part of he's up at 4am the rest of the week did you miss?

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