To think karma doesn’t exist?

[Fuckfucketyfuckfuckfuck]

I went through an utterly horrific experience a few years ago. Someone who I trusted and considered a friend was the cause of this. I don’t want to provide the exact scenario as this could be outing but she betrayed me in a horrific way when I was at a very vulnerable point in my life and it blew my life apart. Although I have rebuilded my life, I still think about what happened all the time and obviously I still feel a lot of hurt and anger because of what happened. I still to this day feel Kirby to but red hot visceral hatred towards her. I’m not by nature a person who holds grudges, I have always been quick to forgive and don’t like conflict but what she did was unforgivable. Not once has she reached out to me, to try and explain, apologize or try to make amends. That’s fine as it’s obviously just indicative of the type of person she is but what really sticks in my throat is the fact that it seems her life has gone from strength to strength ever since. New (better) job, new partner, new home, new baby. We live in a small community so all of this stuff gets back to me whether I like it or not. Moving away is unfortunately not an option for us, certainly at the moment. I feel like she’s treated me like garbage and been rewarded for it by karma rather than punished. AIBU to think karma is just a made up concept that people tell themselves to feel better about someone who has treated them badly? That actually, it doesn’t exist, and people like this actually just get to live a normal happy life despite their actions?

No karma doesn’t exist but revenge does.
Yes I know it’s frowned upon on MN, you should be living your best life etc etc.
However I found revenge very satisfying. Someone told a lie that made others thing badly of me, so two years later I did something that affected them (financially not physically).
They didn’t know that I was the person who had instigated or pushed for this change of policy but it meant that they were the equivalent of about £100 per month worst off.
I still occasionally see this person 30 years later and still have a little smirk to myself when I see them.
Probably means I am a bad person, but it certainly made me feel better at the time.

I don't believe in karma. But I do believe that bad peoples behaviour does catch up with them eventually. Like my exh. After nearly destroying me and leaving me destitute he then went on to be quite successful and remarried. But ultimately he would never of changed and his life imploded some years down the line because he once again showed his true colours but this time he couldn't cover it all up with lies.

Or the piece of scum who hurt my family member who got away with it, recently heard they are in a mental health facility. Maybe that guilt they carried became too much in the end. Who knows.

Everyone's behaviour does catch up with them eventually, because we keep repeating behaviour patterns. So when we find ourselves in a similar situation in the future we do the same thing - unless we've made a concerted effort to change.
That's what I think karma is. Humans are creatures of habit and fairly predictable, and there are a limited number of scenarios. So we find ourselves in the same place over and over.

It doesn't exist. Don't waste your life hoping for it. Get on with your life. We all do rubbish things. Every single one of us.

This is an anonymous forum. Why wouldn't you just say what they did? It's the point of an anonymous forum. People don't know who you are. You can change small details if you want to ensure no one figures it out.

Anyway, karma. It doesn't work in some wooo way. It works if at all because when someone behaves in an inappropriate manner, they demonstrate this is who they are. They continue living the way they live and people don't reward them forever. You reap what you sow us the same. IRS not that I'll get punished by the universe. It's just consequences. The consequence of being deceitful is that you bring into yourself issues due to the manner in which you live your life.

So waiting around for some Devine punishment is just pointless.

Karma doesn’t mean what you think it means, OP. Instead of thinking it’s a made up concept to make you feel better, maybe just leave to the Buddhists, its their religion, and much more than the Western construct you’re putting on it.

"Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing for most of us that it is not." - Oscar Wilde

I was in a similar situation. But i kinda gather that things work in strange ways. In my situation i believe i was wronged because that person was acting out of pain and jealousy, so rather then the universe per say punishing as revenge, maybe its more a path of healing and acceptence for her so its not repeated. I feel revenge is a vicious cycle that never ends. Person hurts takes it out on another, that persons hurts wants revenge inadvertently hurts those around them from the bitterness and the hatred spreads.

Besides she might feel awful inside and all the fabulous life you see is like a band aid.

There have been cases where karma has worked for me.

I worked as a teacher for a famous private school but was bulliedby staff and students so left after a short oeriod of time.
2 years later and said school was in the news for teaching the wrong gcse syllabus in my department. I felt bad for the kids but it did reassure me that the culture of the school was faulty in general and not because I was a shit professional.

Also my extremely abusive ex called me to apologise and moan that his wife had left him!

What people said upthread. Karma doesn't exist in itself like a comic power, but if someone goes about their life regularly treating others like shit, there will be a comeuppance eventually even if it takes ages.
A friend screwed me for money/ a house situation some years ago. She totally threw me under a bus. About five years later I got an apology email basically crying about how she'd no friends. Well maybe treat them better then. Didn't answer it. I don't have hundreds of friendships but I have solid long-standing ones because I don't abuse people's trust for my own benefit. It goes like that imo.

I personally feel that karma doesn't really exist, however I have no issues indulging in a little 'Schadenfreude' when someone who has been rude/unkind/cheeky/other not pleasant things has something not so nice happen to them.

Schadenfreude loosely translates as enjoying someone else's misfortune.

@redheadsaregreat as I said in my OP, the details would be very outing, even if I changed some small details. There are several people I know who frequent these threads daily and would have a very strong inkling that it was me. I don’t want that to happen as I don’t want the people who know me to know how much this still impacts my life

Perfectly put. This is how I feel too. Better than holding in anger and plotting or hoping for revenge.

Karma doesn't exist but I do wish it did.
Bitches do better, sadly. 🥲

Maybe instead of karma we can call it comeuppance or just desserts x

Sometimes you have to give karma a little nudge in the right direction. Last year someone I had always told my DH that I have never trusted did just that to us, while we had to keep a dignified silence knowing we were being dragged through the dirt. They had been doing other rather unpleasant things which have now been exposed and opened a whole can of worms for themselves. I couldn't feel more quietly satisfied if I tried.

Have you ever told her the impact her actions had on your life

Given this quite significant disclosure you've given, I'd say it's exactly what happened to me on two separate occasions (I.e. someone deliberately going out of their way to causing me harm, in one case publicly in front of several people I care about). To begin with, I couldn't process what they'd done, I couldn't match who they were to me, with their behaviour it was so heinous. I kept asking why, was I such a horrible person? Did I deserve it?

Ive had to separate myself from them and what they did to be able to cope with it. One of them tried to contact me recently through SM and I ignored them. I didn't block them, I just didn't respond at all, not a flicker of recognition. It felt like a criminal returning to the scene of the crime, wanting to engage with me and I had just about forgotten their existence and there they were back to haunt me, I had to ignore them or I would have said something I'd regret.

whilst my "poison" maxim may not be to everyone's likIng, I find it useful to remind myself that the only person who is harmed by anger and resentment is oneself. You lose something if you let that vile person get to you, destroy your peace of mind and rob you of the happiness you deserve. ignore, move on and don't allow them to occupy your headspace. I've had to so I'm not telling you anything I haven't had to do myself x

Not so much Karma but I believe and have seen the whole what goes around comes around thing or what you do comes back on you. People like that will always slip up. They will lie to/steal from/scam the wrong person one day. She's done it to you, she'll do it again.

I'm sorry you were hurt. She will slip up.

FallingStar21

Um my husband becoming tetraplegic overnight? That's karma? I have never upset or hurt anyone. I am a good, decent and caring person.

Bollocks to karma, neither of us deserved this, our lives are fucked. But thanks for the lovely support, karma will get you in the end I imagine if you believe in it so much as you do 'past lives'

I think if Karma is real no one would be happy.

I wonder if people in the developed world know how lucky they are.

If you turn on the news it's obvious people needlessly suffer. Do people think that's karma?

We all have done things in our lives that hurt other people.

What if someone you hurt thought that this person hurting you was your karma?

I think we choose our reactions and that determines our success in life more than anything. What we learn, who we love, how we help.

@Fuckfucketyfuckfuckfuck
Just cause her life looks perfect and rosy
People often put on a social mask facade for appearances that everything is perfect when in reality isn't,

I do believe in Karma happens at times, but not often enough,
but its difficult to know as you don't allways find out straight away it can be a lot later down the line type of thing,
as i have experienced it myself several times later down the line,
In very weird circumstances at times,

Could write a book about it,🤔

I do wish it happened a lot more often though..

If that makes sense

My 5 year old daughter has a serious illness. She’s been incredibly poorly for the last 2.5 years. We are keeping the wolf at the door but in these last 5 years I’ve met children who have died and children who have conditions with a life expectancy of 5-6 years old. Last week I met a 6 week old baby not expected to see her first birthday. These parents have lost friends, family, their jobs and sometimes their homes. Awful things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people. Torturing yourself with ‘what did I do to deserve this?’ Is the absolute worst thing you can do.

I am so sorry to hear that. @Iamasentientoctopus 💐💐💐

I don't believe in karma. Definitely not.
If someone gets their comeuppance, then it's just a stroke of luck.