To think karma doesn’t exist?

[Fuckfucketyfuckfuckfuck]

I went through an utterly horrific experience a few years ago. Someone who I trusted and considered a friend was the cause of this. I don’t want to provide the exact scenario as this could be outing but she betrayed me in a horrific way when I was at a very vulnerable point in my life and it blew my life apart. Although I have rebuilded my life, I still think about what happened all the time and obviously I still feel a lot of hurt and anger because of what happened. I still to this day feel Kirby to but red hot visceral hatred towards her. I’m not by nature a person who holds grudges, I have always been quick to forgive and don’t like conflict but what she did was unforgivable. Not once has she reached out to me, to try and explain, apologize or try to make amends. That’s fine as it’s obviously just indicative of the type of person she is but what really sticks in my throat is the fact that it seems her life has gone from strength to strength ever since. New (better) job, new partner, new home, new baby. We live in a small community so all of this stuff gets back to me whether I like it or not. Moving away is unfortunately not an option for us, certainly at the moment. I feel like she’s treated me like garbage and been rewarded for it by karma rather than punished. AIBU to think karma is just a made up concept that people tell themselves to feel better about someone who has treated them badly? That actually, it doesn’t exist, and people like this actually just get to live a normal happy life despite their actions?

I believe in karma but sometimes we dont always see it.
Because when it happens to them people the try to hid it.
I always say the truth will always oversee a lie in the end no matter how long it takes.
the truth will always come out.
My best revenge is getting on with my life and wait one day i`ll hear something by that time i wont even care.

I'm a big believer in karma. That's why whenever anything really bad and unfair happens to me I always go out and push over a child just to even the score.

Not at all. In fact, in my darker moments I wonder if the universe is basically evil. I have seen good, gentle people go through the most horrific suffering and death. What the hell could they have done to deserve that? Meanwhile, if I were to list all the most horrible people I know, every one of them is still alive and in many cases happy. The boy who made my final two years at school utterly miserable, who encouraged and egged on the bullying, is now a rich and happily married banker living in a big house in Asia with three daughters. Time and again I have experienced this – good people suffering and evil people thriving. And every time I think it's my imagination, it happens again.

No, I don’t believe in it (in terms of its definition outside of a religious context as some kind of payback in this lifetime).

I once read a quote along the lines of ‘if karma existed then bad things wouldn’t happen to good people, and genocidal dictators wouldn’t live into comfortable old age flying around in private jets’.

But I also don’t believe that anyone lives a stress-free, trouble-free, sadness-free life. And when one of life’s inevitable curveballs hits this person, in whatever form it takes, she’ll be wondering whether it’s the payback she deserves for what she did to you. Which is karma, kind of.

Hard as it is, OP, try to let go of that black anger and resentment towards her - it’s a heavy burden for you to carry and affects your happiness and wellbeing but has zero effect on her life - and it means that she, and her past actions, still have a presence and power over you. Don’t let the twat occupy that space in your head and heart.

Some interpretations of karma could well be described as 'natural consequences'.

I wish I hadn't believed in karma when young.

It left me so disappointed when I grew up and saw bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people.

Just look at how many unsolved murders there are...

Came on to say exactly this. If something bad happens to me (eg I had a tyre blowout in the middle of nowhere on a Sunday evening in October) then I'll stew on if I'd done something to warrant it but overall when you think of the bad things that happen to good people and the shit some bad people get away with it's not really possible to make a case for it's existence.

But Karma doesn't work like that.
Firstly, you may think you are "good people" but may be oblivious to pain and suffering you've caused.
Secondly, the Law of Karma goes hand in hand with the law of Rebirth, which suggests that you would have done things in previous life or lives and now you have to clear that debt (for your own sake too, so you can learn from your own experiences and grow spiritually).
Thirdly, whilst Karma is a Universal Law and there's no escape, we also have Free Will and choice, which apply to you and anyone around you.
It's quite complex and I don't have the full answers, but this is my general belief.

Firstly, you may think you are "good people" but may be oblivious to pain and suffering you've caused.

This is a really key point. Some of the people whom I believe to be among the worst I've known truly believe themselves to be exceptionally good. You couldn't say that they live with the guilt of what they did because they don't think they did anything to feel guilty about, or if they do, they think circumstances make it forgivable and not so bad. When I think back to some things from when I was younger, I can see that I'd be the villain in the piece for some people. I never intended to be but I did weak and stupid things and they had consequences.

I do believe in karma , but it gets people in different ways .. ways that you can surprise you her life may seem happy .. but you don't really know

I would go even further and say that anyone wishing bad karma on another person, is, in that moment themself, a bad person.

I've seen karma pay back in a very big way through my life.so I've always tried to be a good person and

You don't need to see it , I believe its there one way or another by the end of ones life.

I get that and I examined and re-examined my own behaviour in my situation.

I don't think most people literally believe in karma as some kind of mystical force that ensures everyone magically gets justice, do they?

I think most people just realise that fucking other people over is a great short term strategy (you can gain a lot by being willing to throw others under a bus) but a very poor long term strategy (you're going to run out of people who trust you and that's going to make your life worse in the long run, plus each time you risk fucking over someone who has the power to fuck you over worse).

Life isn't fair, but actions do have consequences and if you fuck around enough you will find out.

I don't think Karma exists as some sort of magic spirit that drops a brick on the head of someone who just kicked a dog, but I do think it's a way to express the principle that people who behave like shits will at some point meet with some sort of consequence. To go back to my example of a person kicking a dog. The chances of them experiencing the consequence of being bitten is obviously much greater than that of someone who hasn't kicked the dog. It might not happen when they do it the first or second time, but if they keep doing it, odds are one day they'll do it to a dog that won't sit there and take it.

It must be so tempting to think up ways to undermine her now. I hear you OP.

I think karma exists in the sense that if she’s a dickhead to lots of people at some point someone is going to retaliate and she will get a taste of her own medicine.

Did she do anything to you that breaks the law? If so, you should report her.

Karma as I have been brought up to understand is a spiritual thing as well as an eventful one.

She did what she did because her spirit is broken. And that's her karma. Her broken spirit will touch everything in her life. Perhaps she has reflected and become a better person. No doubt if she has wronged you in the way you think she has, it will already be coming back to her - people won't directly confront her but they'll be wary.

Your own thoughts towards her will bring your own karma. If you draw a line under what happened, you will be able to concentrate on improving your life and spirit, instead of dwelling on her wrongdoings.

Or if you can, just have it out with her. Write her a letter and get it off your chest.
Or consider therapy to move on.

I have a similar situation with a few close family members - it went on for years. A few years ago I just decided to just let it go. I'm a much better person since. It wasn't easy but I had to pretend to myself and others that I just wasn't bothered, and the burden of it soon lifted. If anyone asks about them I just shrug my shoulders. My life is mine and I'm happy in it. That's all that matters.

I agree that a person who does awful things to others is not a happy person.
On the surface they may appear to have everything, but if you scratch the surface they are as miserable as sin

You could try reframing your anger as something negative into something positive - that anger is protecting you from ever being friends with her or someone like that ever again. It’s reminding you they are not to be trusted. I think anger can be super healthy 🤷‍♀️ embrace it!

I definitely believe in karma! Just because she seems to have it all now, doesn't mean karma won't come around to bite her in the arse somewhere down the line, have faith!

As some sort of mystical balancing force in the universe that keeps track and dispenses justice?

No. It isn't real. It's just what people tell themselves and other to make them feel better.

Someone who is a shit coming unstuck because of the consequences of their own behaviour is real but that's not karma. It doesn't happen independently of their behaviour because the universe orchestrated it.

I believe karma is taught in the Bible. Eg, did this child sin that he was born blind, or did his parents? Implies, firstly that he had a previous life, and secondly that the consequences of bad actions result in suffering

'The doctrine of kamma is probably the most misunderstood of all the Buddha’s teachings.'

https://www.dhammawiki.com/index.php?title=Kamma

As I've said, this is a complex idea that differs between Buddhist schools and individual Buddhists.

Here is an Early Buddhist/Theravada viewpoint:

https://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/study/kamma.html

And of course this grew from Hinduism, as Buddhism itself did. I don't begin to know anything about Hinduism, so I don't feel able to comment on its meaning there.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karma_in_Hinduism