To ask why you had your first baby?

[innerdesign]

I'm married, mid-30s, and have no children. I've never really wanted children, but now that it's getting to the stage where it won't be an option for much longer it's obviously playing on my mind, along with the fact that it feels that everyone in my peer group is pregnant or on mat leave.

So can I ask, what made you decide to TTC? I'd really appreciate thoughtful responses, I suppose 'i just wanted to' is semi-helpful but it would be good to know if you've always just known you wanted kids, if it hit you at a certain age, if you decided to when your sibling or best friend had their first etc. Did you think really hard about it or is it something you always expected to do? Thanks in advance

I like children, I always wanted them, and when I eventually concluded this wasn't likely to happen in a relationship I went to a considerable amount of trouble to get pregnant through fertility treatment.

I always knew I wanted children and could imagine myself as a mum, (in my personal opinion) my life would've felt unfulfilled if I didn't have them- I just knew for a lot of years I wasn't yet ready. Then the feeling started growing on me, I started feeling jealous of people that had babies and then I knew I was ready.

For some people that feeling never comes, they have perfectly fulfilled happy lives without children- don't feel the pressure if you don't feel its for you!

To continue the loving family that I come from. I had a lovely childhood along with my sisters and brother and wanted to recreate the same.

Conception, pregnancy, childbirth and children themselves are much less predictable than not having children, so I don't think it's comparable in terms of decision making. Even if people don't seem to give parenthood a lot of deliberate thought before conception, that doesn't mean it's completely irrational or thoughtless - it can be more like having a positive disposition towards having children (maybe deep down, or at the back of their minds but not wanting to tempt fate) and that's ok.

I have a few friends who decided to try in a fairly relaxed way, and then when they didn't conceive realised they really did want to, and ended up doing everything they could to conceive. If you have no sense that you might want to be a parent, perhaps it's really not for you. It being the 'done thing' can also be swayed by hormones.