To ask why you had your first baby?

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I'm married, mid-30s, and have no children. I've never really wanted children, but now that it's getting to the stage where it won't be an option for much longer it's obviously playing on my mind, along with the fact that it feels that everyone in my peer group is pregnant or on mat leave.

So can I ask, what made you decide to TTC? I'd really appreciate thoughtful responses, I suppose 'i just wanted to' is semi-helpful but it would be good to know if you've always just known you wanted kids, if it hit you at a certain age, if you decided to when your sibling or best friend had their first etc. Did you think really hard about it or is it something you always expected to do? Thanks in advance

Not the most helpful answer but I'd always wanted a child since being young, i used to babysit baby cousins/our god daughters and loved it.

My IBS sabotaging my contraception!

I got pregnant at 21. Didn't have any other options so was having a baby. Best decision ever, even though no forethought went into it.

I had bad periods since they started and at 19 was told by 3 different specialists I will never naturally conceive and if at all it will have to be earlier vs later in life. I wasn't sure I wanted children though, but by the time I was 21 I needed surgery for endometriosis and was medically advised if I want a child it is more likely to happen before surgery. Met my husband a few weeks later, got married very quickly and A few thousand pounds later I had 2 beautiful babies and finally had surgery I needed.

It was hard being a young mother, but wouldn't change it and happy I didn't wait.

Always wanted children. Came from a very happy big family and so did hubby. Never bothered with contraception got married then hey presto 2 singles and twins so we have 4 and I love every minute

We knew we wanted a baby after going on a weekend away and seeing families out together and we both got a feeling we wanted that life too. It was a feeling of knowing we’ve done everything we want to do and we could have a baby without feeling like we was “missing out”.
We did have a contraception fail which was a blessing in disguise because I don’t think either of us had the bottle to pull the plug on contraception and try for a baby; but we had moved into our house, we have a lovely stable relationship and an amazing family around us so it really felt meant to be.

All I have ever really wanted is to be a mother, and a wife, and have my own happy, stable and loving family, something I, sadly, didn’t really have as a child. So once DH and I had married, and been travelling together, having a baby was the obvious next step. It took a long time for me to fall pregnant which was excruciating painful but it all worked out in the end.

I didn't TTC, I found out I was pregnant after a very brief break between pills 🫣 and just decided to go with it & try it - yes I was in for a shock! And think being prepared and even a little bit more knowledgeable would have been better.

In my 20's I didn't think about babies, always saw myself with a daughter but thought I was too young. Married at 29 then early 30's started seriously thinking about kids even though I didn't feel ready still. Looking back I don't think you ever are truly ready for kids to descend on your life. Combination of work politics, money, needing larger car etc
Anyway pregnant at 32 after deciding to start trying and fell pretty much straightaway.
Gave birth to a beautiful daughter. Was happy ish for 9 years then felt immense pressure to have another as didn't want her left alone in the world and had another daughter. So at last 2 daughters.

DH and I met at 18, never wanted children. Then when I was 32 I started watching videos on YouTube of couples announcing their pregnancies to their families and feeling a bit... almost nostalgic? We are the only shot at grandchildren on both sides.

Then! DH suggested he might want to be a dad one day in Caffe Nero and I said I'd been wanting to bring the subject up. Almost 2 years later (he took his sweet time) DS was born.

So it was a combo of both changing our minds, curiosity, wanting to make our parents grandparents. I didn't feel at all biologically inclined.

I always knew I wanted to be a mum, but was in no rush. I married at 31, came off the pill, but wasn't actively TTC. I fell pregnant at 32, and was over the moon, but miscarried. This was what made me realise how much I wanted a baby. It was a devastating time and my whole focus was on conceiving again. I sadly had another miscarriage 6 months later, but finally had my son the next year. It sounds so clichéd, but becoming a mum has made me complete and I am so grateful to have my son.

ExDH wanted children - I wasn’t sure
Then my best friend had her DD and I started re considering

I was never baby-minded, we were married about 8 years and as I overheard my mother saying to MIL on the subject 'we were too busy enjoying ourselves', this was about 47 years ago so younger than most first timers today. I heard through the grapevine that an ex-colleague had reached 34 and had been told they'd left it too late, her husband worked in a lab and he took cyanide. We decided to see what would happen if I dropped my pill, next month..........

Planned to have my first at 30 as I wanted to have an established career and mortgage sorted first. However, I turned 30 in 2020 so we decided to put babies on hold until the world went ‘back to normal’. I really didn’t want to have to go to scans alone or have my partner waiting in the car to be called in.

Got to 40 and then thought it was now or never.

Thought I'd regret it when I was 60.

I think 35 is a better age to have a baby. A 16 year old at 56 is not easy!

The younger the better. Also... do it when your friends are. That helps a lot.

I guess I just don't think 'might regret not doing it when I'm 60' and 'all my friends are doing it' are good reasons...

I didn’t think I would have any children, we were quite happy the two of us. Then when I turned 29, I was desperate to have a baby, like a switch had flipped inside me. We had two babies, in under 2 years 😂 best thing we ever did, ours are in their 20’s now. Totally made our lives having our two DS’. They are just wonderful.

I'm 47- at least half of my female friends, in their 40s are child free by choice. It's a growing demographic.

I was on the fence in that I enjoyed my childfree life immensely, but I had a nagging fear that I'd reach the point it was too late and regret it.

DH has always wanted them.

We decided to let nature take it's course and 3 years later, just before my 40th, found out I was pregnant. I'm now 21 weeks and we're nervously excited for the adventure that awaits us.

They aren't. I'm 55 and don't regret being childfree at all, what would I be regretting exactly?

I didn’t want children until I met my husband and then for some reason I was desperate

my mum was the exact same. One day she just woke up and wanted a baby.

That's my definition of TTC - stopping contraception. Anything like checking ovulation is just an extra

For me from the age of about 31 I was absolutely mad to have a baby. It was a real biological urge.

If you have ever felt an urge to have sex?

Well similar to that - something you aren't really in control of - but instead an urge to have a baby. It was quite a physical urge - I wanted a baby in my arms and to feed and hold.

I was exactly liķe you. 37, together with DH 15 years, never had any interest in children (didn't like them tbh), I had always assumed I would never have children. We were comfortably off and had travelled a lot.

There was a decision to be made and we discussed it long and hard, and yes, "we might regret not doing it" was the biggest factor.
We decided to ttc with much trepidation, I was pregnant within a month, quite terrified and we had DC2 2 years later. They are now grown up.
It was a gamble - what if we hated it? The work, the loss of freedom etc.

In fact it was the single best decision of my life and I only wish I'd done it sooner.
The first couple of years were very tough but even then I had no regrets.

I am certain that if we had decided against we would have had no regrets because we wouldn't have known what we were missing out on. I couldn't possibly have imagined how much joy having children would bring into my life (and I still don't like other people's children).

I was dumped after my then partner had an affair; children were never discussed as we were early then mid 20s. I spent some time single and thought about what I really wanted, started OLD with clear expectations that I was looking for marriage and children and went from there. Had my son aged 30 after a year of TTC and couldn't be happier. We always planned to just have one and no plans for another.