I have quite a complex relationship with my dad - we are very close in that he’s pretty much raised me since my teens (when my mum died), I tell him a lot and wouldn’t say I have many secrets, he shares a lot with me too, visit him often (maybe for 1 week per month), we call every day, he says that my DD (2yo) and I are the only people in the world he actually cares about. He is quite wealthy, think millions of dollars. He’s also an incredibly cynical man, divorced my mum, dated a lot of women since and is cynical about relationships, also has friends who are high net worth and through his own life he’s seen that people will do anything for money - kill, marry, divorce and anything in between. He heavily financially supports me, ie has bought me a house that me, DH and DD live in now, gives me thousands of pounds to spend as a wish every year, buys jewellery and expensive gifts, invites me on luxury holidays with my DD (DH often can’t come as he works and has limited leave)
He has never liked a boyfriend of mine, they’ve never been “good enough” to be with his little girl. When I got engaged to DH you could tell he was jealous: I had to get DH to sign a very harsh pre nup, my dad still made comments to me like “you know it’s never too late to change your mind, even the day before the wedding”, “you’re settling” etc (not to DH’s face!). For context my DH is my age, has a decent job in finance, caring, we wanted the same things. We’d been together for 5 years so not a rushed decision. For my dad he isn’t wealthy enough, isn’t smart enough for me, and the main issue is that he will always put himself above me (not proven by any of his actions, just my dads cynical view of humans and marriages)
Recently, i think out of dislike for my DH and fear thqt i divorce and somehow lose assets despite pre-nup, or I'm too soft and give DH money or an expensive present which he runs away with, or I die and my will isnt properly in place so DH gets it then remarried and my DD is deprived, he has decided to leave most of his assets to my DD. Lucky DD except… my concern is that this money falls on a teenager or girl in her early 20s (DF in his early 70s so it wouldn’t be unheard of to pass away in the next 15-20 years). This could prevent her getting an education if she thinks “ah I’ll never need to work” or she gets into drugs if money is no object etc. How do I get this through to my dad? Or how do I stop this happening to my DD? He doesn’t normally take comments regarding finances from me well and is likely to say something like “you just want all cash for yourself” or “my money so I’ll choose what to do with it”. I don’t care about the money, I care about the impact on my daughter’s life!