I’m really disgusted reading through these comments at how many women have experienced sexual harassment in their own homes.
I had a really bad experience with two men who came to fit my sky tv and WiFi in 2011. I lived alone and my house was in a rural location with no nearby neighbours, I should have asked someone to come round so I wasn’t alone but I was quite young and didn’t think of it at the time.
One of the men asked to use my toilet and I didn’t know how to say no, I’m quite a shy person and due to past trauma I’m not comfortable around men I don’t know on my own. He grabbed a newspaper and came out wafting the air with it 15 minutes later and said “I’d give that a miss for a while love, I’ve gone hell for leather on your porcelain, If you’ve got any matches I’ll go in and strike one? I have IBS and my bowels are like a war zone!”
I didn’t have a clue that people strike matches to cover toilet smells so that made it more confusing and scary, I was so disgusted but tried to excuse him in my own head thinking he couldn’t wait to go if he had IBS and might be being over the top to cover his own embarrassment.
One man went outside and the other said he needed to check where the best place was for an Ariel, he was just roaming round the whole flat. I felt awkward following him everywhere so I sat in my living room trying to weigh up what to do. I had no mobile signal at home and that’s why I was getting a landline put in with the sky package.
The guy outside called me out and started telling me random things about sky dishes and I stood and listened politely then realised I’d left the second man in my house alone, I went back inside and found him in my bedroom going through my underwear drawer. He had a pile of my knickers in his hand and holding them up right next to his face, I was so shocked I just froze and didn’t know what to say or do.
He said “Sorry love I was wondering if I could put a wire through the drawer so it’s not trailing”
I just said ok and they both came into the living room to finish off.
They then proceeded to ask lots of personal questions and made disgusting comments to me and each other. One man asked the other “Do you want to go for a pint when we finish or is Cheryl waiting to sit on your face?” I wanted to go to another room but I didn’t feel safe to go further into the flat away from the only exit in the living room. I tried to make as minimal conversation as possible and ignored comments that made me feel desperately uncomfortable and scared.
Shortly after they both told me they couldn’t finish the job because they needed an extra part for the sky plus to work. They left and said they would arrange another visit.
I was so hesitant to report it because of the repercussions so I left it a few days and worried the whole time about them coming back to finish the job. I kept trying to convince myself that they hadn’t really done anything wrong and they might lose their jobs and have a family to support.
After a week I called sky up and asked when someone was coming back to finish fitting the sky plus, the customer service agent had the job down as completed and didn’t know what I was talking about. I told the woman (I still remember her name was Wendy) everything that happened and she laughed and said “oh good one! You just stood there whilst he sniffed your knickers and left it this long to report it?” Faced with that response I booked another appointment for the job to be finished and didn’t push it except saying I wanted different engineers.
A friend was supposed to come and wait with me when the rest of the work was being finished but he couldn’t finish work early to do it so I was alone again.
It was just one man this time and he was in his late 50’s/early 60’s and friendly without being creepy. He looked at it confused and plugged one wire in and said it didn’t need anything else doing and the men fitting it should have known how to put a simple cable in. I was scared because I assumed it was just a ruse for the other men to come back, I started crying and the engineer was so kind I explained what had happened and how scared I was living alone in a remote location.
The engineer said it sounded like they were looking for money or valuables and there why they had split up and called me outside. He said the job should have taken about 45 minutes to an hour but they were in my home for nearly two. He stressed I should send in a written complaint and he would back that up with the fact it was just one cable left unconnected, if not I might have had to pay for the visit as it might not be classed as a fault on their end.
A few weeks after sending the complaint someone from sky called me and again didn’t really take me seriously or sounded like they believed me, I was offered a £25 M&S voucher and 6 months free WiFi. All I was interested in was if the engineers would be disciplined but I was just told there was no proof so they couldn’t do anything. I considered contacting the police but I was worried they would brush it off too so I just left it and tried not to think about it.
Eight years later I was at the same address and was getting sky Q fitted, my partner lived with me and was in bed after a night shift so I wasn’t worried about the engineer visit.
I was politely chatting with the man fitting it and he explained he’d had to drive quite a distance as their were no local engineers, he mentioned how two had been recently been arrested and struck off for inappropriate behaviour. I told him what happened to me and described the men and it sounded like the men who fitted my sky.
After he left I emailed sky and explained how angry I was about not being believed and if they had acted on it then other women wouldn’t have been targeted. This time I got a full apology and a lot more compensation, I was also contacted by the police to give a statement for evidence against the men. The police said as well as sexual harassment and other inappropriate behaviour they had been stealing from customers, never large amounts but money, watchs jewellery etc… people assume they would have lost the items and not suspect professional engineers to behave like that.
Unfortunately I’ve had other bad experiences and most women I know have also been harassed in their own home, most of them experienced victim blaming instead of support which put them off reporting it.
I think you should definitely report this OP (if you have read this far!) maybe you could leave it a few weeks if you are scared of repercussions? You could explain that’s why you have left it so he doesn’t automatically think it’s you. I suspect you won’t be his only victim but that’s another reason to report. I would suggest getting a ring doorbell, you can get one with a voice changer and set it to a man’s voice and pretend there is a man in the house, I’ve just ordered one and it was inexpensive and easy to set up.
I would advise you contact the police as well, I wish I had done it with the sky engineers so it was at least logged down, they might not be able to act on it but it’s worth having it on file.
I’m sorry this happened to you x.