Husband has put an apple airtag in my car!

[ZeeB68]

Don't know if I Abu or not but my husband has gone abroad for 3 weeks for his brothers wedding and left me at home with the kids, our youngest is only 13 weeks old.
He's been gone since Sunday evening and today as I had just arrived back from doing the school run dropping off my older 2 children I had an tracker alert on my phone that says an airtag tracker has been detected and it showed me every where I had been that morning on the map. I was very confused at first as I didn't know what it was as i didnt know what an apple airtag was up until a few days ago, when my husband bought some to put in his suitcases before travelling, I know it 100% in my car, one because it showed everywhere I'd been that morning, and when I pressed " play sound" I could hear it beeping inside the back of my car! He's obviously hidden in it the day before he travelled when he went to fill my car up with petrol before he left.
I'm just so upset and don't know why. Surely if it was for safety with him being away from home he would have told me before putting it in there?
He doesn't know I know, I'm pretty sure he also doesn't know that my phone would detect it and give me an alert. I haven't said anything to him yet, I don't know what to say.
Aibu to think he is spying on me and tracking me or could it really be he's thinking about safety? But then I just think he would have said something. I'm really upset about it all knowing he's hid a tracker in the back of my car.

Message him to tell him youve got a surprise for him.
Fedex it to wherever he is staying.

A - gets the message across that you've found it
B - Will make him shit himself that you're coming to join him.

I'm sorry to say this but your husband is an absolute arse.

Change the WiFi password at home then if he has any cameras or other things like Alexa connected to them they won't work anymore

Do you have a ring or other type of doorbell or security lights outside?

If you change password they won't work either

A woman at the gym last week was saying her son's Alexa was able to listen in to conversations in the house. So she said his wife was able to hear what was being said while she was away from the house -- no idea if this is true or completely gaga but if you have one disconnect it

Or baby monitors connected to the WiFi

Why don't you ask him? To be honest I had thought about getting one for our car after hearing about those 4 lads that died in a car accident in snowdonia, or the youngsters in Cardiff where they lay undiscovered for days. But if I did get one I would tell my husband.

I would post it to the outer Hebrides. See if you can find a chain of mumsnetters willing to receive it and post it on, to confuse the hell out of him. He’ll never be able to confront you about it as then he’d have to admit to tracking you, but you can have a bit of fun with this.

Agreed with others OP, put it on a bus or a train. I would be really considering the future of my relationship if I were you. This is scary.

Why would you go abroad for 3 weeks for a wedding? I can understand wanting to be there, but surely a week at maximum is sufficient, 3 weeks is just a pisstake.

Send it to me. My cousin is going on a two week cruise out of Singapore next week, I'll give it to him to take with him

It’s such a strange thing to do without your knowledge or permission. Talk about overstepping boundaries and invading privacy. Personally I’d give the tracker to someone traveling a lot over the next few weeks or post it to his holiday home. Like you I’d be incredibly upset.

Say nothing and leave it in situ until they day before he comes home and leave it with the solicitor, take photos of it in place. Get all the paperwork you can lay your hands on and apply for passports for all your children. Stash as much money as you can somewhere he can't get hold of it, same as the paperwork. That man is abusing you.

Beat me to it!

I have an AirTag hidden in my car after a friend managed to recover her stolen car with one (thieves had ripped out the main tracking system). Is there any chance it’s this and he’s just failed to tell you?

If not, I’d hit the roof.

Also three weeks is a ridiculous length of time to leave his home based responsibilities

f he just wanted to be sure he had a way to make sure he knew if you broke down or got stuck somewhere in the car, or that the car was stolen or something, surely he would just have put it in the glove compartment or told you he was going to do it. You said it's not in an obvious place, that would suggest it's been hidden, no? Given that, I don't understand why others are advising you to do things that make it obvious you've found it, or to just wait and ask him about it. Both of those actions would give him a chance to do things like clean out your bank accounts if he thinks you will plan to divorce him. Or to prepare a story to cover his tracks.

It seems to me that these 3 weeks, assuming he doesn't know you found it, give you time to evaluate the situation (possibly with professional assistance such as a divorce lawyer, women's aid, etc) and get organized to protect your future in whatever way makes the most sense for your situation.

If this was my husband (who is a decent chap who loves me and I have no reason to disbelieve), I would ask him if he’s put one in my car.

Is your husband a decent chap who loves you? Do you not trust each other? Are you able to just pick up the phone and have a conversation about it?

This. None of the suggestions to relocate it, nor the ones that advise confrontation are safe for you OP. 💐

Wow, just wow. I would leave him. Controlling and very, very sinister.

@ZeeB68 - I'd be concerned that he has also hidden cameras in your home. Perhaps also keystroke trackers on your laptop etc.

Clearly things are not good in your marriage. You need a plan.

I'd also ask for this thread to be deleted - because of the risk of him tracking you. And it's the sort of post that might be picked up by certain media outlets. (You know who I mean...)

I would post it to some really random fake address in Uruguay or Australia....

Possibly an innocent explanation but your reaction suggests he has form.

So in your shoes I'd visit the police (on foot) and ask for help in identifying whether you are being tracked via your phone. Armed with any evidence to support abusive behaviour you can then take steps as to what you want to do about your marriage. Plus, it's on record with the police.

I found this :
”Airtags are tied to your Apple ID.
They can only be set to 1 Apple ID.
To use on multiple devices, you need to be signed into the Apple ID they are tied to.”

Why do people always suggest just asking husbands/partners if they are doing something like this? They just trot out the cover story and then you never really know if it was a lie or not.

As someone said, the key will be if he notices unusual behaviour such as it being turned off, because that means he is checking it and it's not an accident.

He's left you home alone for 3 weeks with a 13 week old baby?? First red flag.

The apple tag...I'd be gone.

I agree.

I think it's got more to do with how close the tag is to you and for how long.

We have one on the dog, and it wasn't until he was around my BIL for a prolonged period of time that he was alerted.