Husband has put an apple airtag in my car!

[ZeeB68]

Don't know if I Abu or not but my husband has gone abroad for 3 weeks for his brothers wedding and left me at home with the kids, our youngest is only 13 weeks old.
He's been gone since Sunday evening and today as I had just arrived back from doing the school run dropping off my older 2 children I had an tracker alert on my phone that says an airtag tracker has been detected and it showed me every where I had been that morning on the map. I was very confused at first as I didn't know what it was as i didnt know what an apple airtag was up until a few days ago, when my husband bought some to put in his suitcases before travelling, I know it 100% in my car, one because it showed everywhere I'd been that morning, and when I pressed " play sound" I could hear it beeping inside the back of my car! He's obviously hidden in it the day before he travelled when he went to fill my car up with petrol before he left.
I'm just so upset and don't know why. Surely if it was for safety with him being away from home he would have told me before putting it in there?
He doesn't know I know, I'm pretty sure he also doesn't know that my phone would detect it and give me an alert. I haven't said anything to him yet, I don't know what to say.
Aibu to think he is spying on me and tracking me or could it really be he's thinking about safety? But then I just think he would have said something. I'm really upset about it all knowing he's hid a tracker in the back of my car.

And this is the Women's Aid link

https://www.womensaid.org.uk

It’s really far more likely, in this scenario, that the OP’s abusive, controlling husband put it there.

@ZeeB68 - are you OK?

@Faye2024 Please could you start your own thread? This is the conversation in response to a particular post. If you head to the home page you'll be able to start one.

I'm working on that and I reported my post to get it deleted. Thank you

The situation is not a joke. Grow up.

Having now read the other thread I’m changing my advice.

GET YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTERS AWAY FROM THIS MAN.

Why risk getting caught doing it when there will be loads of cars like that around? Why would they potentially waste £30 to put a tracker on a getaway car that could travel miles away when again there will be loads of similar cars around? Why bother travelling to the getaway car to getaway? My magpie flying up the exhaust reason sounds more plausible than this 🤣

Do all the intelligent advice from above, police, solicitors, passeports etc and then an implant contraception. You don’t need an child.

Three weeks alone with two kids and a 13 week old would have had me ringing for the lawyers. Do you have other support, or are you on your own all that time?

Does he do other controlling stuff - checking your phone, blocking you from going out etc?

OMG just saw about going to Pakistan.
DO NOT DO THIS. You and your children will be in extreme danger.

An old friend of mine was a custody solicitor who dealt entirely with cases of international kidnapping, usually to Pakistan or the Middle East. It is extremely common for men from these countries to do this, and very very difficult/impossible to get people back.

I would say there's a 99% chance something like this will happen to you/your children if you go there.

More likely they are just not gullible and can't see anyway you can accidentally drop a tracker in someone else's car

You don't have to be gullible @coffeeaddict77 to think that if your partner has put a tracker in your car and not mentioned it, it might be because they forgot. Of course, it might not be that they forgot, and in OP's case, I suspect it isn't because he forgot.

But trusting your partner isn't the same thing as being gullible. Clearly you think it is, and your definition of a 'happy marriage' is one where you will leap to suspicion of your 'trusted' partner, without considering other options. What you're calling a happy marriage, would, for me, not be happy. We're all different, obviously, but don't tar everybody with the same brush. Some people's trust is different to yours, and actually involves trusting.

What the hell does he think you are up to with kids and a newborn? Rave parties, an affair, what? This is insanity.
Unless he thinks you are plotting to leave him and busy finding somewhere else to live while he is gone?

OP, have you friends or family you can stay with until your husband is back in the country?
Leave the car at your house, take the children and any important documents.

I would think they wanted to know where she lived, and not for any good reason, either.

Cannot get over the number of people who would believe their partner would have just "forgot" to tell their other half that they are tracking them 🙄

The very fact that someone would think its ok to just do it is a giant red flag

Yes, you would have to be gullible. Normal people do not put trackers on someone else's property just before they go away for three weeks and just forget to mention it. If they were genuine they would ask in the first place. I don't get how it would help trace a stolen car anyway. Surely car thieves would spot the tracker via their own phones and get rid of it. Also, tracking it wouldn't be much good if you aren't even in the country.

Extremely gullible and probably conditioned by their partner to think it would be fine

Couldn't find 'edit' - YOU NEED TO LEAVE YOUR PHONE AT HOME AS WELL, AND ANYTHING THAT COULD BE TRACKED.

Do not go to Pakistan or let your kids go either.

He's away to Pakistan for 3 weeks.
He's got you tied down with 3 kids, Inc a tiny baby.
He's had you running around daft over his mother - who's only 49 but acts like 94.
My god lots of 49 yos still have primary aged kids.
Then planning a family holiday!

I think hes planning on getting you and kids to Pakistan and you aren't getting them home.
3 weeks is plenty time for him to get a house ready for you all arriving.

Op use your 3 weeks wisely and be careful as he might have applied for Pakistani passports for the kids.

he and all his family are all out there for an "unnecessary" part of the wedding - are you sure it's unnecessary, and not actually important?
i.e. the trip you'll be taking with him might be for ulterior motives?

Do you think he was monitoring if you eg went to a solicitor or police station etc - as opposed to having an affair? i.e. was he already thinking you're going to leave him?

He said he didn't want a third child.
You persuaded him it was a good idea.
When you became pregnant, you regretted it.
His mother came over and was abusive to you and your baby, as were his family.
He didn't stand up for you and was neglectful and emotionally abusive.
He has left you for three weeks with 3 kids (one newborn).
He said if you didn't want him to go, he wouldn't.
You said you didn't want him to go.
He went anyway.

You have told your mum. Do you have other family? Parents? Siblings? Friends?

You have a short but pretty consistent posting history here.
Have any responses to your previous posts helped you at all?
Has this just happened after your most recent pregnancy?

I have a tracker in my car (which I agreed and discussed with my husband ) as there have been a lot of local robberies of the same make as our car in the area . This is so incase our vehicle got stolen the police could track it .
In no way is it ok for someone to put a tracker in your vehicle without your knowledge.
The long absence ,and then a trip away with the kids and you far away, is worrying when you pair it with the tracking .

@coffeeaddict77

You seem to know better than me about what we should all be feeling. Good for you. As I said, I wouldn't be happy living like that, but we're all different. Be as suspicious of your partner as you like, and I'll do the same.

Let's hope, for your sake, that neither you nor your partner accidentally does anything that could be perceived as dodgy. It'll be horrible for you. In my house, it would simply require a quick chat. But yep, your way's best.

Box it up and send it to Taiwan and have it out with him when he's back.