Husband has put an apple airtag in my car!

[ZeeB68]

Don't know if I Abu or not but my husband has gone abroad for 3 weeks for his brothers wedding and left me at home with the kids, our youngest is only 13 weeks old.
He's been gone since Sunday evening and today as I had just arrived back from doing the school run dropping off my older 2 children I had an tracker alert on my phone that says an airtag tracker has been detected and it showed me every where I had been that morning on the map. I was very confused at first as I didn't know what it was as i didnt know what an apple airtag was up until a few days ago, when my husband bought some to put in his suitcases before travelling, I know it 100% in my car, one because it showed everywhere I'd been that morning, and when I pressed " play sound" I could hear it beeping inside the back of my car! He's obviously hidden in it the day before he travelled when he went to fill my car up with petrol before he left.
I'm just so upset and don't know why. Surely if it was for safety with him being away from home he would have told me before putting it in there?
He doesn't know I know, I'm pretty sure he also doesn't know that my phone would detect it and give me an alert. I haven't said anything to him yet, I don't know what to say.
Aibu to think he is spying on me and tracking me or could it really be he's thinking about safety? But then I just think he would have said something. I'm really upset about it all knowing he's hid a tracker in the back of my car.

Just here for the ridiculous "Maybe a magpie stole it and flew into your car through the exhaust and dropped it" excuses. Not disappointed.

Just when I thought the mumsnet bar for men’s behaviour could not get any lower…

So catch him out!

Drive to somewhere unusual and new. Stay there an hour. Then drive home.

When he asks what you did, say you stayed at home all day and see how he reacts.

Aaaaaaand another one…..

To be clear, the OP's situation is serious. But I don't think you can infer that from the OP in this thread alone.

Im going to be clear. If a person is being stalked by their partner it doesn’t matter if there is no back story. It’s serious based on that alone.

My first response about him just forgetting to tell her that he'd fitted one for security, was made before people referenced her other thread, which I hadn't seen.

But even based just on the OP, these jokey posts are entirely inappropriate.

I don't think who people are skeptical have no experience of a trusting relationship at all. More likely they are just not gullible and can't see anyway you can accidentally drop a tracker in someone else's car. Even if the tracker was put there to trace the car if stolen it is very wrong to not ask first if it is someone else's car.

I give up. I don't know why I'm posting anyway. The people coming back with the "have fun" replies blatantly haven't RTFT, and if others want to rant at them as if they have, crack on.

There was enough information in the OP to identify the husband as no good. No decent person puts a tracker in somebody’s car without telling them. It is disgraceful and a dealbreaker.

I can’t believe people are suggesting ridiculous ideas of what to do the tag. The location of the tag is no longer the issue. It is much more serious than ‘let’s post the AirTag round the UK, hee hee’.

People need to stop giving immature advice and look at the serious situation going on.

OP for me, taking the kids passports and leaving them with somebody safe would be a priority. Have you anybody that you can talk to in real life? I want you to have somebody with you to go to a garage and locate the AirTag at least. You need somebody in the know and on your side in real life. Who can that be?

We have an apple air tag for my husband's bicycle suitcase which we use when we fly abroad with the bike. The tag can only be registered on one device at a time, so if it's pinging on your phone, I don't see how it's also pinging on your husband's phone?

The problem is that the way he reacts may be to get in touch with a friend of his who is local, to pour petrol through the letterbox and set fire to it.

No difference to couples who share their location via mobile

Sorry are you saying that’s the same thing as stalking?

In that case each member of the couple is aware and gave permission (one would hope)

Thank god some get it!

Great idea, I mean what could possibly go wrong with winding up a psychopath? It's a fucking great idea.

Do you not think OP would be better off acting normally and then removing the tag and leaving safely with her children.. ..

Or is that not enough sport for you?

This is a persons life, not a fucking scripted soap opera.

An AirTag can only be registered to one Apple ID. So unless the OP and her husband share the same ID, her husband would have to have purposely added her phone details so would know she could see it.

OP is there a reason why you haven't asked him outright why there is a tracker in your car?

It isn't registered to her phone. But her phone has notified her of its presence. That's a security measure that Apple has now built in to protect people in OP's exact position.

For those saying the air tag needs to be registered on the OPs phone - it doesn’t - read this

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2022/sep/05/i-didnt-want-it-anywhere-near-me-how-the-apple-airtag-became-a-gift-to-stalkers

Gosh yes my apologies.

Hire a locker in a different city for a few days and put it there over a weekend

Gosh, I had no idea. Apologies OP. I hope you are able to sort this out.

@ZeeB68 absolutely do not go to or let your husband take your children to Pakistan. From your posts on this site, he sounds abusive. While you're here in the UK, you have options for leaving and getting yourself and your children to safety, but your options drastically reduce if you go abroad. You might go and then be unable to get your children back to the UK.

This is a classic case of Leave The Bastard. And you've got an opportunity here while he's away, to get ready and go. Do not let him have easy access to your children or your children's passports - legal advice and court may help in the longer term.

You need a lawyer, the police, family and the help of domestic abuse charities. Don't do anything that makes your husband think you've found the airtag - get a new phone to use for these things, take taxis for relevant trips, turn off any smart devices in the house (in fact, if you can, turn off the wifi altogether so any hidden devices can't use it).

It is different because OP hasn't shared her location. If your DH hacked into your phone and got it to share your location without asking you or even telling you would you think that okay?