Husband has put an apple airtag in my car!

[ZeeB68]

Don't know if I Abu or not but my husband has gone abroad for 3 weeks for his brothers wedding and left me at home with the kids, our youngest is only 13 weeks old.
He's been gone since Sunday evening and today as I had just arrived back from doing the school run dropping off my older 2 children I had an tracker alert on my phone that says an airtag tracker has been detected and it showed me every where I had been that morning on the map. I was very confused at first as I didn't know what it was as i didnt know what an apple airtag was up until a few days ago, when my husband bought some to put in his suitcases before travelling, I know it 100% in my car, one because it showed everywhere I'd been that morning, and when I pressed " play sound" I could hear it beeping inside the back of my car! He's obviously hidden in it the day before he travelled when he went to fill my car up with petrol before he left.
I'm just so upset and don't know why. Surely if it was for safety with him being away from home he would have told me before putting it in there?
He doesn't know I know, I'm pretty sure he also doesn't know that my phone would detect it and give me an alert. I haven't said anything to him yet, I don't know what to say.
Aibu to think he is spying on me and tracking me or could it really be he's thinking about safety? But then I just think he would have said something. I'm really upset about it all knowing he's hid a tracker in the back of my car.

I cannot believe this. Just dreadful. I would ask friends and family to help me look for the AirTag and get it out. I would then say nothing till his return and confront him.

I absolutely could not live with this man. The selfish man who left me with my newborn baby and tracked me whilst he was away. Absolute dealbreaker.

Seriously?

Go have another read and a good hard think.

Oh god!

Because not everyone believes it’s a backward medieval religion? Because many Muslim men are progressive and good husbands/fathers?

Take it out and leave it on a bus or in a taxi.
See if he mentions it when he gets back.
I have to say though, that my immediate reaction would be to think it had fallen off one of his own bags.

This was my immediate thought! 🤣 and I'm really not that person!!

That would be my first thought too.

It's normal to hide them in cars. Unless you have other reasons to suspect him then I'd assume he forgot to tell you.

He would be really dumb not to know you will know it's there. He will know you have an Apple phone

I'd go to the police station and tell them there's a tracker in your car and you need help finding it.

Did you take him to the airport or drop him off at the start of his journey is there a chance the tag fell off the luggage rather than being deliberately planted?

It wouldn’t be if you read the ops other post. As @MySugarBabyLove summarised on the previous page…
“People need to read the OP’s other thread.
I think messing with his head would give great satisfaction, but he is potentially dangerous.
he forbids the OP’s mum from coming to stay even though he made the OP feel she needed to be grateful that his own mother demanded to be at the birth and she snatched the baby away from OP while she tried to bf.
he calls the OP “English brain” if she has a different opinion.
when they visit Pakistan he shares a bed with his mother. There aren’t enough words to express how fucked up that is.
OP needs to get out of this relationship without playing games, no matter how satisfying it would be to mess with his head.”

Theres also a link on the previous page to said post.

By the time a thread has 560 posts there is a good chance that comments like “it’s probably a genuine mistake”, “ take it to a mechanic” have already been said and it’s frustrating that people don’t bother to read the thread.

Even just read the OP’s posts before commenting?

So you think this is funny? Really?

I’d be tempted to take it down the police station and tell them someone’s tracking your car and you don’t know how it got in there.

It does, I'd check the house for cameras or bugs.

After reading your previous thread, I would locate the AirTag in the car but keep it in the car for the time being so that he didn't know you found it until you know what you want to do.

You can take the time he is away to start getting copies of all important documents, pensions, financial statements. Remove passports and give them to your mum. If you are visiting your mum to give her the documents then remove the AirTag temporarily but put it back in once home until the time you think you might want to leave.

You may decide you don't want to leave (although I would advise against this) but get those copies of documents just in case. Your future self will be glad you did.

Often - the ones who are unnecessarily suspicious of their spouse cheating - with no grounds at all for suspicion are cheating themselves.

I’d be fucking furious.

Cab you drive his car when he’s away and then confront him when he’s back?

I'd be more pissed about the updates & not being able to trace the beeping then that he was what ? Tracking you taking the kids to school/shopping ?!?

I'd order him back early to take it the fuck out or your paying for a mechanic/calling the police to find it & changing the house locks!

Also message his family to tell him he needs to return & what he's done for support

For everyone saying mess with him, leave it somewhere, let it show you places you haven't been... the fact is that the husband is already controlling by leaving the tag in the first place. Would you really want to give him ammunition to use against her by giving him questions to ask? Having been in an abusive relationship where my ex would do things like this it would only have aggravated him more and caused a whole world of literal pain for me.

Having read your other thread (which is horrific!!) i am definitely leaning towards this being controlling and tracking you.

Definitely get your ducks in a row

@coffeeaddict77
I've been happily married for 30 years and I have never had reason to be suspicious of DH. That doesn't mean I wouldn't be if I found something like a tracker in my car because there is no plausible innocent reason for one to be hidden there

That's what I mean. We disagree. If I would suspect my partner so easily, I wouldn't count myself as 'happily married'.

Because the Police have all the time in the world to play daft games.

I can't find it this morning but upthread someone said go to the police station and tell them about this, but without your car or phone. This sounds like really good, safe advice to me.

Drive to various solicitors offices waiting for an hour outside each one, then on to your bank. See how long before he phones to see how you all are.

I imagine if you ask him he'd say that he had a spare tracker so he put it in your car as he thought it ight be useful if it was stolen.