Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband has put an apple airtag in my car!

955 replies

ZeeB68 · 17/01/2024 16:50

Don't know if I Abu or not but my husband has gone abroad for 3 weeks for his brothers wedding and left me at home with the kids, our youngest is only 13 weeks old.
He's been gone since Sunday evening and today as I had just arrived back from doing the school run dropping off my older 2 children I had an tracker alert on my phone that says an airtag tracker has been detected and it showed me every where I had been that morning on the map. I was very confused at first as I didn't know what it was as i didnt know what an apple airtag was up until a few days ago, when my husband bought some to put in his suitcases before travelling, I know it 100% in my car, one because it showed everywhere I'd been that morning, and when I pressed " play sound" I could hear it beeping inside the back of my car! He's obviously hidden in it the day before he travelled when he went to fill my car up with petrol before he left.
I'm just so upset and don't know why. Surely if it was for safety with him being away from home he would have told me before putting it in there?
He doesn't know I know, I'm pretty sure he also doesn't know that my phone would detect it and give me an alert. I haven't said anything to him yet, I don't know what to say.
Aibu to think he is spying on me and tracking me or could it really be he's thinking about safety? But then I just think he would have said something. I'm really upset about it all knowing he's hid a tracker in the back of my car.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
oakleaffy · 18/01/2024 03:09

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

OP may be from same background, culturally?

Fraaahnces · 18/01/2024 03:47

I’d be so tempted to take it to the international airport and find someone going to Australia or New Zealand and tell them that your DH is stalking you, and would they mind taking it with them and then throw it in a bin.

PringPring · 18/01/2024 03:52

Yes going to Pakistan with him and the kids for the actual wedding isn't a wise idea op.

I'd be using the time he's away very proactively personally!

Mummyoflittledragon · 18/01/2024 04:12

oakleaffy · 18/01/2024 03:09

OP may be from same background, culturally?

Show quote history

Op said she reverted, which is kind of the Muslim way of saying converted. So no, not from the culture by the sound of it.

LittleMissSleepyUK · 18/01/2024 04:20

Have you mentioned it to him? I’d be furious

Amybelle88 · 18/01/2024 04:43

Absolute loon ball.

Find it and put it on a bus.

Forgottenmypasswordagain · 18/01/2024 04:49

Take your car to a mechanic to find it then mail it to him.

Pinkbonbon · 18/01/2024 05:03

He's probably over there up to no good.

Cheats are always paranoid you are cheating.

And abusers like to pretend they believe you are cheating so that's a possibility too if he expected you to find the airtag.

I dunno what they look like but is it possible it's UNDER the car, not in the boot?

As pp said I'd be using this time while ge is away productively. Seeing a divorce lawyer, working out my entitlements, getting proof of his income.

I'd also be checking the home for hidden cameras and my devices for spyware.

MySugarBabyLove · 18/01/2024 05:15

I haven’t read your other thread, but there is enough reference to it as well as the existing situation to know what kind of man he is.
Firstly I would disable find my on your phone.
Secondly I would gather all documents, especially the children’s passports, and if the baby doesn’t have one yet I would apply for one before he can.
Then I would hire a car, leave yours on the drive and drive to your mum’s. And once there I would see a solicitor.
You have three weeks. You can achieve a lot in that time, and as he’s abroad and will be powerless to do anything.

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 18/01/2024 05:29

Even if he did it with the best intentions what he's done is completely unacceptable. Is he ever controlling OP? Or do you ever find yourself waking on eggshells or adjusting your behaviour because its easier to do things how he wants. It might shown in little ways or bigs way, you might have noticed because it feels so normal for you.

MySugarBabyLove · 18/01/2024 05:37

I’ve just read your other thread.
your husband is an abusive cunt. And his relationship with his mother is bordering on incestuous.

please get your children away from these people. And I would go so far as looking into limiting access because of the risk of your children being abducted to Pakistan.

Stephenra · 18/01/2024 05:38

Find an address in Mongolia, like an embassy or something, and post it there.

RB68 · 18/01/2024 05:38

I would message him and say some creeper has airtagged you. You know it cant be him so you have reported it to the police as they would have had to access your car somehow. Police have allocated a crime number and are coming out to check the house as they are concerned given you are on your own with a 13 wk old. See what happens

Thirdsummerofourdiscontent · 18/01/2024 05:45

I would assume he is worried you are going to leave him, going abroad for 3 weeks when you have such small children at home is absurd. Especially when there is no way he needed to go for that long or even at all. You asked him not to go but he wouldn’t even compromise on the length of time, he just went and started tracking you. If it was for legitimate reasons like worried about car being stolen he would have told you.

JanglingJack · 18/01/2024 05:50

Put it in a bin lorry and casually tell him the Monday is your kerb crawling day, didn't he know?

MySugarBabyLove · 18/01/2024 05:56

People need to read the OP’s other thread.
I think messing with his head would give great satisfaction, but he is potentially dangerous.
he forbids the OP’s mum from coming to stay even though he made the OP feel she needed to be grateful that his own mother demanded to be at the birth and she snatched the baby away from OP while she tried to bf.
he calls the OP “English brain” if she has a different opinion.
when they visit Pakistan he shares a bed with his mother. There aren’t enough words to express how fucked up that is.
OP needs to get out of this relationship without playing games, no matter how satisfying it would be to mess with his head.

Danfromdownunder · 18/01/2024 06:18

Oh I missed the bit that he climbs into the nest with Mummy. WTF? OP for the sake of your infant children get out of there.

HJ40 · 18/01/2024 06:29

Please can someone link the other thread?

Nonewclothes2024 · 18/01/2024 06:38

andymary · 17/01/2024 16:59

Why not just ask him? He's probably put one in the car for general reasons when he put one in his own suitcase, and just not bothered to tell you. Doesn't mean to say he's spying on you.

What reasons are there to put a tracker on your wife's car ?

SpttyMaldoon · 18/01/2024 07:03

@ZeeB68

im going to play devil’s advocate…

You say he bought 3, could he have bought one of each car and something else and forgot to tell you?

also. The thing is that if he’s done any research, he’ll know that it would come up on your phone (as it has already), so it would have been a short lived way of tracking you.

SpttyMaldoon · 18/01/2024 07:04

@Nonewclothes2024 some people put them in their Cars in case They’re stolen.

user63737383882 · 18/01/2024 07:08

I know of someone arrested and charged for putting a tracker in his wife's car ... it's taken quite seriously by the police.

HmmmIAmPondering · 18/01/2024 07:09

Do you think he thinks you might try and leave him and take the children? He must know he's annoyed you.

OssieShowman · 18/01/2024 07:21

Turn location off on your phone just in case he’s tracking your phone