Husband has put an apple airtag in my car!

[ZeeB68]

Don't know if I Abu or not but my husband has gone abroad for 3 weeks for his brothers wedding and left me at home with the kids, our youngest is only 13 weeks old.
He's been gone since Sunday evening and today as I had just arrived back from doing the school run dropping off my older 2 children I had an tracker alert on my phone that says an airtag tracker has been detected and it showed me every where I had been that morning on the map. I was very confused at first as I didn't know what it was as i didnt know what an apple airtag was up until a few days ago, when my husband bought some to put in his suitcases before travelling, I know it 100% in my car, one because it showed everywhere I'd been that morning, and when I pressed " play sound" I could hear it beeping inside the back of my car! He's obviously hidden in it the day before he travelled when he went to fill my car up with petrol before he left.
I'm just so upset and don't know why. Surely if it was for safety with him being away from home he would have told me before putting it in there?
He doesn't know I know, I'm pretty sure he also doesn't know that my phone would detect it and give me an alert. I haven't said anything to him yet, I don't know what to say.
Aibu to think he is spying on me and tracking me or could it really be he's thinking about safety? But then I just think he would have said something. I'm really upset about it all knowing he's hid a tracker in the back of my car.

RTFT! There is alot wrong with their relationship.

Honestly...
I'd be working out how to best leave him.
@GreyBlackLove has offered some sensible advice on initial steps

The level of disrespect and luck of care is astonishing...

If it suited me I might hang around 12-18m until youngest was bigger but my love for him would be utterly DEAD and so would my marriage.

I also wouldn't tell him about the airtag or do anything with it right now.
You can use it to your advantage / to misdirect him at a later date/when leaving the marriage.

Honestly, from a stereotyped cultural perspective I would be concerned that this trip was your husband getting married, an arranged marriage and he had to go. Especially as he's spending 3 weeks there. I know celebrations can be several days but when you've got a teeny one at home, the decent thing would to attend for the bare minimum. Especially as you've said you didn't really want him to go.

The air tag is so when the shit hits the fan and the truth comes out, he's hoping you don't know about the tag, he can track you and take the kids.

I'm hoping I'm wrong and this is just a conspiracy theory. But I absolutely would be contacting the police with my concerns. They can forensically search cars and find anything.

I agree with a previous poster. I would be very tempted to keep searching and when I'd found it, I would leave it in a really odd.place, or perhaps on a bus, somewhere that is really going to confuse him. I also think that when you feel ready to leave the baby with him you should waltz off for your 3 weeks of child free time.

We have i tags in loads of things (including DD’s dance kit, her school coat and we’ve tagged DS1’s car) I think there’s one in my car too.

DH has a tesla, so I can see in my app where his car is anyway - is there much difference?

Why would you suggest she do this?

The man would probably take the child out of the country, and the OP risks losing her kids altogether.

You’re all aware of it, and agree to it?

You’re not in a controlling relationship?

I mean, there’s just those small differences…

I have to admit that this was one of my first thoughts too, not about the kids but about the marriage especially as the MIL hates the OP

It will be in a glove OP.

Probably wouldn't break it, they're supposed to last 30 mins plus in water.

Open it (it twists) and take the battery out

It’s because it only notifies your phone if you’re in close proximity to it. It does it to all
i phones near a tracker.

They’ve been designed precisely to stop this kind of behaviour.
he obviously doesn’t realise this.

This is really alarming behaviour OP. I’d leave it in place and say nothing until you’ve processed this. Creepy as fuck

Alarmingly this is actually a not crazy suggestiom / beyond the realms of possibility....

I'd def find the airtag and leave it in place that way he thinks he is in control.
And give yourself some time to process all this.

Good luck OP none of this sounds good

Send him a message asking him to fly home quick, cos some mad stalker put an air tag in your car, and naturally you called the police because you have no idea who might have done that, and its scary, so you'd feel safer with him back home.

Ime the most suspicious and paranoid people are those who have a guilty conscience.

If you can hear it in the boot I’d try and look under the car with a torch tomorrow to see if he has taped it under the boot hoping that it wouldn’t alert there.

My friends ex hid a tracker in her car once and we walked round the local playing field in the shape of a cock about 3 times before she returned it to him. He’s now an ex.

Is there anything else your uncomfortable with about his behaviour, does he encourage you to be yourself see friends and do well generally in life? If you have concerns you can get advice from and Independent Domestic Abuse Advisor. Domestic abuse is not about violence its about control making decisions for you and not with you etc.
It may an innocent action but I would as others suggest get your phone checked for tags as otherwise it will be in back of your mind and could undermine you and your relationship in the future

Please be careful OP. This is not normal behaviour. It shows a calculated side to him, and that he is up to something.

please think about your next steps carefully, I wouldn’t tell him yet. I would find the tracker (maybe take the car to a local garage?) but leave it in the car so he doesn’t get suspicious. Keep things as normal as possible with him for now. Don’t listen to PPs who said to mess with him by putting it at a weird location, I don’t think they realise what a dangerous situation this could be. It starts with something small this but often could be part of a pattern of controlling and abusive behaviour.

Call Women’s Aid for advice, and while he is away, get copies of all the finances, take your kids passports etc and place them outside of the home somewhere safe - a friend, or else a storage place where only you know the code.

Be aware there may be hidden cameras, could you try the device that finds them? Be aware he may be tracking other things, maybe take your phone to a shop to scan for spyware.

it sounds paranoid but best case scenario, he was just being over protective and stepped way over the line. Worst case he is a controlling bully. One thing is that you need to avoid him being able to take your kids out of the country if things go badly. I’d seek legal advice on this too, maybe even mention to the police.

you could report this and any other concerning behaviour from him or his family to the police so there is a record on file. They will start to build a picture.

Maybe all the holier than thou posters could remember that not everyone can see the OP's other thread(s).

Oh yeah...you are right ..
.I didn't even think about it....

Who is being holier than thou? Please explain.

And the Advanced Search option is available to everyone, I used it.

Surely safety otherwise he would've ensured you couldn't access it so easily on your phone?

Is this situation funny to you? A woman being subjected to stalking by her husband. People really, really need to think about this before they reply 🤣🤣 to a post like this.

Especially in light of the OP’s other thread.

I don’t know if someone’s already said but in a situation like this where a man is suspicious for no apparent reason it’s often projection. They’re doing or planning to do something wrong so they become hyper aware of their partners actions. Your husband doesn’t sound trustworthy or caring at all.