Husband has put an apple airtag in my car!

[ZeeB68]

Don't know if I Abu or not but my husband has gone abroad for 3 weeks for his brothers wedding and left me at home with the kids, our youngest is only 13 weeks old.
He's been gone since Sunday evening and today as I had just arrived back from doing the school run dropping off my older 2 children I had an tracker alert on my phone that says an airtag tracker has been detected and it showed me every where I had been that morning on the map. I was very confused at first as I didn't know what it was as i didnt know what an apple airtag was up until a few days ago, when my husband bought some to put in his suitcases before travelling, I know it 100% in my car, one because it showed everywhere I'd been that morning, and when I pressed " play sound" I could hear it beeping inside the back of my car! He's obviously hidden in it the day before he travelled when he went to fill my car up with petrol before he left.
I'm just so upset and don't know why. Surely if it was for safety with him being away from home he would have told me before putting it in there?
He doesn't know I know, I'm pretty sure he also doesn't know that my phone would detect it and give me an alert. I haven't said anything to him yet, I don't know what to say.
Aibu to think he is spying on me and tracking me or could it really be he's thinking about safety? But then I just think he would have said something. I'm really upset about it all knowing he's hid a tracker in the back of my car.

DO NOT GO TO PAKISTAN.

This is very very worrying.

Please consider leaving this man. What real life support do you have in terms of family or friends?

Do not go to Pakistan with the children. I would be very very concerned about the children and you being abroad.

Report this to the police and a solicitor.

What a fucking creep.

This will be the tip of the iceberg.

I found a hidden spycam in the shape of a lighter when my daughter was a few weeks old... totally looked and worked like a real lighter but had a tiny camera at the bottom. I found the footage and went down the rabbit hole of a voyeur DH with a SA for prostitutes. You'd have never thought it about him...
.. don't do what I did and spend years on counselling to be happily divorced and single now.. it took a lot from me and ruined my early parenting years.

I hope there is nothing nefarious about what your DH is doing but I would recommend getting an exit plan together now and leaving before he gets home... once someone shows you who they are. Believe them.

Sometimes we are better off on our own.. but only you can decide that for you. Wishing you all the best x

I know people think they are being funny or helpful with suggestions of uber, bus journeys etc but can people stop with that. It’s dangerous and not funny. You don’t know how he will react if he thinks he has caught the op being somewhere he thinks she shouldn’t be.

I know. And he could be getting evidence. He's definitely up to something?

The OP is in a very poor relationship, @Watchkeys!

Put it on a garbage truck

Please take some advice from women’s aid or a solicitor while your husband is away. This is a really worrying thing to do. It can be a sign of much worse to come.
https://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/chester-le-street-savage-jailed-26824339.amp

We also have one in a car in case of theft (a classic of sorts and couldn't easily replace it). We both know it is there and have not tracked it, other than to check it is there. Is there any reason he would want to track the car, e.g. airport parking?

Please be careful Op. Assume the worst and get your ducks in a row in case you need to go fast.

Honestly, I'd leave my husband over this. Find the tracker and post it to me OP. I've got a really busy week ahead of me, out and about, visiting friends, a weekend away etc.

Which would potentially put her at risk.

To add some advice, i'd leave it where it is.. if he gets an inkling you know, he has a lot of time to win you around with lies.. catch him off guard by confronting him to his face will let you see his reaction.

Search the house and make sure nothing else it watching/tracking.. be careful not to get too obsessive with looking as it can ruin your mental health, and make a decision on what you want to do before talking with him. As it will be harder face to face.

Finally, don't cut the world off like I did.. find someone safe to talk to... not his family or shared friends.. find online support with strangers if you have no one else (i did) as it will help you process this and decide what you want to do.

And now we can all see what a stupid suggestion that is, because they chirp every time they're moved if they're not within range of the device they're paired with.

I think OP's husband would have figured that out by now too, if he's had his phone off or out of bluetooth range of his suitcases.

Worth repeating. Do not let your children out of the country, even if you are with them. You need to use these three weeks to plan your new life away from him.

Op, I presume you have tried something like what is shown on the above link already

Is your husband very controlling

I would make a huge effort to find that AirTag - someone else with the same car as you commented about where it could be hidden in the boot.
Find it and take the battery out.
That’s the short term concern.
Long term IMO you should think about leaving him when you are able to and never allow your kids to be taken to Pakistan. Sorry 😔

OP having worked in domestic abuse especially with Black and brown women, if you pm me you're whereabouts I can direct to tailored specialist support for your cultural/ethnic background.

Is he controlling in other ways? Is he happy for you to see family/friends without him being there? Do you have to account to him for money you spend?

Maybe take the car to a car wash tomorrow and get them to find it. It may be under the spare wheel. The car valet guys will help you to lift everything out for a nice tip. Then I’d take the AirTag home and leave it in the house for 3 weeks while you look for anything else that is suspicious.

Find it, then strap it to a cat's collar.

Of what? He's away for another 2 weeks. The controlling wanker will out himself way before he gets home.

And when he gets home?

Ducks can be put in their rows before then. What difference would it make if she confronted him when he was actually back home? How would that be better?

I do wonder if this might be the case. People are going wild over you finding a tracker, maybe get more info first before you go nuclear!

Having said that it sounds like your pp suggests it's unlikely to be innocent.