Husband has put an apple airtag in my car!

[ZeeB68]

Don't know if I Abu or not but my husband has gone abroad for 3 weeks for his brothers wedding and left me at home with the kids, our youngest is only 13 weeks old.
He's been gone since Sunday evening and today as I had just arrived back from doing the school run dropping off my older 2 children I had an tracker alert on my phone that says an airtag tracker has been detected and it showed me every where I had been that morning on the map. I was very confused at first as I didn't know what it was as i didnt know what an apple airtag was up until a few days ago, when my husband bought some to put in his suitcases before travelling, I know it 100% in my car, one because it showed everywhere I'd been that morning, and when I pressed " play sound" I could hear it beeping inside the back of my car! He's obviously hidden in it the day before he travelled when he went to fill my car up with petrol before he left.
I'm just so upset and don't know why. Surely if it was for safety with him being away from home he would have told me before putting it in there?
He doesn't know I know, I'm pretty sure he also doesn't know that my phone would detect it and give me an alert. I haven't said anything to him yet, I don't know what to say.
Aibu to think he is spying on me and tracking me or could it really be he's thinking about safety? But then I just think he would have said something. I'm really upset about it all knowing he's hid a tracker in the back of my car.

This thread is such a mess.
Most posters are well meaning but have not read her previous thread.
Her life is a total train wreck...

I have a nissan juke, there's annother layer under the seccond layer carpet that has tire fixing stuff, try in there, there's enough space within it to fit an air tag, I keep a few spare carrier bags in mine to keep them from beeing messy in the boot

When you find it get a bus one stop and stuff it down that seat. Might teach him a lesson.

I’d go to the police. They’d be able to find it in your car and help you. Not meaning to freak you out, because it’s obvious that it’s going to be your husband, but what if it wasn’t him to put it there? I’d go to the police assuming you don’t know who it is, and then you have legal back up if you need proof of your husband’s behaviour in the future.

OP- Whilst he is out of the country, I would be making plans to get the the hell out of this relationship! Oh ,and put your childrens passports in a safe place.

Sorry if already suggested but have you checked under the fuel cap?!

How do you read the previous post? Maybe some posters dont know how to? (Me!)

Oh just seen that you are supposed to all be going to Pakistan in a couple of months.....PLEASE do not go out there with the kids. There is literally nothing to stop him refusing to allow you to bring them home. This ramping up of his behaviour is very very scary, I agree that perhaps it is time to speak to the police and a solicitor, this is very serious.

The fact you're even getting out the house with two kids and tiny baby is impressive. Well done! The fact hest obviously "suspicious" of you when you're only just out of the fourth trimester is ridiculous and is perhaps indicative of how involved he is in caring for you postpartum and caring for his kids more generally. Can you already tell I'm angry on your behalf?I
'd be absolutely furious if my husband had decided to fuck off abroad for three weeks while I was left alone with the kids so soon after giving birth.
I'd struggle to forgive him if that trip wasn't "essential" and IMO the legal bit of his brother's wedding isn't essential (as you've said the main part of the celebration is in the spring).
Half my DH's family live in NZ, half of mine are scattered across Europe so I know what it's like when family are overseas.
What's your husband like generally? Does he have form for being suspicious? Are you suspicious of him? Is your marriage a generally good one? Does he pull his weight with the kids? Is there anything that's happened recently that might have caused him concern/generally upset the balance?
I thought you might say you drive a very high end motor - or even just a new, ordinary, car - in which case I could understand him airtagging your car in case it got pinched. But a 10-year-old Nissan Juke doesn't really fit that bill (no offence - my car is far, far, shitter).
If it were my husband pulling this shit on me, I'd confront him with it the second he came in the door. Even if he can find a decent "excuse" it would take me a long time to trust him again. He sounds like a tit.

@ZZeeB68 just reading other MN posters on this thread

Some of the MNetters are suggesting you are not legally married as far as UK law goes - is this correct?

If so, is there any chance if you are taking the children abroad to where he has family - that there could be a custody problem getting them back to the UK after the wedding

If he and his family decide they should stay in Pakistan

Some other posters are talking about his crazy mother does she live here or in Pakistan?

I don't know about these things only what I have seen on TV drama, so I have no idea if these sort of things actually happen in RL

If this is so then I would seriously think again about agreeing for the children to leave the UK

Hopefully they are all UK passport holders and so will travel on UK passports with you registered as their mother

Because he doesn't trust you. The question is do you want to be with a man who doesn't trust you?

I've been happily married for 30 years and I have never had reason to be suspicious of DH. That doesn't mean I wouldn't be if I found something like a tracker in my car because there is no plausible innocent reason for one to be hidden there.

I’d be furious. How dare he when he’s left you literally holding the baby. I would absolutely want him to know I know. Send him a text saying ‘why have you left an Apple AirTag in my car?’ and let him come up with some feeble excuse.

I would keep searching and remove it. I had the same with my phone once when I could hear it but couldn’t locate it. If you can’t find it I’d have him wondering by varying your routine.

https://www.idownloadblog.com/2021/05/12/airtag-tracking-tutorial/

this gives information on how to stop an unwanted AirTag tracking you

This

I would also be consulting a solicitor though. It would be the end for me.

I would take the car and go park at a random address somewhere for as long as possible, record yourself why there explaining that you know and this is proof. wait for him to have to ask you questions about your location. Go to same location every few days 😅 then dump his ass for being a wierdo

Chuck it in the back of an international HGV and mute your phone for 3 weeks.

If you find the apple tag, you can take the battery out of it! Just unscrew the front bit, it just needs twisting and pop out the battery.

I would find the tag and give it to an uber driver. That should give your husband something to think about .

This love it he will have to come clean quickly!

Reading your other threads … this is not good.
Do not go to Pakistan.

Put it in someone else’s car , Someone he doesnt know- He will be baffled and it would be funny, he would never be able to work it out

Google some random address in Bangkok, like a hotel or something. Pop it in an envelope and send it there. Let the underhand devious arsehole have a bit of a think :)

Fucking hell. I remember that MIL thread.

Horrified. OP, you have to leave these awful, abusive people. My god.

Seek legal advice.

Without your consent, this indicates a lack of respect and is a red flag. Please consider what else may not be quite right, as I doubt he's done this out of the blue.

I wouldn't touch the tracker until I'd spoken to a sol.

On its own, it's stalking. Decent cops will tell you it can easily escalate to controlling behaviour so I'd be using his time away to see a sol, make some decisions and put some contingency in place.