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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband has put an apple airtag in my car!

955 replies

ZeeB68 · 17/01/2024 16:50

Don't know if I Abu or not but my husband has gone abroad for 3 weeks for his brothers wedding and left me at home with the kids, our youngest is only 13 weeks old.
He's been gone since Sunday evening and today as I had just arrived back from doing the school run dropping off my older 2 children I had an tracker alert on my phone that says an airtag tracker has been detected and it showed me every where I had been that morning on the map. I was very confused at first as I didn't know what it was as i didnt know what an apple airtag was up until a few days ago, when my husband bought some to put in his suitcases before travelling, I know it 100% in my car, one because it showed everywhere I'd been that morning, and when I pressed " play sound" I could hear it beeping inside the back of my car! He's obviously hidden in it the day before he travelled when he went to fill my car up with petrol before he left.
I'm just so upset and don't know why. Surely if it was for safety with him being away from home he would have told me before putting it in there?
He doesn't know I know, I'm pretty sure he also doesn't know that my phone would detect it and give me an alert. I haven't said anything to him yet, I don't know what to say.
Aibu to think he is spying on me and tracking me or could it really be he's thinking about safety? But then I just think he would have said something. I'm really upset about it all knowing he's hid a tracker in the back of my car.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
theconfidenceofwho · 17/01/2024 20:18

OhwhyOY · 17/01/2024 19:52

Maybe he's worried you will leave him. Which I'd certainly be thinking strongly about doing with him behaving so disgustingly selfishly. Even if he 'had' to go could he not have gone for 3 or 4 days instead of 3 weeks? Honestly OP this isn't good enough. You know that. Do you have family you could go and stay with to help you?

Absolutely this!

hotdiggetydog · 17/01/2024 20:18

What have you got to hide?

Nicknacky · 17/01/2024 20:19

hotdiggetydog · 17/01/2024 20:18

What have you got to hide?

What on earth do you mean by this?

Dotchange · 17/01/2024 20:19

Twazique · 17/01/2024 20:03

I would ask the police for help finding it, get it recorded with them.

No- don’t waste police time.

Watchkeys · 17/01/2024 20:20

@coffeeaddict77

You would have to be very gullible to have total trust in someone despite finding a tracker in your car

I think you'd have to be in a very poor relationship to jump to the conclusion that your spouse was up to no good just because you found a tracker.

We'll have to agree to differ, but I don't envy your relationship!

roarrfeckingroar · 17/01/2024 20:22

I would be tempted to put it on a long distance train and mess with him.

Before divorcing the bastard for being a disrespectful, unreliable, untrustworthy and sinister POS.

Chestnutsroastgreen · 17/01/2024 20:24

Can you drive his car? I assume he has not taken it for 3 weeks to the airport?

HJ40 · 17/01/2024 20:27

Well whatever is going on, particularly as he's had to suddenly go out there for three weeks, I'd be thinking twice about taking the kids to Pakistan.

Redlarge · 17/01/2024 20:28

Idratherbepaddleboarding · 17/01/2024 17:08

This is a criminal offence, so you could report him to the police. I’d also be checking your home for secret cameras and recording devices.

Don’t put it on some random car, but do have some fun driving to random places that would wind him up or you couldn’t get in trouble for accidentally leaving it on a bus…

Its not. Its been done to me. Police did nothing.

Id drive to the nearest police station though and put the tag there.... let him squirm .... even if the police dont care... he might think they will.

Maybe drive to a local sex club a few times first though.

lazyarse123 · 17/01/2024 20:29

There are no good reasons for him to do this. If there were innocent reasons it wouldn't need to be hidden.
I think I'd tell the cheeky bastard not to bother coming home after all he thinks you can cope on your own so what actual use is he?

Zanatdy · 17/01/2024 20:29

You should tell him someone must be following you as you’ve had some odd notification and you’re going to contact the police in the morning to report. See what his reaction is (do it on video camera). Say you’re really worried for your safety

EveryOtherNameTaken · 17/01/2024 20:30

Keep going and parking outside an expensive shop or your local train station.

Fuck his head in. Will he ask why you're doing it or have to admit his paranoia?

Take a selfie every time just waving at the camera (with your baby) so you can throw it back at him saying you knew what he did.

And say you did the same to him .....

His actions are hurtful.

REignbow · 17/01/2024 20:31

I would look again for it in the morning and when found I’d keep it in the house.

l assume he has an iPhone also?

l have an iPhone and use find my iphone, to track where ALL my phones/devices are if I’ve misplaced them. What I am saying is that he’ll be using this feature to track you.

It was not done by accident. The AirTag has been well hidden.

If he has done this, what would stop him putting spyware on your phone?

I would be telling my friends and family about this.

strawberryswizzler · 17/01/2024 20:32

Do you know where he is? Post it back to him.

NursieBirder · 17/01/2024 20:32

Is it possible he just thought it would be a good use of a ‘spare’ air tag in case the car was ever stolen? Of course he should have discussed it with you ….

he also should have realised that if an AirTag is travelling with you and is not registered to you it will let you know …,,

Paininthederriere · 17/01/2024 20:33

Now that he's broken trust by doing this it begs the question if this is defensive practice. ie indicative of him being untrustworthy/ unfaithful in general??

Sorry OP now that he's done this all kind of doubts creep in. Like realistically how on earth could you possibly be cheating when you're stuck with a newborn & your other kids alone while he jollies off on holiday/wedding?

Wld make me feel like he's untrustworthy /a cheater himself & is only suspicious of you bcos of how he operates.

Or more sinisterly he knows there's no way you cld/wld be cheating but he just wants to now what your movements are while he's away which is horrible.

To give him some benefit of the doubt it's possible he got carried away with the air tags & acted without thinking it through & the temptation to snoop was just too easy? Bit like new tech being too easy to abuse, availability of porn online etc - all these things do facilitate I think & make this kind of thing too easy.

ScruffMuffin · 17/01/2024 20:34

He sounds awful. If you're able to find it and you don't feel that he's unsafe, add me to the list of people who's happy to host it for a day or two and then send it on!

Crepid · 17/01/2024 20:34

BeeCucumber · 17/01/2024 16:56

I would put it in bucket of water for 20 minutes and then put it in the recycling. Check for hidden cameras in your home - you can buy a detector from Amazon. Get legal advice.

I mean she could just take the battery out 😂

SayNoToDoorToDoor · 17/01/2024 20:38

Is it on the underside of the car or in the wheel arches instead of in the boot?

I’d be livid if someone did that to me without talking to me about it first.

I hope you’re taking some money to spend on yourself ( or save in your own account) given the amount he’s taken out of the finances.

Snowdogsmitten · 17/01/2024 20:38

I’m appalled by this thread.

OP, I hope you leave the fucking selfish cunt. I cannot believe you’re worried that you’re being selfish.

He’s left you with a newborn and helped himself to 2.5k for SPENDING MONEY! He’s a piece of shit.

And he’s a stalker.

thisbetheverse · 17/01/2024 20:39

I hope this is not the case for you but I had an ex who was very suspicious of me and had been logging into my emails (denied it at first!)… it turned out HE was the one who had been cheating. Obviously this might not have anything to do with it in your situation but just wanted to share my experience.

PaminaMozart · 17/01/2024 20:42

HJ40 · 17/01/2024 20:27

Well whatever is going on, particularly as he's had to suddenly go out there for three weeks, I'd be thinking twice about taking the kids to Pakistan.

Absolutely this. WRIT LARGE !

@ZeeB68 - when are you going to wake up and ACT ?

YuleDragon · 17/01/2024 20:43

i would actually message him in a 'panic' telling him that your phone has detected a tracker on the car, and that you're going to go and report it to the police because obviously someone is planning to either steal your car, or follow you home and burgle the house.

That would be my immediate assumption on finding one mysteriously IN my car that my H hadn't told me about.. i'd assume he didnt know about it.

And then i'd actually do just that.. go to the police.

Ulysees · 17/01/2024 20:43

I couldn't be with someone like this. It's dreadful all round.

justasking111 · 17/01/2024 20:43

Someone here took her car to a garage. They found it for her. Im thinking quikfit