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AIBU?

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Original poster

Husband has put an apple airtag in my car!

955 replies

ZeeB68 · 17/01/2024 16:50

Don't know if I Abu or not but my husband has gone abroad for 3 weeks for his brothers wedding and left me at home with the kids, our youngest is only 13 weeks old.
He's been gone since Sunday evening and today as I had just arrived back from doing the school run dropping off my older 2 children I had an tracker alert on my phone that says an airtag tracker has been detected and it showed me every where I had been that morning on the map. I was very confused at first as I didn't know what it was as i didnt know what an apple airtag was up until a few days ago, when my husband bought some to put in his suitcases before travelling, I know it 100% in my car, one because it showed everywhere I'd been that morning, and when I pressed " play sound" I could hear it beeping inside the back of my car! He's obviously hidden in it the day before he travelled when he went to fill my car up with petrol before he left.
I'm just so upset and don't know why. Surely if it was for safety with him being away from home he would have told me before putting it in there?
He doesn't know I know, I'm pretty sure he also doesn't know that my phone would detect it and give me an alert. I haven't said anything to him yet, I don't know what to say.
Aibu to think he is spying on me and tracking me or could it really be he's thinking about safety? But then I just think he would have said something. I'm really upset about it all knowing he's hid a tracker in the back of my car.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
Lakelandmumofthree · 17/01/2024 19:57

My husband and I have trackers on each others phones so we know where the other one is, he has a cuppa ready for me when I'm nearly home, it's fab! I'm not doing anything I'd mind him knowing. I would have thought he's hidden the tracker in case the car gets stolen and forgotten to tell you, makes sense to me. Just ask him.

Codlingmoths · 17/01/2024 20:01

I think his going now means if you don’t want to go in April with the kids you don’t. You are completely in your rights to say fuck you we aren’t going.
im not sure what to suggest about the AirTag. It’s a very bad sign about the relationship. Do you have a job to return to? Family who would support? I guess where I’m getting at is he doesn’t seem to care about you or the dc much but feels like he owns you, so it doesn’t seem like he’s someone you should keep around.

Twazique · 17/01/2024 20:03

I would ask the police for help finding it, get it recorded with them.

Dappy55 · 17/01/2024 20:04

Please tell me you have found this tracker. I would be absolutely raging and probably sell the car if I couldn't find it. That'd teach him. Seriously though it is a disgrace, I know someone whose husband got the inlaws to 'keep an eye' when he was abroad and it is basically the same thing.

LaurieStrode · 17/01/2024 20:04

Iknowtheyareusefulstorage · 17/01/2024 19:44

My ExH put a tracker in my car. He gave himself away by asking odd questions - e.g, I was going to the shops but parked up for half an hour to phone a friend first, and got a message asking me how the traffic was in 'XYZ town'.

When I found it I was livid and quite frightened. He justified it by saying he was concerned that I had been under a lot of strain and he wanted to quietly make sure I was safe without upsetting me further!

He pretended to be other people on social media sites to try and trick me into saying things too.

Long story, but the words 'ExH' may give a clue to the ending.

No real advice, apart from remaining calm and logical.

What a horrible person he must be. I'm glad you got away from him, @Iknowtheyareusefulstorage

coffeeaddict77 · 17/01/2024 20:05

Lakelandmumofthree · 17/01/2024 19:57

My husband and I have trackers on each others phones so we know where the other one is, he has a cuppa ready for me when I'm nearly home, it's fab! I'm not doing anything I'd mind him knowing. I would have thought he's hidden the tracker in case the car gets stolen and forgotten to tell you, makes sense to me. Just ask him.

Unless they were stupid, I think someone having an affair would probably use a different phone that wasn't tracked if they were going somewhere they didn't want their partner to know about.

BananaOrangeApple · 17/01/2024 20:06

Maybe he’s suspicious of you because of his own actions….id be very suspicious of him from now on. I’d also mention it to him straight away and I’d even think about not letting him back in the house when he comes back.

OneMoreTime23 · 17/01/2024 20:06

Find a route that spells out “you dick” and drive it tomorrow whilst baby is napping.

Thatbloodyhedge · 17/01/2024 20:06

Get independent advice to find it them post it to deepest darkest
Peru

WonderingAboutThus · 17/01/2024 20:07

That you would presume him spying on you, is distressing all by itself. I would think of a million unlikely scenarios before "my husband is a creep who would utterly invade my privacy for absolutely no conceivable reason" would occur to me.

By which I am not saying you are wrong. At all. But even if the airtag thingie were innocent, what the hell is going on in your relationship that your head goes there as a first guess.

Lovingitallnow · 17/01/2024 20:07

I can see my husband doing this innocently because we bought a pack of 4 and he had 3 in his suit cases and one left over and it's a great idea if you were to forget where you parked the car etc but it would be in the centre console. You wouldn't hide it unless it's a secret from the person driving the car.

Tuelanak · 17/01/2024 20:08

strawberryandtomato · 17/01/2024 16:56

Don't tell him. Put it in someone else's car. Let your husband work that one out.
I would be raging.

😂😂😂

Please do this, OP

Lovingitallnow · 17/01/2024 20:08

@WonderingAboutThus what's going on in their marriage is he's shagged off on holidays for three weeks leaving her with a newborn and the rest of the kids.

Nicknacky · 17/01/2024 20:09

Tuelanak · 17/01/2024 20:08

😂😂😂

Please do this, OP

Show quote history

Why is that so funny? Has it not occurred to you that it could place her in danger?

coffeeaddict77 · 17/01/2024 20:10

Lovingitallnow · 17/01/2024 20:07

I can see my husband doing this innocently because we bought a pack of 4 and he had 3 in his suit cases and one left over and it's a great idea if you were to forget where you parked the car etc but it would be in the centre console. You wouldn't hide it unless it's a secret from the person driving the car.

Exactly and importantly he should ask first and not just drop it there and accidentally forget to mention it. It's not even his car.

NoBinturongsHereMate · 17/01/2024 20:10

Do not play games with it.

Do not dispose of it.

Do not mention it to him. Or any of his friends or family.

If you find it, take photos but do not touch it.

Go to the police and report it - not in your car, and not with your phone.

Kit60 · 17/01/2024 20:11

Op, if it was about the car and your safety, he’d have likely come home with it and excitedly shown you its features. Sorry to be negative but I hope I’m wrong.

PaminaMozart · 17/01/2024 20:13

@ZeeB68 - you know that your current preoccupation with this tracker device is a side issue. You have posted about your horrible husband and his controlling mother before. And you are not actually legally married, IIRC?

I cannot recall the details of your previous thread, but I think you got some good advice. What is stopping you from taking steps to leave? This is no marriage, and you know this is not going to get any better.

I urge you to contact Women's Aid. And do the Freedom Programme.

Abbimae · 17/01/2024 20:14

taped into wheel arch? Engine bay? Tucked down a seat?

FitAt50 · 17/01/2024 20:14

Surely you can just ask him about it? Maybe it fell out of his suitcase.

RetirementIsGreat · 17/01/2024 20:14

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 17/01/2024 19:30

Yes but surely he'd tell you about it so you can track your own car too

Show quote history

How can I read OPs other post?

Whatwouldnanado · 17/01/2024 20:15

Did you object to him going to the wedding? Or did he steam roller you into the situation? Seems such a long time and horrible thing for him to do. I would FaceTime him ASAPand ask about the tag. Are you worried about confronting him?

Abbimae · 17/01/2024 20:16

Are you sure he put the tracker on your car OP? If it’s just a detector could be anyone who attached it!

WonderingAboutThus · 17/01/2024 20:16

Lovingitallnow · 17/01/2024 20:08

@WonderingAboutThus what's going on in their marriage is he's shagged off on holidays for three weeks leaving her with a newborn and the rest of the kids.

Yes, I read the posts - my point is that the airtag is a violation, but clearly not the first indication he's out of his gourd. Otherwise why would THAT be her first thought.

The newborn thing could also otherwise depend. I have happily spent long spells caring for our newborns and toddlers while husband went off for various reasons, including frivolous ones. Not a sign of a bad relationship - in our case.

ContraflowSystem · 17/01/2024 20:17

Are you sure it’s not attached to the underneath of the car?