Husband has put an apple airtag in my car!

[ZeeB68]

Don't know if I Abu or not but my husband has gone abroad for 3 weeks for his brothers wedding and left me at home with the kids, our youngest is only 13 weeks old.
He's been gone since Sunday evening and today as I had just arrived back from doing the school run dropping off my older 2 children I had an tracker alert on my phone that says an airtag tracker has been detected and it showed me every where I had been that morning on the map. I was very confused at first as I didn't know what it was as i didnt know what an apple airtag was up until a few days ago, when my husband bought some to put in his suitcases before travelling, I know it 100% in my car, one because it showed everywhere I'd been that morning, and when I pressed " play sound" I could hear it beeping inside the back of my car! He's obviously hidden in it the day before he travelled when he went to fill my car up with petrol before he left.
I'm just so upset and don't know why. Surely if it was for safety with him being away from home he would have told me before putting it in there?
He doesn't know I know, I'm pretty sure he also doesn't know that my phone would detect it and give me an alert. I haven't said anything to him yet, I don't know what to say.
Aibu to think he is spying on me and tracking me or could it really be he's thinking about safety? But then I just think he would have said something. I'm really upset about it all knowing he's hid a tracker in the back of my car.

Others on MN always go straight to the advice, I'm always more interested in the reason.

Yes, this is wrong, but it's the why...

Have you given him reason to think you were being unfaithful?
Have you ever been?

...and as most people have said, people tens to assume others are like them... do you have reason to believe he has been unfaithful?

@coffeeaddict77

Yes, exactly. He would obviously give a logical, sensible reason, whether he's guilty of wrongdoing or not. Maybe he was tracking the car, maybe he didn't know he'd dropped the tag. The only reason there's no point in asking is because op already doesn't trust him. That's why she came here.

Do you have nearby family or friends who can support you, or even offer you refuge/a place to take the kids?

You don't want to live the rest of your life like a piece of property, do you?

What will it teach him?

OP what ages are your kids ? Has he got you stuck at home with tiny kids constantly pregnant it with a baby.
Another tact abusers use .

Are you able to get yourself sorted to leave in the future. ?
Use the next three weeks to compose yourself and make your plans and use the support here to keep you strong

The first thing I thought that he's a complete selfish bellend for fucking off for THREE WEEKS to a wedding when you have a baby and older dc. WTF?? I'd be raging at him for that - and so disappointed in him.

Discovering a tracker would be the last fucking straw.

I hope you're ok and have some RL support, op? 💐

I’m appalled he’s gone for 3 weeks, that must be costing a bloody fortune! And he’s left you with a tiny baby plus other kids and is stalking you? What the actual? I hope you find the tag and give it to a long distance lorry driver! What a twat.

You have to pair the device to your phone so who paired it?

Ok let's presume it's for your safety....

I'd say nothing and have some serious fun with this.. 😂😂. If you have an outside cat, pop it on the collar, or even better a friend who either goes out a lot in the evenings, or drives a taxi?

Then see if he brings it up.

Leave it outside a divorce lawyers office?

Not beyond the realms of possibility that he left it by accident or fell off his case is it? If not, ask him about it

A lesson. Hopefully he'll be so wound up, he'll have a crap time.

Well OP, your relationship is over.

Lots of posters having fun at your expense, suggesting silly things to do with the AirTag - hopefully at least they find it amusing.

I’d remove it and put it in the house. That will prompt him to raise it, and confirm that (not ‘if’) he has planted it with nefarious purposes.

In the meantime, get your affairs in order and meet with a solicitor.

OP I've just read your other post. I think you need to get out. ASAP.

Yes but surely he'd tell you about it so you can track your own car too

Omg I did this to my husband by accident. Sort of.

Bought two tile tags to put in our cars in case they got stolen, but as DH was in the process of buying a new car, I left 'his' in the drawer.

Few months later, he had the new car. When I came across the tile in the drawer one day I just put it under the seat meaning to tell him I'd done it.
A week later he asked why there was a tile tag under his seat.

I know it's slightly different as my tile purchases were open & transparent, also very coincidental that he does it just before going away... but there's a slim possibility he just thought it was a good security measure.

I don’t think it does have to be paired any more.

Phones now just pick them up - pp have outlined way, as they’re a stalking risk if people don’t realise they’re possibly being tracked. They make an audible noise on close-by devices, which alert people to their presence.

Better still, actually consult a divorce lawyer to discuss your options, and take it with you.

Personally I would be looking at getting a second phone to use for anything other than contacting him/his family if you can afford it.

I paid about £10.00 for my spare non-smartphone, I can do phone banking on it in lieu. Sorted. If you need to get a new bank account, use a bank that also has a branch near you so you can do anything in person that you can't do without a phone - they can help you in branch if another department needs calling (I know this because a relative of mine needs some help for disability reasons). You might need this at some point. Also try to pick a bank that has long hours for phone banking, a few are still 24/7, this gives you the most flexibility if needing to ring them when your husband isn't around.

I searched your other posts after seeing some comments and I'm really concerned for you OP.

I know on your other thread you said divorce was a last resort, but tracking you without your knowledge is an escalation and it is abuse. I really think you need to consider your options and come to the realisation that this is not a good or healthy relationship.

I did think about the possibility of it falling our his suitcase, but I've just tried to find it now.
I can hear it beeping when I press play sound.
I have a 2013 Nissan juke so not anything special or expensive it's an old car! Plus if it was about being stolen my husband would have said something surely.

Basically I've just tried to find it listening to the beeping noise,
If you know Nissan jukes you know they have like 2 layers in the boot, it's definitely in the boot, not on the upper layer so it's not just from it falling out of his suitcase!
I emptied everything to get into the under layer of the boot and I can hear it beeping so close to me yet I was looking for 40 minutes and can't find it, so it has been well and truly hidden not fell out!! I still haven't managed to find it so he's hidden it very well, it can't be that we'll hidden just from falling out a suitcase.
Plus as I've said Nissan jukes have 2 layers to the boot, if it had fell out his suitcase it would have stayed on the top layer,not been very well hidden inside the bottom layer where I can't even find it even though I can hear it!

I am concerned that doing any of these 'funny' suggestions, such as leaving it at home, dropping it down a drain, or parking at a Travelodge, to alert him to the fact she has found it or otherwise wind him up, are going to put OP at risk, or at a disadvantage at the very leasst. She needs to get her ducks in a row and get legal advice without him suspecting she knows it is there.

I'm in!!!

Are people actually advising op to do this 'teach him a lesson' stuff? There's a lot of kids on here!

There was a feature on them on Radio 2 a couple of weeks ago, when someone recommended you hide them in your car, as:

(a) if the thief has an iPhone they will be notified the car is being tracked and will dump it, and

(b) whether or not they have an iPhone it will enable you or the police to locate the car.

But you have to hide it well so the thief can't find it and throw it away.

He may have heard that and be doing it for security.

He really, really should have told you though.