To think we need to find a way to infiltrate the dog cult?

[dogsdilemma]

I'll start by saying I favour cats but love all animals. I don't want a dog just now because I find them tying. Would date someone who had one because, contrary to what I'm about to say, I like them and it wouldn't be my responsibility.

But the obsession drives me nuts. It seems no one can own a dog in a normal way anymore. As in I have a dog, the dog is a pet not a person, dogs aren't god-like solve all creatures, it's fine if not everyone loves my dog as much as me - like I am with my cat.

Someone gets a puppy and I go to their house - all conversation is about the puppy and I'm expected to fuss like they've just given birth. I can't say 'ah I've actually come to catch up with my friend, not have endless chat about the puppy's sleep schedule and whether or not it shat in the house today' because their dogs are their babies, so I should treat them as such.

Instagram accounts for dogs - captions written like 'my mum took me for a walk today, I had so much fun'. Only mildly cringy but wtf? Are you a springer spaniel mother or Katie from uni?

I do an exercise class and the owner has a puppy. She brings him along so he's not home alone. At least 15 minutes of the session I've paid for is always taken up by the hive mind fussing the puppy. Everyone loves dogs so no one minds apparently - except I DO mind. If I say this though I'm gonna be the dick.

I'm OLD, and every other profile says 'must love dogs'. I do love them but don't want one, and if I say this it's like I've confessed to being Hitler in a past life. Cue messages trying to change my mind, as though not being obsessed with dogs is a moral failure. I love my cat but wouldn't rule out someone who doesn't feel the same?

The final nail in the coffin. I've been dating someone new. Had an absolute shitter of a week so far - nothing he can help with, not really serious, just work stuff. His response is 15 pictures of his dog being cute to cheer me up. He's just trying to be nice but I do not get it. I wouldn't expect pictures of my cat to cheer anyone up except, maybe, me. I'm being narky but I actually found it so so irritating and cannot even fake enthusiasm to reply. If I say 'awwww cute, thank you' he'll continue with this approach. If I say 'cute but why would your dog cheer me up ha' I'm gonna look like a knob.

I have no problem with others doing what they want to do but recently it is infiltrating everything. I know there are worse issues but ffs it's so annoying - what is this dog cult and how to we stop it? Can I tell this lovely man I'm dating that I actually have little interest in his dog?!?!?

I feel this way about cats and cat people OP. I had the reverse experience in OLD (I am male) where seemingly every single profile had a cat-based user name and went on about their cats.

Completely agree with you. As a cat person though (who likes dogs just fine) I would say that mad cat people are possibly even worse? Like calling the RSPCA / emergency scanning team for a poor starving lost cat (walking around like cats do and asking for food like cats do).

er, and out with the torches and pitchforks on facebook if a cat is sadly run over.

Sounds great. I'd never date anyone who wasn't an animal lover. At least the profiles are honest.

I love how @StopTheBusINeedAWeeWeeAWeeWeeBagOChips proved your point for you immediately. I was just thinking you might have been exaggerating a little for comedic effect, but no... you really should change your activities, friends and even your boyfriend in order not to bother the dog cult. Madness.

Try googling dog free cafe

So it's reasonable of op to go to friends houses who have puppies, go to a class she knows a puppy will be, date a guy who openly loves his dog, swipe on guys who make it clear their dogs are important to them, then complain that there are too many dogs around everywhere 🤣 she literally makes the active choice to be around dogs, but wants the owners to accommodate her desire not to be around them.

And that's the issue - dogs have become this massive deal in recent years, akin to human babies
Again, because that's the new normality and if you don't agree with it, well.....that's a bit tough.

We all thrown upon things that is part of our normal culture/generation/customs. We're allowed not to like it, but we've got to accept we have to live with it.

Right. It's like moving to Afghanistan and complaining they're building a mosque at the end of the street.

Imagine how the balloon would go up if there were regular threads about mad child owners though.

Nobody wants to see your baby photos, they all look like Winston Churchill.

No, we dont want to hold it. Thanks for bringing it into the workplace like it's a Nobel prize winning achievement but all your colleagues really care about is when they can stop feigning fascination and when they can stop carrying your workload.

Nobody gives a shit about the unidentifiable primary coloured glob of shite on A4 that has been created at school. It looks exactly like every single other unidentifiable primary coloured glob of shite that every child has turned out since poster paint was invented.

Nobody gives a fuck about their first day back at school, and no, a photo of them dressed in their uniform is of absolutely zero interest to anybody on social media, and nobody cares that "your heart is breaking while waving them off"

Nobody wants to hear the little darlings shrieking like somebody has set them on fire in cafes, restaurants, parks, museums, shops, beaches, pools, or in any holiday resort ever. EVER.

Neither do they want to endure the candle snot, spittle, and sticky hands that were no less than 2 minutes ago firmly lodged in DCs arse crack.

Yes, all the other passengers on the plane hate you.

At least 30% of friends put you on a mute or filter until you're able to discuss anything other than the trials and delights of parenting.

Suspect that your friends have got a separate WhatsApp chat thread that excludes you? See above.

Finally, listing your job title as "mummy to" gives everyone the boak infinitely more effectively than downing 23 consecutive pints of snakebite and black.

Me neither. I’d never take a dog with the runs into a cafe.

No, she doesn't make an active choice, @stopthebusImatwat. Read her posts again if you truly don't get that.

I can't double quote but I would love to see where I said I didn't want to be around dogs at all - I won't have, because it's not true. I'm around my parents' dogs all the time.

I just don't want my exercise class which I pay for to be derailed by dogs, my conversation with friends completely dominated by dogs, friends dogs literally jumping all over me ruining my clothes, and to have people I'm trying to date constantly seeing me as some sort of freak because I don't want a dog!

So the solution is to leave the exercise class (rather than a dog just not being there overstimulated, bored, making the place unhygienic, taking up students' expensive class time), stop going to see long term friends (instead of them having a bit of awareness that others are prob not that arsed about their pet and don't want it licking their face), and never date someone who has a dog (instead of them understanding that someone can like and be around dogs just fine, without having to have their life consumed by them). Aye alright

I agree OP. Unlike you though I dislike dogs. I also feel frustrated by the illogical and disjointed narrative around keeping pets and particularly dogs. Owning a dog doesn't make you an animal lover - it makes you a dog owner. I care about animals so I would never own one. I certainly wouldn't ever have a pet because pets destroy wild animals and their habitats. However people who do this destructive and selfish thing of owning a dog are seen as loving animals.

Also, most people are not at all set up for dog ownership. They don't have enough space or time or resources to be able to keep a dog in an appropriate way. In that circumstance, owning a dog is not a loving act.

It's all arse about tit.

But @verv, we're on Mumsnet, not Dogsnet. So was that wall of text really relevant?

My mother calls my two the grand-dogs!

I take your point but 2 things:

1. This is a parenting website not a dogging one (tee hee) so people would be annoyed yes. I wouldn't go on a dog owners website to say how annoying dog owners are.
2. We've all been children so there's a bit of you that still thinks of yourself as a kid when you do proud parenting. Not so with dogs.

I didn’t like dogs when I was younger. I have one now and I’m obsessed with him. I’m well aware my obsession is ridiculous so I keep it away from other people. I do put the odd photo of him on FB (I have a lot of dog-loving friends) but very rarely, and I don’t bang on about him to other people. Despite being obsessed with my dog, I’m not particularly interested in other people’s dogs and I don’t understand why some shops now allow them in.

All of the above I would also apply to children though. I’m not hugely interested in updates or photos of other people’s children (unless perhaps it’s someone I’m very close to). I have a distant in-law who sends me photos and videos of her kids fairly regularly. They’re smashing kids and I enjoy their company when I see them in person, I also really like the parents. But am just not very interested in seeing lots of photos.

It isn't reasonable to expect others, who are perfectly happy with their interests and arrangements, to change around your preference.

Agree 100% with poster, all got a bit out of hand.

Oh god yes.

My in-laws have joined the cult!!!!!!

Whenever they visit they must bring the dog. We get told in great detail about his sleep habits, food habits and bowel movements. We must admire him every time he lifts a paw.

He is a nice dog. Not a bother. Plays with the kids (they get told off for tiring him out!) and then goes to sleep for a bit. Just a normal dog.....

I cannot take it anymore!!!!!

If only they showed the same level of attention to their son and grandchildren.

It appears that Mumsnet is aware that some people have pets. Hell, they may even have pets but no children.

The relevance is understanding that we don't all value the same things, and we don't form attachments to the same things.
Dog tribe bores are no more boring than child tribe bores.

There are threads like this on MN all the time though. With people disagreeing about how annoying kids / their parents are, just like on this thread. Dog owners really aren't a massively disadvantaged group who are disproportionately criticised more than any others (except on this thread, because it is about dogs)

Ugh yes, this.

I'm easy going, it doesn't bother me one bit, l love all animals. I would much rather see a pampered dog than some of the poor neglected ones abroad who are treated cruelly.
You want to be glad you live in the UK because in the USA there are people walking around in shops with crocodiles, alligators and all kinds of exotic pets on a lease under the guise of a therapy pet.