To think we need to find a way to infiltrate the dog cult?

[dogsdilemma]

I'll start by saying I favour cats but love all animals. I don't want a dog just now because I find them tying. Would date someone who had one because, contrary to what I'm about to say, I like them and it wouldn't be my responsibility.

But the obsession drives me nuts. It seems no one can own a dog in a normal way anymore. As in I have a dog, the dog is a pet not a person, dogs aren't god-like solve all creatures, it's fine if not everyone loves my dog as much as me - like I am with my cat.

Someone gets a puppy and I go to their house - all conversation is about the puppy and I'm expected to fuss like they've just given birth. I can't say 'ah I've actually come to catch up with my friend, not have endless chat about the puppy's sleep schedule and whether or not it shat in the house today' because their dogs are their babies, so I should treat them as such.

Instagram accounts for dogs - captions written like 'my mum took me for a walk today, I had so much fun'. Only mildly cringy but wtf? Are you a springer spaniel mother or Katie from uni?

I do an exercise class and the owner has a puppy. She brings him along so he's not home alone. At least 15 minutes of the session I've paid for is always taken up by the hive mind fussing the puppy. Everyone loves dogs so no one minds apparently - except I DO mind. If I say this though I'm gonna be the dick.

I'm OLD, and every other profile says 'must love dogs'. I do love them but don't want one, and if I say this it's like I've confessed to being Hitler in a past life. Cue messages trying to change my mind, as though not being obsessed with dogs is a moral failure. I love my cat but wouldn't rule out someone who doesn't feel the same?

The final nail in the coffin. I've been dating someone new. Had an absolute shitter of a week so far - nothing he can help with, not really serious, just work stuff. His response is 15 pictures of his dog being cute to cheer me up. He's just trying to be nice but I do not get it. I wouldn't expect pictures of my cat to cheer anyone up except, maybe, me. I'm being narky but I actually found it so so irritating and cannot even fake enthusiasm to reply. If I say 'awwww cute, thank you' he'll continue with this approach. If I say 'cute but why would your dog cheer me up ha' I'm gonna look like a knob.

I have no problem with others doing what they want to do but recently it is infiltrating everything. I know there are worse issues but ffs it's so annoying - what is this dog cult and how to we stop it? Can I tell this lovely man I'm dating that I actually have little interest in his dog?!?!?

Haha I have a dog (and two cats) and I love them but I don't disagree. I do like to see people take dog ownership seriously since it's so unregulated and lots of people have traditionally treated dogs like toys/accessories and not done the research on how to care for them properly. But I'm not sure the people treating them like emotionally easier stand-ins for children and friends are much better tbh. They're dogs - they need caring for like dogs, not people, to thrive.

Join the growing #dogfree movement

OP hope you're not planning on going to South Korea any time soon. Their birthrate is through the floor and apparently couples have taken to getting small dogs as substitutes. They push them in buggies, buy them clothes, take them to classes etc. If you think the cult here is bad, remember it could get worse

I'm firmly in Camp Cat, but then I don't take my cat to pubs, restaurants, hotels or other people's houses.

The thing is though I'm not anti dogs. I like dogs. I enjoy spending time around them when they're dogs - not when they become all consuming, all people talk about, god-like, in spaces that IMO should only really be for people.

But this is invariably the response I get when I say I don't get the die hard stance - not saying you were directing at me specifically, but this is my experience in real life.
It seems like there can only be 'obsessed' or 'hate dogs' - no in between. And then I get judged for it

God, my parents have started this! Last time they visited, with the dog, we had to look at photos of the dog - it's RIGHT THERE!! I like dogs, but this one's a nightmare - completely untrained, but can do no wrong in their eyes. Best moment was when DS fell over and cried, so the dog got given treats and fuss because it didn't like the noise..

And then they eat them. 😱

YANBU. Also why do they need to be free on pathways to jump up at random strangers? If you can't control your dog it needs to be on a lead. Even if it's small and white. And no matter how many photos you have of it looking adorable, smiling in its sleep, or captioned with words like "doggo" or "my hooman".

I agree. We have dogs. They are our working dogs and are DOGS, not mini people. Actually I find it very demeaning to call them that, there is nothing wrong with them being dogs! If I hear or see the term 'furbaby' it makes me want to heave.

I love dogs and have one. I agree it's a little cringy when they are treated like children. But I honestly couldn't get worked up about it. In the scheme of things there's worse things to get annoyed about.

I totally get you.
I think dogs are a positive addition to the world. I love the sight of an ecstatic dog on a beach. I think people who say all dogs should be muzzled or on leads all the time in public are bonkers.
But they’re not THAT interesting and it’s ridiculous that people think everyone should love their dog and be happy with it jumping up because it’s only being friendly.

I can understand loving your dog, I can absolutely understand that if you have a dog you have to be responsible about it. What I can't understand is people who allow their lives to be ruled and severely limited by their dog (or indeed any other pet) - e.g. the stories on here about people who insist on taking their dog with them when visiting friends and relatives, or who don't and won't understand why other people don't want the dog around small children etc. Get things into proportion, FFS.

I read a guardian article on this recently. I’m not sure it does them any good to project onto and anthropomorphise them and its more for our benefit than theirs.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/dec/25/britain-dog-lovers-animals-neglect

This!!! It’s the entitlement and the idea that dogs should be allowed everywhere that I just can’t be on board with. I don’t want them in a restaurant whilst I’m eating or on a bed or a chair that I’m going to sit on. Nope.

lol is your friend my sister? She's just got a dog and oh my God, I don't think she was so fussy and particular about her newborn babies. I've been treated to daily texts about the dogs sleep schedule... I don't care! I don't even like dogs! I'm considering texting her my cats sleep schedule in reply to the next one.

I can’t get on board with what you are saying but then again I am a dog person 😀

Treat it like a filtering system for dating. Would this person want the dog to attend our wedding wearing a bow tie? If so, this is not going to work out.

(I love my dog but he is not my child and nobody who shits in the garden gets a wedding invite, in my book.)

I love my cat but wouldn't rule out someone who doesn't feel the same?

It probably makes me unreasonable, but I definitely would! In my experience, cats seem to trigger a hatred in some people, which dogs rarely do, even in exclusively cat people. I’m definitely a cat person, but I’m, at worst, ambivalent about dogs. I’ve heard some awful, vehement dislike of cats expressed from some people who seem to regard them as akin to vermin.

I don't have any pets but I find that cat people wang on about their moggies far more. 'My cat is my benevolent overlord tee hee hee' 'It's my cat's home and I just live in it'

Zzzzzzz.

I think anyone who goes on that much about anything lacks a bit of self awareness, whether it’s a child, pet or hobby.

You need to be aware when you’re boring people and that not everyone is as enamoured with whatever it is are you are. It’s not great social skills to bang on and on.

My dog is a dog, I would never consider her my “fur-baby”, she’s a dog. She is not allowed upstairs or on beds/furniture, has no social media, gets no human food treats, is not taken with me to other people’s houses and is always put in a different room immediately if we have visitors at front door (brought back out if visitor happy with that, but expected to behave impeccably). She is very loved by us, but we don’t feel the need to prove that to the world - she knows it.

@dogsdilemma

It seems like there can only be 'obsessed' or 'hate dogs' - no in between. And then I get judged for it

This is exactly it: there's no middle ground any more. I completely agree with you.

I actually quite like dogs (though I wouldn't get one mainly because I don't have time). But you're right that everyone seems to have to be at one end of the spectrum or the other. It's no longer possible to be mildly positive but fairly disinterested about them or find them irritating but tolerable. You either have to have your life consumed by them, to the point that you can't talk about anything else, or you have to absolutely hate them and spend your life bitching about them.

To be fair I find the hate for dogs cult as disturbing as the "fur babies" stuff: threads and threads about how people avoid certain parks because of a small risk of a dog jumping up on them. It's so melodramatic and fastidious. Unless you live next to an XL Bully it's perfectly possible to avoid dogs. I find both the wildly exaggerated love and the hate absolutely mystifying. Dogs are animals. Take them or leave them but stop boring the pants off everyone else talking about them.

People anthropomorphising their pets is always tedious and a bit pathetic. It doesn't really matter what species it is. It's just childish.

I was like that until I got mine but without the social media postings. Never ever used the term furbaby though 🤢

We lost our boy in 2020 but I am now a Borrow my Doggy borrower. Love seeing all the dogs in the park.

I've had dogs all my adult life. They're my dogs, not my children, nor my fur babies. They're not my life nor my reason for existing or define me. Current dog goes out for walks but I wouldn't dream of taking her out with me in the evening to a friend's for dinner for example.
I don't take photos, I've got no need to, she's with me daily and no one else wants or needs to see photos of my dog.
I love her as I would love any dog who lived within my home for any length of time, but I don't love her as much as my children, Grandchild or parents.
When my favourite dog ever died a couple of years ago, I was so terribly sad and I did cry for some weeks on and off. But the pain subsided, as pain tends to do and was not like the bereavement of a family member.
YANBU OP and what a refreshing thread

I love dogs but I hate dog owners.

I don't understand how they can be so inconsiderate. Took my daughter out for breakfast last weekend. Couple with a large dog sat next to us. They were feeding it herring snacks (which stank). Plus do dogs need constant snacks? They allowed their dog to bother us for our food - it rested its head on our table and panted and drooled when our food arrived. Disgusting. I asked if they could please move their dog away. "Oh a bit of Nutella won't hurt her". Was tempted to reply that it probably wouldn't be good for her, but just said "please move your dog as we can't eat like this". Grrrrrr