To think we need to find a way to infiltrate the dog cult?

[dogsdilemma]

I'll start by saying I favour cats but love all animals. I don't want a dog just now because I find them tying. Would date someone who had one because, contrary to what I'm about to say, I like them and it wouldn't be my responsibility.

But the obsession drives me nuts. It seems no one can own a dog in a normal way anymore. As in I have a dog, the dog is a pet not a person, dogs aren't god-like solve all creatures, it's fine if not everyone loves my dog as much as me - like I am with my cat.

Someone gets a puppy and I go to their house - all conversation is about the puppy and I'm expected to fuss like they've just given birth. I can't say 'ah I've actually come to catch up with my friend, not have endless chat about the puppy's sleep schedule and whether or not it shat in the house today' because their dogs are their babies, so I should treat them as such.

Instagram accounts for dogs - captions written like 'my mum took me for a walk today, I had so much fun'. Only mildly cringy but wtf? Are you a springer spaniel mother or Katie from uni?

I do an exercise class and the owner has a puppy. She brings him along so he's not home alone. At least 15 minutes of the session I've paid for is always taken up by the hive mind fussing the puppy. Everyone loves dogs so no one minds apparently - except I DO mind. If I say this though I'm gonna be the dick.

I'm OLD, and every other profile says 'must love dogs'. I do love them but don't want one, and if I say this it's like I've confessed to being Hitler in a past life. Cue messages trying to change my mind, as though not being obsessed with dogs is a moral failure. I love my cat but wouldn't rule out someone who doesn't feel the same?

The final nail in the coffin. I've been dating someone new. Had an absolute shitter of a week so far - nothing he can help with, not really serious, just work stuff. His response is 15 pictures of his dog being cute to cheer me up. He's just trying to be nice but I do not get it. I wouldn't expect pictures of my cat to cheer anyone up except, maybe, me. I'm being narky but I actually found it so so irritating and cannot even fake enthusiasm to reply. If I say 'awwww cute, thank you' he'll continue with this approach. If I say 'cute but why would your dog cheer me up ha' I'm gonna look like a knob.

I have no problem with others doing what they want to do but recently it is infiltrating everything. I know there are worse issues but ffs it's so annoying - what is this dog cult and how to we stop it? Can I tell this lovely man I'm dating that I actually have little interest in his dog?!?!?

Just like parents say to people who don’t want kids “oh but it’s different when they’re your own!”

I love my dog, let him sit on my lap and call him my baby. BUT - he can be a PITA yappy little thing and I would never inflict him on anyone else! We tried taking him out with us when we first had him - but gave up due to the combination of the stress for him and the constant barking in the car for us, not to mention having to sit outside the pub in the cold and feed him half my dinner to keep him quiet ! He stays happily at home for a few hours and with my son or kennels for longer periods.

My cats are my fur babies

I’m online dating and for me if they don’t love dogs then it is a deal breaker, so might as well be upfront about it. I have 2 large dogs, if a date comes round to my house and dogs make them uncomfortable then the relationship has no future. It’s not like having other friends to visit where you can pop them in the garden for the duration. What happens if and when they want to live together and they can’t stand dogs? Of course you are upfront about it

No, they’re not 🤦‍♀️ They’re just animals.

I’d rather hear about other people’s dogs than about their kids!

Several people have proved your point nicely!

Does everyone that goes to an adult only night, show, resort hate children? Or do we just accept that some things are better in peace and/or not suited to children?

I hate dogs in cafes. Well not all dogs. The kind that know they are dogs and lie quietly under the table are not a problem. The ones being lifted up to the table or allowed to run round my table are not. The problem is more if the second kind are becoming the norm.

It is because they are owned by people whose version of training them is for the world to revolve around them so they are never left and have zero recall.

I have owned dogs but it doesn't mean I want to stay in accommodation where everyone else has had theirs and it smells of dog.

So OP I hear you and I'm with you.

The basic thing that bugs me with the Furbaby brigade is that it's boring at best and at worst REALLY BAD FOR THE DOG. I've only skimmed the thread but we've had:

• puppy in exercise class while owner 'teaches'. Quite likely to be rattled by 15 minutes of a dozen strangers poking at her, or at best wildly overexcited and learning nothing.
• a dog in a pub being allowed to beg for NUTELLA at neighbouring tables. Even if there isn't enough cocoa powder in there to cause a significant stomach upset the amount of sugar and fat is not great
• someone insisting that they must be allowed to get a dog in their no-garden flat.

The Guardian piece @CharlotteLightandDark linked to is bang on the money. Poor bloody dogs really lose out when we forget that they are dogs, not children, not toys...

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/dec/25/britain-dog-lovers-animals-neglect

This is grim, and also inadvisable. There are cases when the dog has been dreaming, and has lashed out at the owner sleeping next to them and badly injured them. Small breeds, too, not only dogs that people assume will be more agressive.

I think you're wise to be upfront about it in the OLD context.

Out of curiosity, how would you feel about a person who is kinda meh on dogs. Doesn't hate them but wouldn't necessarily get one for themselves?

I am asking for a friend.......

Just be honest so he can find a fellow dog-loving person, and you don't have to feel victimised by some .jpg files on a chat app.🤷🏻‍♀️

Agree with you fully.

I can't bear the dog cult either and we have a dog! She is very much just a dog but loved too. She is not one of our children but she is valued and well cared for. I'm made to feel like an inadequate owner because she's not allowed to sleep in our bed/on the sofa or doesn't have a birthday cake/advent calendar, lol! Drives me nuts too OP!

I love both dogs and cats, have 2 dogs but would like a cat. Don't think the dogs would like it if I did. My dogs are dogs not fur babies or my kids, they don't to to café shops or any any public places, go for walks and that's it.

I have not once felt like a victim of anything. It was annoying, stacked on top of all the other stuff.

Do you not think that would be crazy though? Him looking for someone else, when we share similar hobbies, goals, passions, world views, find the same things funny, are both attracted to one another..... just because I like, but am not obsessed with dogs? And I have little interest in seeing photos of a dog that I have never met, especially as a way to 'cheer me up'? he's entitled to do whatever he wants of course but it's the mindset that I find strange

Im not sure how much OLD you have done lately but I'm going to avoid all the men who wax lyrical about dogs that's a lot of men! I'm not sure when it crept in but they're in droves

Even worse Fur grand babies 😧

I’d be absolutely fine with it. Provided they were aware that if/when things got serious things with my dogs aren’t changing- i.e I’m not going to start shutting my dogs out of the living room in the evening if they don’t like being around them. I remember one post on here where a new boyfriend had wanted the dogs to be moved from the room they were sleeping in to give his kids their own bedroom - even if they weren’t living there and I don’t think the new GF had even approved him moving in let alone the kids!!!

To be fair though my dogs are pretty well mannered, if you ignore them they’ll ignore you, they won’t come to the table when you are eating etc. they are allowed on one of the sofas to cuddle, but completely not the other one, so if I or guests are on the posh sofa they know to leave well alone.

Great thread OP. I absolutely agree with you about the dog cult, and pets being treated like babies, and being an animal lover being treated as some kind of moral position. I really like dogs, but have no interest in owning one because of the work involved. Cats - just no. So I'm not really an animal lover in general. I can't imagine what I would think if I was offloading to my new bloke about a shitty work week and he sent me photos of his dog to 'cheer me up' 🙄 I would be concerned that he's not capable of operating on any other emotional level than that, and I'm not sure I would be able to tolerate it

I know that no one really gives a shit about my DP, so I rarely mention him to friends or colleagues, and certainly don't bang on about him all the time. It would be grateful if people had the same realization about their kids and pets 😁

The exercise teacher who brings her puppy to class needs to have a serious word with herself

There's an easy way to infiltrate the Cult of Canine. Just get a dog.

ONE OF US
ONE OF US
ONE OF US

😆

If you think dog owners are bad you should check out horse owners…

You said upthread you were meh about dogs, not that you like dogs.

You wouldn't complain about dog pics if you did.

Liking dog pics would also not make you obsessed with dogs.

Your whole way of talking makes it clear it does bother you I think you're wasting your own time probably. Because he will always love his dog at least as much as he might come to love you. Which sounds bonkers but that is my experience of doggy people.

Yup, I hear you! I grew up with dogs and didn't have a problem at all...

Until I got myself a son with ASD and an irrational fear of dogs. OMG it's literally the only phobia where if you ask really nicely if someone could not let their dog, lick, sniff or generally just not touch your child the response is akin to suggesting human sacrifice!

Nope, your dog does not love my child, it's not fucking ok and yes I do have a problem. Also, don't try to argue or rationalise, when I have just told you it's irrational.

Ugh, love your fur baby any which way you want....but please remember we don't have to love it.

This cult sounds tempting.

We dote on our cat, but he's clearly using us for food and shelter. He's very good at manipulating people (rolling, chirruping, snuggling etc).

I agree OP

I'm a dog owner and I love him but he's my pet. He's not a fur baby and I'm not his mama, I'm his owner. There is simply no comparison between him and my children and anyone who suggests they should be treated equally is batshit quite frankly.