To think we need to find a way to infiltrate the dog cult?

[dogsdilemma]

I'll start by saying I favour cats but love all animals. I don't want a dog just now because I find them tying. Would date someone who had one because, contrary to what I'm about to say, I like them and it wouldn't be my responsibility.

But the obsession drives me nuts. It seems no one can own a dog in a normal way anymore. As in I have a dog, the dog is a pet not a person, dogs aren't god-like solve all creatures, it's fine if not everyone loves my dog as much as me - like I am with my cat.

Someone gets a puppy and I go to their house - all conversation is about the puppy and I'm expected to fuss like they've just given birth. I can't say 'ah I've actually come to catch up with my friend, not have endless chat about the puppy's sleep schedule and whether or not it shat in the house today' because their dogs are their babies, so I should treat them as such.

Instagram accounts for dogs - captions written like 'my mum took me for a walk today, I had so much fun'. Only mildly cringy but wtf? Are you a springer spaniel mother or Katie from uni?

I do an exercise class and the owner has a puppy. She brings him along so he's not home alone. At least 15 minutes of the session I've paid for is always taken up by the hive mind fussing the puppy. Everyone loves dogs so no one minds apparently - except I DO mind. If I say this though I'm gonna be the dick.

I'm OLD, and every other profile says 'must love dogs'. I do love them but don't want one, and if I say this it's like I've confessed to being Hitler in a past life. Cue messages trying to change my mind, as though not being obsessed with dogs is a moral failure. I love my cat but wouldn't rule out someone who doesn't feel the same?

The final nail in the coffin. I've been dating someone new. Had an absolute shitter of a week so far - nothing he can help with, not really serious, just work stuff. His response is 15 pictures of his dog being cute to cheer me up. He's just trying to be nice but I do not get it. I wouldn't expect pictures of my cat to cheer anyone up except, maybe, me. I'm being narky but I actually found it so so irritating and cannot even fake enthusiasm to reply. If I say 'awwww cute, thank you' he'll continue with this approach. If I say 'cute but why would your dog cheer me up ha' I'm gonna look like a knob.

I have no problem with others doing what they want to do but recently it is infiltrating everything. I know there are worse issues but ffs it's so annoying - what is this dog cult and how to we stop it? Can I tell this lovely man I'm dating that I actually have little interest in his dog?!?!?

How dare you tell anybody, but especially a bereaved parent like the PP, how they should feel about anything?

What on earth do you think gives you that right?

I didn’t say it was equivalent, I defend the right of anyone to hold their own opinion, no matter how you might feel about that.

No. They have it different as it is their loss, not mine... just like my loss wont be theirs. When my dog dies, I wont even be thinking about people who have lost babies. Why would I? What help would that do?

Stop making out that some of us are playing some sort of Death Top Trumps. The only one comparing is you.

See, people like you ARE the reason children get hurt by dogs. Someone is not an apologist for saying that children need to be taught how to behave around dogs, it's necessary to keep people safe. I understand people not liking pets (though I tend to stay away from such people) but some of these comments sound like no common sense is being used.

Excuse me, how it is it my fault? It’s 100% on the owners. Your thinking is akin to blaming victims of sexual assault because they were walking in the wrong place or wearing the wrong thing. It’s victim blaming, and it’s disgusting.

Just get a dog and join the cult.

You'll be happier than you sound now.

Totally agree with this. Children do need to learn how to behave around dogs.

As a dog owner nothing riles me up more than children running up to him and trying to cuddle him/stroke him/pick him up. With parent saying oh they love dogs. What happened to asking an owner if it's ok to do any of this with the dog be it kids or adults?

A small child approached my sleeping dog in a cafe, and went to bash her around the head with a toy. Thankfully, the mum stopped her... but if the kid had hit my dog, and my dog had snapped at her... it would have been my fault?

Teach your kids not to approach strange dogs. They should always ask permission from the owner if they want to stroke the dog. My dog gets a lot of fuss as in this cold weather, she is wearing lots of cute coats and she looks very cosy. Kids ask to stroke her, and that is fine and is absolutely what parents should be teaching their kids.

Yes, a lot of kids get bitten by the family dog and that is the fault of the parent/owner for letting their kid climb over the dog for a photo opportunity. Dogs give off lots of warning signs before they snap or bite.

It’s not a binary situation.

The dog owner is entirely responsible for the control of their dog.

The child’s parent / guardian / handler should be responsible for teaching the child not to put themselves in danger by approaching a strange dog without permission.

It’s not rocket science.

It’s pretty much the same idea as road safety. The driver has a responsibility to drive safely and not injure pedestrians. Pedestrians have a responsibility (to themselves) not to jump into traffic unpredictably or wander along in the fast lane of a motorway.

The Mum was right to step in, but if the dog had attacked the child because of it then of course it would be your fault as you’re responsible for that dog. Why would you even question that? Children shouldn’t play with matches either but someone left them out for them to play with and they caused a fire, then that would be the fault of the person who left them out.

I'm not "afflicted" by anything. You may not like the fact but as I said it has been studied and proven through functional brain imaging. Studies have also found children having stronger bonds with their pets than their siblings. You say it's a cult but that most dog owners belong to it? Maybe you will realise then that it is normal, probably always been the case but just talked about more now.

Can you link to the study? I’m completely doubtful of what you’re saying because most children have gotten over the death of a pet within a week.

How do you train a dog not to react in self defence if they are attacked when sleeping?

It seems dogs are not allowed to show they are not happy in a situation anymore. If a dog growls, it is deemed aggressive. They are either expected to be robots or just giddy and happy all the time.

If my dog is not happy in a situation, take her elsewhere. If she is sleeping, she is literally not giving off any warning signs.

Yes absolutely. Here are a couple for you, but if you Google you will find plenty more.
https://www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/pets-are-a-childs-best-friend-not-their-siblings

https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2014/10/mothers-brains-show-similar-responses-to-her-baby-and-her-dog/

If that’s a genuine question, then perhaps dogs ought to not be in spaces where there are children or at least where the opportunity for kids to provoke them.

I certainly didn't get over the loss of my childhood pet cat when I was 7. I fell into a deep depression and needed psychiatric help to cope with it. We were raised with pets as our siblings, losing them was the worst pain imaginable and some of the comments are are utterly cold and callous. Not everyone is the same and that's totally fine. People need to accept others for how they are, even if their brains are wired differently. That's how I live and it works well.

Thanks - not reading tonight but I will have a read as I’m genuinely curious.

The fact that there are so many abandoned dogs in shelters shows that in reality a lot of people may not belong to any dog cult, even though it appears that way. It may only be a vocal minority!

Well, again, parents should be watching their kids if small, and teaching them not to approach strange dogs.

If a small child wanders into the road and is hit by a car, is it the driver's fault? Or the parent's?

I’d genuinely like to know if Jamjar59 also thinks that cars shouldn’t be in the same spaces as kids, or do they accept that parents also have a responsibility to teach and enforce road safety with their kids.

I agree with you, parents should absolutely be watching them and absolutely they should not be approaching unfamiliar dogs (for their own safety and because it’s impolite).

Of course it’s the fault of the parent in your example (though the driver does have a duty to try to avoid and/or emergency stop) but that’s not a fair comparison. The bottom line is you shouldn’t run into a moving car and dogs shouldn’t attack.

I agree. I had a dog once and loved her but I never treated her like she was my child. Now that I have an actual child I do find it odd when people treat their dogs as such. I mean, to each their own, but if I was OLD that would be a major turn off.

You must have misinterpreted that research. There is no way on God's green earth that children are more emotionally attached to a dog than a sibling. Or that anyone feels the love for a dog a parent does for a child. It's not possible

My siblings were shit to me when we were kids. My own sister joined in with bullies that taunted me in school. I absolutely did prefer our pet dog to them (and most other kids).

I've just checked both the articles and I was correct.

The one about siblings is about disclosures not closeness at all so says nothing like the claim.

The one about mother's says the important response areas were only activated by the child.

I do have a psychologist background with particularly strong neuroscience though so can forgive the poster for not reading beyond the headlines!