To think we need to find a way to infiltrate the dog cult?

[dogsdilemma]

I'll start by saying I favour cats but love all animals. I don't want a dog just now because I find them tying. Would date someone who had one because, contrary to what I'm about to say, I like them and it wouldn't be my responsibility.

But the obsession drives me nuts. It seems no one can own a dog in a normal way anymore. As in I have a dog, the dog is a pet not a person, dogs aren't god-like solve all creatures, it's fine if not everyone loves my dog as much as me - like I am with my cat.

Someone gets a puppy and I go to their house - all conversation is about the puppy and I'm expected to fuss like they've just given birth. I can't say 'ah I've actually come to catch up with my friend, not have endless chat about the puppy's sleep schedule and whether or not it shat in the house today' because their dogs are their babies, so I should treat them as such.

Instagram accounts for dogs - captions written like 'my mum took me for a walk today, I had so much fun'. Only mildly cringy but wtf? Are you a springer spaniel mother or Katie from uni?

I do an exercise class and the owner has a puppy. She brings him along so he's not home alone. At least 15 minutes of the session I've paid for is always taken up by the hive mind fussing the puppy. Everyone loves dogs so no one minds apparently - except I DO mind. If I say this though I'm gonna be the dick.

I'm OLD, and every other profile says 'must love dogs'. I do love them but don't want one, and if I say this it's like I've confessed to being Hitler in a past life. Cue messages trying to change my mind, as though not being obsessed with dogs is a moral failure. I love my cat but wouldn't rule out someone who doesn't feel the same?

The final nail in the coffin. I've been dating someone new. Had an absolute shitter of a week so far - nothing he can help with, not really serious, just work stuff. His response is 15 pictures of his dog being cute to cheer me up. He's just trying to be nice but I do not get it. I wouldn't expect pictures of my cat to cheer anyone up except, maybe, me. I'm being narky but I actually found it so so irritating and cannot even fake enthusiasm to reply. If I say 'awwww cute, thank you' he'll continue with this approach. If I say 'cute but why would your dog cheer me up ha' I'm gonna look like a knob.

I have no problem with others doing what they want to do but recently it is infiltrating everything. I know there are worse issues but ffs it's so annoying - what is this dog cult and how to we stop it? Can I tell this lovely man I'm dating that I actually have little interest in his dog?!?!?

No. I just teach my child respect. Not poking a dog in the eye and stuff- common sense things really😉. But you do you!

@brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr are you always so vulgar. Really no need.

You both sound unhinged. But I guarantee you keep your hatred to yourselves when you aren’t lurking behind a keyboard.

No, the parents of the child should be rescuing them. I can not think of a single situation where I would be alone with a stranger's child and my dog. So judging people for something that is never going to happen is just ridiculous.

And yes, children do need to learn how to be around dogs just like they need to learn how to cross the road and not talk to strangers etc.

The responsibility of a dog not attacking a child, is on the owner. Who on earth would disagree with that? I don’t know how you can think I sound unhinged when I’m only saying what the vast majority of people think.

I think when communicating on the internet, it’s easy to come off flippant but there’s no hatred, I’m not reading the other poster as unhinged either. And as for interactions in real life, I’m happy to tell owners to keep their dogs under control or to stay out of the parks that clearly say no dogs. I don’t say it disrespectfully but happy to tell them straight up.

Just because we think dog worshippers are weird, doesn’t make us unhinged.

I’m potty about our dogs but I hate it when people confuse buying them expensive treats and dressing them up, as proper care and love. I find it disrespectful to the animal.

Half the time they can’t interpret or wilfully misunderstand the signals the dog is sending them because they don’t understand canine body language.

One example, I was at the home of someone who had adopted a lovely sedate boxer, and they were patting it on the head and looking in to its eyes and allowing their child to fling its arms around it, and hug it tight, completely oblivious to the dog lip licking, moving its head away, and its very stiff body posture. It was hating the interaction!

Although they were very well meaning, it’s all very much “our way or the highway” without any sensitivity or respect for a species different to us.

Sensible comment.

I wouldn't like a dog at an exercise class, for their own safety. My dog tends to get in the way when I exercise at home and I have to make her go to her bed or else she'll get bopped with a 10kg kettlebell or get a sidekick in the chops.

I wouldn't per se mind a dog at group fitness if the dog wasn't trying to jump onto the mini trampoline with me or whatever, though. It would depend on its behaviour.

OTOH both my hairdresser and my husband's barber have a resident dog- a fluffy shit tzu type thing and a ginormous rottie respectively. Both reckon the dogs help business a lot.

I chose my profession well- one that I can do with a dog on my feet.:)

I wasn’t berating anyone - you’re completely over reacting. I’ve lost both a baby and a dog, and so I feel completely qualified in my opinion. I would NEVER belittle anyone’s grief, however arrived at, because I believe everyone is entitled to feel how they feel. I didn’t equate the two - I was commenting purely on the very nasty use of language by the other poster which was particularly dismissive of a persons genuine pain. You’re entitled to your opinion but until you’ve walked a mile in my shoes, frankly, you can do one.

Not really, they said they psych themselves up to help a parent and realise its some insensitive person talking about their dog. That is not ok. They should title the thread lost my dear dog not poor darling boy. It is not on to make people think you've lost a child or baby when it is a dog and it is equating the grief.

Like you did who should know better having experienced both you know there is no comparison in any way.

Having a dog isn't unlike having a toddler, apart from being able to leave them alone for a couple of hours, which is still hard! Before dc and even with dc our furbaby was also a child to us, dogs really are so loving and deserve the best. We love them do much we will talk about them and show photos but only to those interested, if not I wouldn't do it. X

Someone who has just lost a pet is not titling threads about their darling boy/girl to make people think they have lost a child. They use those terms because that is what they refer to their pet as. And no one gets to police what terms other people use... and certainly should not be an asshole about it when someone is grieving. Some thoughts should stay in your head.

They do need to think a bit more ffs. Jeez, how selfish can you be? Have a heart! If they write it out and didn't realise then that's on them. It's not ok no matter whether they call them a good boy, unless it's in the doghouse section.

No. They are grieving. Some people really struggle with pet bereavement... there are even specific phonelines for them to talk it over.

Anyone who pulls up someone who is bereaved, for using what you would deem to be the wrong words, is an asshole. End of.

You don’t get to tell me how they compare for me. Full stop.
As for “you should know better” - ha! You should wind your neck in.

I haven’t read the thread - apologies.

YABU. You can’t compare a cat to a puppy. They are two separate entities. I have cats and dogs btw. There is no comparison between caring for them. Cats do their own thing. Dogs need someone to tell them what to do - very much like men 😬

Then you have some serious issues. If your dogs death affected you in any way similar or equivalent to a stillbirth then I'm very very concerned tbh. You minimise babies deaths by saying this. Its not about telling you how to feel.

What you are saying is objectively offensive. Pet bereavement is completely different from child bereavement. Always. Obviously.

And anyone like you who thinks a dogs death is in any way close to the death of a child is inhuman.
You are also minimising.

Think about what you are saying fir a minute. You are saying the worst thing that could ever happen to a parent is similar to what happens to every single dog owner unless they are over about 80 by the time they get a dog.

You are ridiculous. You’re original objection was that I was “berating someone who has lost a baby”… and yet, you feel entitled to keep going at me???
Your opinion is yours - my LIVED EXPERIENCE is mine - and you have ZERO RIGHT to assume you know anything about how I’ve felt about either thing that happened to ME through a few words on a ridiculous thread.
Seriously? You need to report yourself now coz you’ve been far less empathetic to me that I ever was on my original comment.
Have a word with yourself love.

Um, you're the one who keeps repeating your inappropriate comparison. The pp was right to be upset, I have empathy with her and the memories those titles bring.

You know everyone can read your posts? 🤣

I’m personally very zen about the inevitability of my pets dying, but a lot of people aren’t. It’s really not anyone else’s business how someone deals with the death of their pet, and nobody has the right to play top trumps with someone else’s grief.

I also think the comments directed at TBGB are really uncalled for and cruel.

Yanbu..... my mates just got her dog some "knickers" because it keeps pissing her and husbands bed at night.....😖ick.

No. You are the one minimising and invalidating the grief felt by others.

I bet you are one of those people who scoff when someone loses their dog with lines such as 'it is only a dog' and 'you can just get another one'.

I never said losing pet is the same as losing a child. No one on this thread has. But as someone with no kids, the grief of losing my dog will hit me like a ton of bricks, and you do not have to right to say it does not matter and that parents have it worse. It will be my grief and my experience.

How dare you? Seriously

Yes babies death or a child always always 'trumps' a pet dying.

Fucking hell. Its not a competition but how can you say such things? It is very offensive. Extremely.

Grieve a pet however you want but do not say it can be in any way equivalent. It is not.

Ye, stop lying.
It's clear what I said and what you said.

2 posters did and have said exactly that.

I have never said don't grieve but to in any way equate to not eg a grandparent with a life well lived but a child as if it could be compared is wrong.

The dog might be elderly and losing the ability to hold her wee in. It is really common and there are very cheap medications to help with it. Or she could have a UTI.
Masking the issue with a dog nappy is not helpful really as she will be soaked in her own urine all night.

Yes @YeOldeGreyhound of course parents would have it worse!!! You cannot be serious you think your grief at your dog passing would be like a parent losing a child. You made that comparison in your last post even more clearly.

You seriously think that?