To think we need to find a way to infiltrate the dog cult?

[dogsdilemma]

I'll start by saying I favour cats but love all animals. I don't want a dog just now because I find them tying. Would date someone who had one because, contrary to what I'm about to say, I like them and it wouldn't be my responsibility.

But the obsession drives me nuts. It seems no one can own a dog in a normal way anymore. As in I have a dog, the dog is a pet not a person, dogs aren't god-like solve all creatures, it's fine if not everyone loves my dog as much as me - like I am with my cat.

Someone gets a puppy and I go to their house - all conversation is about the puppy and I'm expected to fuss like they've just given birth. I can't say 'ah I've actually come to catch up with my friend, not have endless chat about the puppy's sleep schedule and whether or not it shat in the house today' because their dogs are their babies, so I should treat them as such.

Instagram accounts for dogs - captions written like 'my mum took me for a walk today, I had so much fun'. Only mildly cringy but wtf? Are you a springer spaniel mother or Katie from uni?

I do an exercise class and the owner has a puppy. She brings him along so he's not home alone. At least 15 minutes of the session I've paid for is always taken up by the hive mind fussing the puppy. Everyone loves dogs so no one minds apparently - except I DO mind. If I say this though I'm gonna be the dick.

I'm OLD, and every other profile says 'must love dogs'. I do love them but don't want one, and if I say this it's like I've confessed to being Hitler in a past life. Cue messages trying to change my mind, as though not being obsessed with dogs is a moral failure. I love my cat but wouldn't rule out someone who doesn't feel the same?

The final nail in the coffin. I've been dating someone new. Had an absolute shitter of a week so far - nothing he can help with, not really serious, just work stuff. His response is 15 pictures of his dog being cute to cheer me up. He's just trying to be nice but I do not get it. I wouldn't expect pictures of my cat to cheer anyone up except, maybe, me. I'm being narky but I actually found it so so irritating and cannot even fake enthusiasm to reply. If I say 'awwww cute, thank you' he'll continue with this approach. If I say 'cute but why would your dog cheer me up ha' I'm gonna look like a knob.

I have no problem with others doing what they want to do but recently it is infiltrating everything. I know there are worse issues but ffs it's so annoying - what is this dog cult and how to we stop it? Can I tell this lovely man I'm dating that I actually have little interest in his dog?!?!?

You can’t dictate to other people. That’s all.

Your cat does cause problems though when it cuts across the back fence - my dog will go racing out of our house and damage his legs which has led to vet bills in the hundreds. Which means we can’t leave the back door open. The numerous cats sitting on our shed roof - torments our dog in our back garden. Cats are a pest, especially for wildlife, their owners never seem to acknowledge it.

I find “dog parents” or “cat parents” equally as irritating as you OP. I say this as an animal
lover and owning a dog and a cat. I love them hugely, but they are pets, they are not equal to my children, I do not call them my “fur babies” and I do not talk about them unless asked. When people visit the dog (excitable puppy) goes into his crate to chill out and learn good manners and the cat is usually outside anyway. Dogs are much happier being bottom of the pack, and not being fussed over and brought everywhere (including really inappropriate places) - it’s like a whole new swathe of people
have got dogs who don’t have the first clue about how to own one and properly look after it / train it!

Are you seriously suggesting that loneliness amongst the elderly is caused by their aversion to forming complex relationships with human beings!

@Frangipanyoul8r you say “even a park” as though that’s the most reasonable place to exclude a hefty portion of the population who own a (well behaved on leash) dog and need somewhere to walk it. Dog owners pay taxes too.

Excluding dogs from privately owned establishments is fair enough and very common in my experience. I guess it depends where you live. There are no dog friendly cafes in my town. People with no sense of propriety who have out of control, or poorly socialised, dogs probably shouldn’t have dogs at all. But that’s a different conversation.

I used to be scared of dogs and wasn’t keen at all. A few years ago pre covid my neighbour got a puppy. Love the dog- love dogs now and used to have the dog all the time (used to as I had to move). But I do agree that it’s getting silly- anything said about treating a dog like a dog and not a person is always met with a dig at kids. Do these ppl not realise that they were once kids? Those kids will be paying your pension. My ex ex was allergic - he must be having a terrible time. I put this on a post and some ppl were - well I’m allergic to grass so I can’t go every where- like how is that relevant?

Wow - I’m sorry for your loss (and having had a stillborn son I genuinely mean that) but if someone who has been through grief can’t empathise with other grieving that is very sad indeed. We all feel different loses in different ways. Appreciate it is perhaps triggering for you but you have no right to belittle someone else’s pain.

I agree OP.

Also i absolutely hate when dog owners randomly let their dog approach me with a 'ahh she won't hurt you' - maybe not but I don't want her near me anyway. I don't even dislike dogs but the owners who place their dogs wish to sniff my leg over my choice really piss me off. You actually don't get to decide whether your dog gets close to me, I do. These people think their dogs are babies and have zero understanding when it comes to humans. I do not want your dog near me. No, I am not scared I just don't like dog contact unless i choose it.

Ah thanks for the rant!!

You are not unreasonable, and I have a dog, be it one that tbh I regret agreeing to get because I never realised just how insane my DH would be about the dog and how the dog would have to come before everyone else and how we couldn't possibly just go for a nice meal without having to take the dog. She is a lovely dog but I thought we were getting a dog not another toddler who couldn't possibly be trained to be left alone etc and where all my attempts to have a very well trained dog went out of the window due to my partner not sticking to any of the training because he thinks its cute. I wasn't niaeve about getting a dog either, just completely niaeve about my DHs reaction and behaviour about a dog.

If I were to date again I'd never date someone who loves dogs.

Same with some parents and their kids, their entire lives revolve around the kids, every conversation always banging on about their kids, sharing pictures, videos, spoiling them, taking them everywhere even when it should just be you and your friend meeting up to catch-up and all they talk about is their kid or bring them along.

I mean you get that with humans too, a certain section that behave that way. 😂

Dogs are not all the same. Some can cope perfectly fine alone for hours at a time, some suffer high level of anxiety when they do. Some breeds are well known to be dogs who can't be left alone for long. Rescues would not hand over such dogs to people who intend on leaving them alone regularly for more than an hour or so.

I used to have a dog who didn't mind being on his own at home. My current dog is the opposite. I knew that before getting them and I knew it would mean being home more AND taking them with me more. They love going out in social places. They are small, cute and very well behaved. They don't have an once of aggressively in them. I'm yet to meet someone who express any negativity around them.

Well it works well then, I wouldn’t want you anywhere near my dog. Tbh, my dog is small and very cute looking, the amount of times I’ve had toddlers running over with some stupid parent looking on as their little darling launches itself at my dog. This is even though I have a bright yellow lead with nervous written all over it. Parents seem to think a dog is there for the amusement of their offspring.

Oh and I value my dog over many other humans as she has been much more of a help through my mental illness than many “friends”.

I just wish dog owners would keep their dogs under control when out in public and stop blaming other people for their dog's aggressive behaviour. I should not have to accept being growled at, chased and jumped up on when I am out at the park minding my own business.

It is a simple and reasonable request but appears to be totally unacceptable to a significant minority of dog owners it seems.

I love a friendly dog and have my own. I love dog watching when we're out in the park, spotting breeds. I love a cute/funny dog video.
However, I do agree that people get ridiculous and cringey over their 'fur babies'. It can be embarrassing. You can love them to bits (and they are very much a source of emotional support to people) but they are still pets. And I'm speaking as someone who loves her dog to bits. She's part of the family, the first one to greet you when you get home, and excellent at never-ending cuddles if you're feeling low.

Not everyone loves dogs and no one loves your dog as much as you do so dont expect them to be completely enamoured 100% of the time! I really try to be respectful of the fact that some people just aren't so keen on them!

@Kdtym10

Well it works well then, I wouldn’t want you anywhere near my dog.

What works well then?

And why are you offended becsue I don't want dogs approaching me randomly?

You are exactly the kind of dog owner I am talking about. No respect for others choices.

I completely agree OP.

My friend has created an Instagram account for her dog and it 'posts' updates in baby talk about what ' mum and I did today '.

I find it excruciating and to be honest have lost a bit of respect for the friend.

My friend created a FB account for her dog and sent out friend requests then got a bit pissed off when some of us declined

YANBU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All those exclamation marks are necessary to let MN know just how much I agree with you.

lol saaaaaaaad!

I want to follow up with I do very much like dogs, but I cannot stand the term "fur babies" or the social media accounts from the POV of a dog. I'm happy to be in the presence of a dog (provided it's well behaved), but man, please stop with the dog cult.

YANBU it's all about the dogs these days. I really couldn't give a crap about dogs. Someone at work has banged on about her dog every since she got it about 7 years ago, and everyone fawned over it when she started bringing into work for a visit every now and then. I found myself googling the life span of this breed of dog to see how much longer this will go on.

I found myself googling the life span of this breed of dog to see how much longer this will go on.

That’s hilarious @calexico !

She’ll probably just get it cloned though!

Do dogs growl at you frequently? To know a significant minority of dogs that growl is pretty bad. Where are you located because I'd like to avoid your part of the world?

A neighbour has the most gorgeous little dog, the nicest I've ever seen. I was about to post something and stood by the post box until the dog had finished smelling it. Remarked her dog was beautiful and she said please don't touch her as she's very nervous about uninvited attention. I assured her I would never do that. She said that people just go up to her without permission. How awful.

YANBU OP, dog mania is very prominent now and heaven help you if you're not fully on board because then you are labelled a hater - over reaction much?

My nephew and eldest sister thinks the same and both own dogs.

😂😂but she will probably get another dog, most likely within a week of breaking facebook with sobby posts about her 'irreplaceable' life companion.