To think my colleagues are being inconsiderate?

[Sophie2525]

I couldn’t make it work yesterday, my Dad usually has DD on a Tuesday, however he couldn’t take care of DD today as his Dad (my grandad) is very poorly, he needed to be with him. So I had no childcare.
I’m usually very reliable and try to cover shifts as much possible, even though it’s a struggle with childcare.
I explained the reason I couldn’t make it in, I work with just females, who give the impression they are kind but not one of them asked how my grandad is, I just got the impression they didn’t give a fuck.
Im now in the mindset I just don’t want to make effort with them unless it’s work relate. Am I being pathetic ?

They probably don’t care. I wouldn’t care about a work colleagues grandad if I’m honest.

Also not sure why you assume women should be kind either

Yabu for saying females.

I'm sorry, but you are expecting far too much from coworkers. They are not your friends and they all have their own issues to contend with. It's not that they "don't care", it's that they have their own lives, too.

Do they even know? Has it registered with them? Most adults whose grandparents are still alive know they will die someday soon and they're ill all the time beforehand. Everyone else lost theirs a long time ago.

What is it about this that has got to you so much? Is there something deeper in life that's upsetting you or do you always take things to heart? You sound really young if you still have grandparents, so you might want to work on resilience because the world of work gets a lot tougher than people not asking after your granddad when you took an impromptu day off leaving them to do the work.

I'm always sympathetic to a point until it then starts affecting my own workload / stress / impacting on my home life - it's a bit childish really to react like this over one episode where they likely didn't know the full details.

Being difficult with you because you had a one off childcare issue would be unreasonable.

Not asking about your grandad is absolutely not unreasonable.

Your anger and frustration is misplaced.
Where's your daughter's dad in all this?

I presume you remember everything that happens to them in their life?

No way do I expect this of others

I probably wouldn't even remember the reason you couldn't make it in, unless you were really unwell, so wouldn't ask either.

I do hope your grandad is doing better though.

How would they all know for a start? It would be very unprofessional for manager to tell everyone why you weren’t in.

I wouldn't care about a colleagues grandad either.

Did you like send out all company email or something? LM don't usually go around and say why someone couldn't make it in if it's private...

Yabu even if they know.

I would ask how a colleague’s grandparent was. However, I’d also not be too concerned if they didn’t ask back and assume they were caught up in work stuff and had forgotten. I can understand you’re feeling a bit sensitive though, OP, always sad when a family member isn’t well.

I work with just females, who give the impression they are kind but not one of them asked how my grandad is, I just got the impression they didn’t give a fuck.

I’m not trying to be rude but the simple fact is that they don’t give a fuck. Why would they? They don’t know your grandad.
Similar to the way you don’t give a fuck about the impact your absence may have had on their lives.

I would ask about your grandad - if I’d been told - which is unlikely as my line manager wouldn’t share the reason people were off.

Selfishly I wouldn’t be happy about covering your work.

Also if people ask it's usually at work after you return.

Unless you all are good friends outside of work

They might be trying to be kind, assuming you would talk about it if you wanted to. I wouldn't assume someone wanted to discuss that if they didn't bring it up.

You are being pathetic in answer to your question
You need to ensure you have back-up childcare because you having to take unplanned days off, thereby adding to colleagues workload, will not endear you to them

So your only beef with them is that they didn't ask how your grandad was?

If so then yabu.

You are the one who inconvenienced everybody else and yet you are asking if you should stop making an effort. 😂

Echoing others, they don't care about your grandad. You are colleagues, not family members or lifelong friends. I'm sure they wish you well, but they probably haven't given the news a second thought. Unless they were unkind, they've obviously covered your shift and are getting on with it. When you return they will probably ask how you are. I'm sorry to hear your news and I hope you are doing OK. Concentrate on your family and don't think about work for now.

The reason you weren’t at work is that your childcare fell through. If your grandfather is old and unwell, and your dad is likely to be less available for childcare as a result, you need a reliable backup.

How would they know? Presumably you’ve told your manager, but if someone told me, I’d just tell the team you weren’t going to be in, I wouldn’t divulge why.

Most colleagues don’t care WHY you’re off anyway, they just immediately switch to who is going to pick up your work

They’re probably miffed at having to cover your workload if anything.

Most people don’t have “back up
childcare”. Judgemental statement.

We both work full time, and have no relatives nearby, and all our friends work
too.