Would you have a baby at 50?

[pumpkinpatch6]

Off the back of the "Do you regret having a baby at 40" thread, would you have a child at 50 assuming you can provide for it emotionally and financially? Obviously medical assistance would be needed.

Just to add, my Mum also actually died when I was 13. She was 58. I wouldn’t want to put my child through the trauma and the long terms effects that has on a child/adult.

I wasn't sure if you were taking personally or not. It was just the only explanation I could find for that specific post.

There's plenty of things people post on mumsnet, that I personally wouldn't. I suspect op wasn't posting in order to make up their own mind though... It's probably more with regard to high profile women having babies at that age - but I could be wrong.

No way, unless you want to live in a nightmare.

Agree Muriel. The very idea makes my blood run cold.

I wouldn’t want to have a baby at 50 myself, but I wouldn’t judge someone else who did, just as I wouldn’t judge someone who
had a baby at 16 🤷🏽‍♀️

I had secondary infertility and gave up trying at 44. The chances of a healthy pregnancy, healthy baby are very low mid forties onwards. I’m now 50, sometimes I feel broody but I wouldn’t consider a baby now.

I had twins at 47, nearly 48, after a long IVF journey.

It's been fine. Very full-on, since I work more than fulltime in a demanding role. I'm tired, but I'm sure I would be tired if I had had them at 27 or 37 too.
I just devote my time to children and work. I had 25 years before having them to travel/have adventures, so I don't mind just focusing on them now.

My parents are 94/95, and in good health, so hopefully I'll also live a long healthy life.

So yes, I can see why some people have a baby at 50. I probably would not recommend someone starting again at 50, if they already had teenagers.

Yes if I could..

Sorry I do think this is irresponsible. I had my first at ( just) 28. I wasn't tired, my maternity leave was like a relaxing holiday. Your children will have no relationship with thier grandparents, unless they have children very young you will not be able to offer practical help when they are new parents.

God no.

I had one at 24 which was a walk in the park compared to being pregnant and having babies in my 30s.

Luckily mine still have 3/4 grandparents and they help a lot. I couldn’t imagine being older without them doing it alone.

Am fit healthy in my bmi but at 49 noticing so many changes physically. Plus losing my mummy hormones so would have zero patience for small children.

Are older mothers the reason there are seemingly more children with additional needs?

I think this is so unkind. You’re lucky things were so easy for you - this poster had a long ivf journey but you know just cast judgement whilst taking your own good health for granted. IVF can be brutal physically and emotionally.

Lots of people don’t know their grandparents or have parents help when they have their own dc. Some people provide financially instead or their dc work hard and buy in any help they need.

No it's obese and unfit parents.

What a load of absolute rubbish. Had my first at 18 - ASD diagnosis at 8 , I was young fit and healthy. I have other dc with ASD too. It’s Genetic not due to lifestyle choices !

Not according to government data. Taking parental age and ASD, the results suggested it was more to do with high-familial risk, and no significant associations of age with clinical ASD diagnoses.

There has been have been changes in assessments and diagnostic criteria And greater awareness, which account for some of the increase. More teachers are trained to recognise SEN and more likely to spot early indicators. Decreased stigma has led to more people getting support.

According to UCL data, those identified with SEN are more likely to speak English at home, and are eligible for free school meals.

Another factor was the higher survival rates in premature babies, in terms of autism babies born before 27wks had a 30% chance of developing autism compared to 1% at full term.

It’s genetic I do also wonder about an autoimmune trigger ? Much like levels of allergies and illnesses like type 1 diabetes are increasing.

I was also counselled re risk with one of my prem babies that having the steroid shots for lung maturity was linked to an increase in behaviour issues / adhd later in childhood they said there had been a study and they had to let me know (this was in 2019)

I should have put a question mark on my post as it is in the same vein as the questioner who is just blaming parental age. (BTW my DP has ADHD his parents were much younger than mine had me. However both his parents were ND.)

Allergies appear to have a genetic component to it as well. My mum, who had her children at different ages, seems to have bred allergic children and grandchildren. She had hay fever and eczema. We have hay fever, eczema and food allergies.

Maybe, you know nothing about me or my story. It isn't all chance. It is possible but IMO unlikely PP started trying to concieve before 27. I wasn't in a perfect place or a perfect relationship at that stage either, but I prioritised utilising my optimum fertility. Long and difficult IVF journeys rarely start much before 30.

I have to say, I agree with you @Neurodiversitydoctor

And that's not to say it's all lovely bubbly having children younger, there were downsides (for me, teens and early 20s).

But having more energy and grandparents made so much difference: I worked and studied throughout easily, and had regular breaks as grandparents helped out.

This line about it being privileged to have children gets used often, but many times it's simply that those who delay child rearing just have different priorities - travel etc.

I think it is generally accepted ND and SEN are higher in older parents

Link here:
https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2764401#:~:text=Advanced%20paternal%20or%20maternal%20age,aged%2025%20to%2029%20years.

Another article quite good at summarising here the focus is very much on Autism
https://www.verywellhealth.com/older-parents-and-autism-risk-for-child-5199211

Yes, these studies show correlations and are very clear that there is no proven causation. For example, it would be like saying SEN is caused by being poor. That would be incorrect, SEN children are more likely to come from poverty, but we are not saying that poverty causes SEN. In fact low-income families are twice as likely to be identified as having SEN, but you probably wouldn’t say you are twice as likely to have a SEN child if you are poor - the structure of the sentence is misleading.

Some examples given include older parents tend to be more wealthy and can afford assessments, a bit like the increase of SEN in general where more children are identified as having SEN because more people are aware of it.

So in essence, it comes down to the causation vs correlation. Yes there is evidence low income families and older parents have a higher percentage of children assessed as SEN, but being older or being poor doesn’t cause SEN.