Would you have a baby at 50?

[pumpkinpatch6]

Off the back of the "Do you regret having a baby at 40" thread, would you have a child at 50 assuming you can provide for it emotionally and financially? Obviously medical assistance would be needed.

Good grief no....
I had DD at very nearly 41. I'm now 53, she's nearly 13 and my hopes of retiring early-ish are slipping further and further into the distance...... I've told her that we will
support her through 1 degree but anything postgrad she's on her own..

Is that you Sue?

Would I go out of my way to have a baby at 50? Nope. If I got pregnant by suprise after decades of trying? I would not have an abortion. If I got pregnant by supersede and already had 3 adult children, then that would be a bit more of a thought on what to do.

No, I was nearly 42, when I had my DS. I'm now 55,and feel very guilty for doing so. Very selfish - don't know what I was thinking of. Hormones do strange things to our brains. It all suddenly becomes mes clear when they switch off.

Me personally, absolutely not! My friend who got special guardianship of her grandson when he was a new born, was 48 at the time, and honestly she says how tired she is. The child is 5 now. She doesn't regret taking him on, but she does find it very draining.

I'm about that age and have always been a very maternal person, but even I have noticed that crying babies and shrieking children really really irritate me in a way it never did before.
I guess it's Mother Nature telling my menopausal self that I'm done!

No. Having always been fit and healthy, 50 was the age that my body started to go a bit wrong - prolapsed discs and degenerative back pain, sciatica, diagnosed with a fairly serious autoimmune disease. So I don't think I would have been a good candidate for a healthy pregnancy and recovery. Childbirth takes a lot out of you. Mid-fifties now and no way I could cope with a small child.

No but I have had three and they've done me in 🤣 might feel in more of a fit state to have one if it was to be my first. I know a lady had her first and only at 49, seems to be coping fine.

No no no no no!!!

had mine in my twenties and loved being a mama.

now mid forties and mine are adults - still need me but in a different way.

the thought of running around after then at soft play and having the energy for all the toddler stuff / school rinds/ play dates - Not in a million years could I do that now!!!

looking forward to being a grannie at some point - enjoying them - getting knackered after a day with them - then giving them back!

no way on earth could I go back to that full time and I’ve not hit 50 yet!!!

good luck to those who feel able to - but definitely not for me!!!

No its her husband/abuser......

No. My Mum was 45 and my Dad was 48
when they unexpectedly found out they were having me. They already had a 12 year old, a 17 year old and a 22 year old. They were also Grandparents to a 3 year old when I was born. They were loving and very caring but didn’t have the energy or the resources to parent me as other parents did(poor health arose for them both in their fifties). I felt I missed out on a lot compared to my friends. It just wasn’t great for me and so no, I wouldn’t and I set a time limit on when I would draw a line on having kids and that was 33.

Jesus, these comments! It's 50, not dead!

If you are still ovulating/having periods, then your body is literally telling you that you could (probably) conceive a child if you wanted to.

What you do with your own uterus is really nobody else's business. If you want to - and can - go for it!

Having a baby is so much more than getting pregnant and giving birth.

I am 51, have 6 kids with the youngest born when I was 38. I have health issues now I didnt have a year ago. I have financial issues I didnt have a year ago. I have caring duties I didnt have a year ago. Would that all be managable if I had got PG at 50 and now had a 6 month old?! No. Would I have family support from my parents? No. Would I still be financially stable and have choices? No.

"Go for it!" only works if one truly has nothing else to worry about, and hardly anyone is in that situation.

And FYI, disabilities in children vastly increase with the age of the parents, so add into all of the above a child with autism (yep, got one of those too), how is your "Go for it!" looking now?

ETA....I would say that what you do with your uterus is certainly the business of the person who emerges from it. The fact that you can only think about the mother in this situation and not the child says that you really shouldnt be giving advice on this, especially as the children of much older parents have already said that they think its a bad idea.

No absolutely not. I was post menopause at 46 anyway, I wouldn’t have a baby at 40 either.

I AM a child of older parents. Mum 45, dad 55. You were saying... 😏

Your attempt at smugness does not negate anything I said.

I don't think the question is 'can you physically still have a child at 50'. It's 'would you (want to) have a child at 50'.

So it's pretty irrelevant what your body is saying. The question is all about choice.

There's a lot of questions people pose on mumsnet that 'aren't anyone else's business - so what? That doesn't mean if someone poses the question, they shouldn't answer it. And just because people don't want babies at 50, it doesn't take away from other people's choices to at least try for that if they want to. People are allowed to think it's a bad idea, and there are a lot of potential medical issues to back up that point of view.

None of it is a personal attack on your existence. Nobody is saying you shouldn't be here, just because you were born to older parents.

I’m a no, as much as I love other peoples new babies, I’m ready for grandchildren now (although that’s still a long way off!). I can’t believe all the things that have gone wrong with my health since 50, not huge things, just annoying niggly things that make life harder.

I found the baby stage relatively easy and I think I could manage it now (am 50), but am currently parenting a teen and it is exhausting so definitely wouldn’t want to be doing that mid 60s. For a 20 year old to have a 70 year old Mum, seems a bit unfair too in case there are issues. But don’t want to judge as I understand that yearning to be a Mum if it is something that has taken a long time.

Personally it would be my worse nightmare and if I did find myself pregnant at 50 for some reason I wouldn’t be going ahead. I’ve been a parent for 30yrs now and I’m 46! My youngest of 3 is 16 and I’m counting down now until she goes to Uni. But even now I feel like I’ve got a life for the first time as I never had that freedom in my teens / early 20’s as I had a young child. My brother also had children young but then his wife left him and he got remarried to someone who had no children. They had a baby when he was 48, and so his 50th is coming up and he’s the father of a child nearly 30, one 25 and one 2! His wife is a little younger but both are admittedly exhausted as you just don’t have the same energy. That said if it’s something YOU want then why not. I’d be concerned about the very high risk of disability, but it’s your life, but for me, no I wouldn’t want a baby at 50, I’ll be preparing for grandchildren by then

I'm 48 and my youngest is in her final year at school. I wouldn't be starting again.

I think I'd enjoy having grandchildren at some point though but not a child I have to raise for the next 20years.

I haven't remotely taken it as a personal attack. LOL!

I just can never understand why other people's opinions on such as personal issue should matter.

This isn't 'AIBU to have a word with my neighbour' or 'AIBU to bring a +1 to X event'.

This is someone asking others if they would have a baby at 50 presumably to help inform their own decision.

Just not personally a question I would ask the internet!

Smugness? Eh?
Just explaining I am a child of older parents, which actually does negate a lot of what you said because, in my case, none of it is true.
'Smug' is thinking you can speak for everyone. So, respectfully, if anyone is 'smug' round here it's you 🤷‍♀️

I get a lot of, "I'm fitter now etc..." as I see lots old older parents and especially men in my work. But honestly, my personal observation is that we kid ourselves about the fact that we are at higher risk of dying and ill health. I've seen vanishing few kids not effected by having old parents. I was 42 when I had second. I wish it wasn't the case. I'm ashamed to admit that I didn't give it enough thought when I was 42.

I think the main issue is that none of us know what’s around the corner health-wise. Yes, illness can strike in your 20’s or 30’s, but it’s far less likely than in your 50’s or 60’s.

My Mum was fit and healthy until her 40’s when she suddenly developed a chronic condition. She died in her 60’s after years of ill health. She was 38 when she had me and I’m glad that it wasn’t later.

I’m about to turn 50 and have two teenagers and an elderly Dad to support, I haven’t got time for a baby. 😂