Would you have a baby at 50?

[pumpkinpatch6]

Off the back of the "Do you regret having a baby at 40" thread, would you have a child at 50 assuming you can provide for it emotionally and financially? Obviously medical assistance would be needed.

@Kendodd surely the bottom line should be about what is best for the child. Too many older women are forging ahead using donors and paying money to have children to fill a hole.

what about those children?

No. I'm 49, I had my last one at 42. I'm quite tired and relieved to be out of the toddler years, which to me are far more exhausting than the baby phase. My chasing days are over 🤣

I think you've tagged the wrong poster. I said in my first post that having a baby at 50 isn't fair on the kid.

Oh I agree with you!
Almost 42 when I had my third and final child.
Chasing days were exhausting.
However now 54 and dealing with teenagers - a whole new level of stress and exhaustion!

Poor kid.

Ok. Another example: A very close friend had twins at 48 (egg donor), became a single mum when they were 3 and is doing a phenomenal job raising them on her own ( no grandparents to help out).

How old are the twins ? I wonder how it will all pan out when the twins are in their 20s ? Unfortunate to have no parents at 48, I would worry about inherited risks if both my parents had died in their early 70's..

I would absolutely judge a man in his 50s. My ex Fil did in his early 60s with a woman 35 years his junior. He died when they were 2&4.

Didn’t say there were no grandparents, they are in their 80s and super fit but live overseas. I was responding to poster who said that another 48yo didn’t want to put in the work to bring up a child.

Sounds like she is doing her best, good luck to her, but hardly ideal is it ?

Nothing is ideal. Sorry to burst your bubble.

Nothing is ideal, what? Yes, things can be ideal. Ideal is not a super high standard.

Absolutely shit happens, however this was planned with this in mind. There is a difference between accidental pregnancy in less than ideal circumstances and actively planning to have babies without support after your naturally fertile years have ended.

Lots of people struggle with less than ideal circumstances and try to make something of their lives. Honestly get some empathy and stop being so judgy, it’s not a good look.

No. Speaking from position of having the number of dc that feels enough

Accidental pregnancy? What on earth are you talking about? Please stop, I don’t intend to reply to your absurd messages.

Sorry for you.

Right ok then this place is batshit

well it IS very far from ideal. To say anything else would be a deception. Most parents wouldn’t choose to be almost 50 before they have kids and become pensioners before said kids reach adulthood. This is not most people’s first choice, no.

What’s worse then to all those horrified by older parents - being born to loving parents with a stable home and financial security who are in their 40s or 50s, or born to a 25 year old who already has 4 kids, social services involvement and is living in chaotic and over crowded housing?

Yes, compare it to the worst scenario possible, that's a fair comparison. And definitely not skewed to the outcome you want.

Or, compare having stable 25-40 year old parents to 50 year old parents.

Unless your point is that being a 50 year old parent and a 25 yo parent of 4 on social services radar are comparably bad?

I wouldn't because of the toll it would take on my body. However from the age pov my dh is 50 and an excellent, hands on dad to our toddler. There's 15 years between us and he'd never had dc before (I have two from previous relationship).

Seems more acceptable for men.

Nope just pointing out to the doom and gloom posters who seem to think being an older parent is the worst and most selfish thing you could do to a child that is really is not.

Yes it would be great if people were able to complete their families pre-40 but life doesn’t always work out like that. And if it doesn’t, it is not necessarily a disaster. One of my friends was born to late 40s/early 50s parents and his parents are still going strong in their mid/late 80s, very active and involved in their grandchildren’s lives whereas my parents had me in their early 30s and both died in their 60s 🤷🏻‍♀️

Completely agree. Absolutely not a first choice . Question is whether one would make the choice or not. Many of us don’t have ideal lives so we make the best of what we have been given. It’s the same whether it’s age or financial circumstances. It is not ideal to be on low incomes and have children but people still do. It’s not ideal to have an underlying condition and have children but people do. And they make wonderful parents. And I admire them. Otherwise the only ideal circumstances would entail only young, well off, educated, healthy people having children while others would just sit by ans rue their not ideal situation. Or, make the best of what they have been given.

It’s not either or and more complex than that!