Would you have a baby at 50?

[pumpkinpatch6]

Off the back of the "Do you regret having a baby at 40" thread, would you have a child at 50 assuming you can provide for it emotionally and financially? Obviously medical assistance would be needed.

@minuette1 If you're parents had you at 50, you wouldn't have even had 30 years with them. There is a lot at stake, which is why people said it's selfish.

I think trying to mitigate risk is good, by staying healthy and making plans for the future. People sticking their fingers in their ears and saying la la 30 year olds die too, is silly.

I think the film Idiocracy is where the world is heading.

@chaosmaker 🤣 I tried to explain that film’s premise to my teenagers recently, they stared at me as if I was mad. You have to see it to really understand the comedy/tragedy it portrays.

Yes of course, nothing is black and white - I addressed that in my subsequent post..

@Newchapterbeckons I think people would be slated for judging the 25 year old but it seems to be acceptable to judge the 50 year old. I think It's much prefer to be the child of the 50 year old.

And you'd be wrong because plenty of people judge. Can see more on search

What age would you quietly think is young to have a baby? www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4981582-what-age-would-you-quietly-think-is-young-to-have-a-baby

It’s a strange world where people judge a 25 year old for having a child!

@Forthwith Not due to the age, but the example given was of someone who couldn't really support them, by many people's standards.

No at the moment 50 comes with too many complications. I’m sure long in the future 50 will become normal due to evolution and living longer, it’s risky at the moment.

My cousin’s parents’ are much older he’s only 36 but dealing with a father who is chronically ill at 93 and a mother who can’t look after herself never mind her husband. He and his wife haven’t even had chance to start their own family yet. Yes I know you can be chronically ill at any age and there’s young carers but this isn’t unfortunate circumstances, they knew they would get old and would rely on him to care for them whilst he’s also juggling a career and home life. He’s now choosing to have children late because of the pressure of looking after very elderly parents.

I'm actually contemplating it at the moment. I'm 49 but would be 50 by the time a baby arrived, if we were successful.

I had a baby at 46, 5 weeks before I turned 47 and it's the hardest, but absolutely best thing that's ever happened to us. He's my first and we went through IVF and have another embryo, hence the contemplating now.

I know people talk about the exhaustion, but my life really started with having this baby. I found out I have an underactive thyroid, symptoms of which I've had since puberty, the most obvious being feeling indescribably exhausted all the time.

Having treatment is like waking up after 30 years, so I'm just constantly amazed at how much more awake I feel now than in my teens, 20s and 30s. I definitely couldn't have done this then. It probably accounts for never getting pregnant before as well, so having this opportunity at this point is something I pinch myself about regularly. It the most wonderful and fascinating thing to watch him grow.

We're conscious that as (much) older parents we might pop off sooner that our son's friends' parents (although my older parents are still going and living independently whilst I have friends whose much younger parents have died). So a sibling would be someone else to have that connection to the past with, support and friendship throughout life.

But it may not work, they may not get on etc. So, we'll see. The main cons are that my husband's work takes him away a lot, we don't have the grandparent support that a lot of parents have and my own career is just taking off. I'd feel guilty having more childcare help for this baby than I did with my son, who I've been with almost constantly so far.

It all depends on your personal circumstances I suppose, but good luck if you decide to go for it.

You're situation sounds quite similar to mine, which is a novelty for me.

I wouldn't swap my older parents for the world, they are now 87 and going strong and have 6 year old and 2 year old grandchildren.

It's the done thing in my family to have children older. My granny was born in 1899 and had her children aged 37 & 40. Her husband, my grandad was born in 1896 and served all the way through WW1 and lived to tell the tale. His father was late 40s/50s when he had 5 sons. His mother was 42 when she had the last of the 5 at the turn of the 20th century. They all survived and thrived, in the 1890s/1900s, so I reckon our genes are fairly robust. Just shows it's not a new thing to have kids in your 40s. She lived to 82 so saw her youngest to 40.

I always say it's more eco-friendly too. Most people will have 2 or 3 generations to 1 of ours, so who's really selfish?! 😂

As the child of older parents I wouldn't do it myself or recommend it. Don't get me wrong, I loved both parents immensely but there are difficulties. Especially when the child is no longer a toddler.

Would be nice but difficult dealing with teens/school work in your late 60s.

Would you rather have not been born at all though? Most people have something in their upbringing that wasn’t ideal. Sounds like you had a lot of love and that’s not always a given for everyone no matter how old/young their parents were when they were born.

I'm 70 and bringing up a teenage GC. I actually have more time for nagging about homework/state of bedroom etc as I've retired. I think he probably thinks it is a disadvantage but he still chooses to live here.

I was a young mum with my first, 18 in fact. I was friendly with another mum who was twice my age, maybe slightly more. She was upset one day and told me her 8 year old had said she wished she had a young mum like me. I told her not to worry, my 8 year old said it was embarrassing having a young mum and he would inspect my clothes before I went to things like parents evening and would loudly complain if he thought I was wearing something too young for a mother.

You can't win. Maybe we should have swapped children?

No. I’m 45 with 10 and 8 year old children. I didn’t necessarily know it at the time but I think having a kid after about 42 would have been too old for me

No! I’m exhausted in my 30s can’t even imagine the toll it would take in 20 years

They were fabulous parents. It's just that I could better look after them now than when I was working full time. I regret their loss it was all out of synch.

The argument about preferring to not be born is absurd. Of course most people want to be here once they are.

That said I suppose there are people who have committed suicide and possibly been raised in less than ideal situations who didn't want to be born.

I've had moment where I've thought things would have been better if I'd never been born. That my birth destroyed people in my family.

The point is it's a useless question.

@Roxy69 honestly be grateful. Mynpatwjts had me at 30 and cuased me nothing but pain. You should appreciate your food fortune

My mom had me at 15 and it was a total disaster.

I can still have empathy for @Roxy69

She has clearly struggled and that's ok..

Not everything is a competition.

There will always be people who have suffered more or less than you.

Ok so I was in the live and let live camp…

But then I read that Jeremy Kyle is having a baby at 58 and I think it turned me the other way 😂https://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/jeremy-kyle-reveals-newborn-babys-31979562

@Bex5490 he's had ANOTHER one?! Jesus christ, as someone who's name escapes me used to say "put something on the end of it!" 😆

I know forced sterilization is not popular but he is clearly a case for it... We are on an overpopulated planet which has nothing to do with whether or not someone can afford children. The planet can't afford it which does your already existing kids a disservice.... Not hard to understand.