Would you have a baby at 50?

[pumpkinpatch6]

Off the back of the "Do you regret having a baby at 40" thread, would you have a child at 50 assuming you can provide for it emotionally and financially? Obviously medical assistance would be needed.

Have you had twins?? I didn’t think so. I had a great experience with lots of support - but at 50?! Not a chance.

Nope. I wouldn't have been able to cope with the sleepless nights, the loss of independence, social life, the daily gruel of domestic chores involved. Well maybe if I was uber-rich it would help but even so, no. I just wouldn't have had the energy it calls for.

@Newchapterbeckons I havemy
had twins - but you responded to a poster who has had twins in her late forties and said she managed it well and said you didn’t believe her?

i find the psychology of that interesting 🤷‍♀️

Of course having g twins isn't easy but I don't feel I found it any harder than someone in their 30s. I work full time as well and don't intend retiring until I am 70. I guess it just depends on whether you have a positive or negative outlook on life my mum is 94 and still capable of walking unaided and enjoying life.

In the past there were a lot of older mothers. There wasn't the same ability to prevent it as now. They found the energy, which is what I'd do if I found myself with an unplanned pregnancy.

Because they don't want to have a child that late in life? Plenty of other things people don't want to do at 50.

Nightclubs.
University.
Starting a new career.
Taking on a newborn.

@BootyfuI yes but that’s not point - my point is why are (some) posters so eager to make it clear that they don’t think OTHER women should do it.

@SickOfSoreFeet well yes but the past is the past. We do now have a choice, in the main.

Plenty normally if lead a healthy life and not cursed by ill health events from above I would have thought. But with a young child maybe a different matter.

Was responding to this:

I also find it this weird dissonance between the a common mumnswt view that being a mother is the most rewarding thing ever (there was a thread about this recently) but then apparently it would be the most hideous thing possible if you did it when you were a bit older. I do wonder if sometimes if it’s an acceptable way for many of these posters to express that actually they didn’t really enjoy motherhood that much when they were young and could have been doing other things? I don’t know - but it is so odd that it brings out this weird strident negativity.

I don’t have long to go until I’m 50 and I couldn’t think of anything worse than having a baby at this stage in my life. I am enjoying my freedom, and my grandchildren now.

Absolutely no way.

I became a nan at 50, I love DG to bits, he is now 4 but it can be quite exhausting looking after him, I would not want a child at 50.

having a child at 50 may not be for everyone, I get that. But i really struggle with the selfishness comments. It’s odd what we as a society think is selfish. Older mothers get the selfish tag. but being a mother at any age is a lot less selfish than flying on holidays or excessive shopping and destroying the planet, for example.

Often older children would be helping out with childcare this was quite normal especially for girls

Its not about not being able to it’s able knowing that you simply don’t have the same energy levels. Our bodies are not meant to be having babies so late it’s rare if it happens (naturally) for a reason

my great granny had her last at 49 (13th) she looked about 80 and be all accounts was utterly miserable

I’m 46 and have accepted that it’s too late for me to have a child now (fairly sure I’m In Perimenopause but don’t know for sure as I’m still taking the mini pill).

For me personally, it’s not the financial aspect or the like, it’s more thinking how old I’ll be when that child hits 10, 20 etc. I’d be worried that I wouldn’t be here long enough to support them into adult hood. Would my health be good enough to look after them properly as a child. Also at 46 I’m knackered now from looking after my 9 year old nephew. Not sure I’d cope with a younger child of my own in my 50’s.

But that’s just me. I feel it’s a very personal decision and you have to do what’s right for you.

In a word no

No probably not, if I were loaded and could afford lots of help then perhaps but as an average person no I wouldn't. DH's brother is 50 with a 2 year old and he seems bloody miserable most of the time and his poor wife can't leave him with the kid on his own for more than a couple of hours as he can't cope.

Hell no!!

My grandmother had one at 51 and was just fine. She lived till her mid-90s. She loved babies. Women in my family have quite late fertility, it seems. I feel I'm still quite fertile.

I don't have the energy I had when I was 20 at 50, but I'd step up if I had a baby. The hardest part would be broken nights at this stage, for me anyway. But I'm very active, literally climb mountains, and would take a child out into nature a lot, do all the things I did with the younger ones. It's just not something I'd choose at this point. I'm not incapable though.

@browneyes77 I think as well at our age (i'm 45) that you really need to invest in looking after yourself if you want to age well, kids take lot out of you and lack of sleep is a killer.

He can cope. I wouldn't enable his 'helplessness'.

No, non, nein, nyet.

No way not fair on the child

I have developed a chronic illness since 2018 which has changed my life a lot.