Would you have a baby at 50?

[pumpkinpatch6]

Off the back of the "Do you regret having a baby at 40" thread, would you have a child at 50 assuming you can provide for it emotionally and financially? Obviously medical assistance would be needed.

Well in China they would only have one child to consider ( policy has only just changed) and they are raised to be culturally extremely different to us. Especially children are taught not to challenge elders or authority and to be very respectful, passive even.

So I guess one compliant child is going to be manageable for most. It’s the sleepless nights at baby stage and teen years that are going to be the killer at 50 plus. Not the easier bit in between.

This is it in a nutshell.

No doubt they are knackered too.

This. As I’ve already said I find the psychology of these threads fascinating.

although it not only becomes what is the optimum time for child rearing but THE TIME I DID IT WAS EXACTLY THE RIGHT TIME.

as I also already said so many of the women posting here would have been awful - or certainly far from ideal - mothers for all sorts of reasons. It’s odd that age is somehow the most heinous of all.

I also find it this weird dissonance between the a common mumnswt view that being a mother is the most rewarding thing ever (there was a thread about this recently) but then apparently it would be the most hideous thing possible if you did it when you were a bit older. I do wonder if sometimes if it’s an acceptable way for many of these posters to express that actually they didn’t really enjoy motherhood that much when they were young and could have been doing other things? I don’t know - but it is so odd that it brings out this weird strident negativity.

I think that being emotionally unstable as many people are when they have children is far worse for a child than a parent being older.

Oh I was referring to @Topsyturveymam but couldn’t quote. Must be my age and how bad with technology I am. DEF shouldn’t think about children in that case or their lives will be ruined 😁

I wonder if men and women differ, especially if there is an age gap. I’ve friends who are a couple and had no idea how old they were. Met them when our eldest children were in nursery and saw them fairly regularly and still see them now and again. Always assumed they were my age - mid 40s. I see myself as an older parent at 46 and mine are 14 and 11. Turns out that the dad in the couple just turned 61 which means he was 47 when he had his eldest and 50 his youngest. I was really surprised. His wife is definitely more my age, possibly younger.

Personally I wouldn’t have a baby at 50. We struggled at 32/35 and I felt more tired than I suspect I would have done in my 20s so did knows how tired I would be at 50.

How old are you? And how old are your dc if you have then? It might be that the pp posting have more experience than you and are better placed to comment.

It is not negative to acknowledge limitations.

That's another topic again though. I'm not actually going to say I disagree with it either. I would actually think twice about bringing children into the world now.

What I did mean is that on a personal level, there are things I bring to parenting at 50 that would enhance my parenting. However, there were other things that I think were good about having had them much younger, as far as my being a parent. Whether the world is a good place is another topic.

Not wanting to have a newborn at 50 years old doesn't equate to not enjoying parenthood, not even close. On wiikipedia, there is a table that has the names of individual women, so it's not something rather common, just a tad older.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pregnancyoverrage50

Few people are deliberately waiting til 50 to give birth, and it's not because they all hate motherhood or are secretly jealous.

This is subjective to individual circumstances I guess but I wouldn’t have another baby at 50. I was 27 & 32, even at 32 I was so much more tired & found it challenging.
Also I’m the oldest of 4 children, my brother was born when my mother was 40, she died when she was 56, it’s been a sad & difficult time for us all but to loose a parent when he’d just turned 17 was awful. Anything can happen at any age but to be a pensioner with a teenager no thank you.
I hope I live long enough to have grandchildren & my children don’t have the same experience as me & I definitely don’t want them to have caring responsibilities for me at all, let alone when at a young age.

Had one at 43 , happy miracle etc but hell no
if I could choose I would say no
not easy ,and at 50 even harder
being an older parent is tough especially to an only child .
when kids are in there late teens and twenties
they still need a mother etc
mine is 21 now and she’s done the maths !

It's not that complex. I had all my children by 30. I really did love it. That doesn't mean I want do it by choice now at 50, for reasons that have nothing to do with how much I would love and enjoy the child. It's a different stage of life. I'm am still loving being a parent, just to a different age and stage now.

For sure you do you. My comments were assessing the (many) posters who stridently declare how awful it is to have a child at 50 🤷‍♀️

@BootyfuI my point was why do women who had their children before 50 - apparently very happily - so strident against other women having babies when they’re older?

I don't agree with them and I'm surprised at the venom towards older parents. Children can do just fine with older parents and have a good life.

As with a lot of things, because they couldn't hack it, no-one else should be able to either.

@Newchapterbeckons ira not about my situation - it’s about the judgement of (some) other posters about the decision a 50 year old woman might make. I find it interesting that so many posters (not all) on this thread are so sure they know that a 50 year old woman would be making such a terrible choice.

I compare it to posts where women post in god awful situations of domestic abuse or poverty about not being sure about having a child and typically most posts say go for it if you want.

I don’t understand why age is so much worse than these other risk factors. It is not ideal obviously to lose a parent before middle age. But there are a lot of not ideal
rhinga that can happen to a child.

I wouldn’t have one now at 44 so not a chance.

I had twins at 48 and never seen my age as a problem. I was having too much fun in my 30s and just wasn't ready for children. They are 16 now and we have a great relationship. I have as much energy as someone 20 years younger and I don't understand what people mean when they say it's not fair on the child. I haven't regretted it, not even for a moment.

No! Terrible idea! But, if I were childless and had miscarriages and IVF I would probably change my mind.

I had my first and only child at 34,but I absolutely regret not having another child and had menopause at 36! loved being a mum and I feel I still have a lot to offer another child. I think love and care is valuable at any age!

The question wasn’t ’is 50 too old to have a baby?’ it was ‘would you have a baby at 50?’

You are 64 now with two 16 year olds. You still have a long stint ahead of you! Sorry to say. You will be pushing 70 by the time they finish uni. I am struggling to imagine it was easy having twin babies at 50!!

Yes if I really wanted a child and had yet to be able to have one. No if I already had child/children, I don’t think I would have the energy at that age. I did have mine young though so I am comparing the energy I had then, than to now in my mid 40s.

@Newchapterbeckons so even when someone tells you of their own experience of the specific scenario you don’t believe them?

It sounds like you found parenting difficult. Other women will have different experiences.