Would you have a baby at 50?

[pumpkinpatch6]

Off the back of the "Do you regret having a baby at 40" thread, would you have a child at 50 assuming you can provide for it emotionally and financially? Obviously medical assistance would be needed.

@Ponoka7
Yes I think that's the difference isn't it. My mum didn't do anything like what I did with my children. It wasn't the norm. They didn't need to do baby swimming, yoga, sensory class, playgroup, sing along etc etc. It was the seventies, you were thrown out to play on the street.

Plus menopause is not really something you can understand until you go through it. It does change your tolerance/desire for caring/giving. I guess that is natures way of exiting a women out of the child rearing phase.

I find this reply bizarre. At no time will the father be pregnant with huge risks or have to deliver the baby or breast feed. That is the most dangerous and high risk element. His body won’t be ravaged by the experience nor will he become incontinent. Yes it will then be exhausting for both parents, with risks of life expectancy and illness.

It’s just stupid to compare mothers and fathers (geriatric or not) as one is clearly much more onerous than the other

Is it “sick” though? And is his wife therefore sick for breeding with him?

@Tandora I did not and would not use the word sick.

@alltootired but isn’t there something about being grateful for being alive?

having a parent die when you’re say 30 is not great. But lots of things that happen in life are not great. And there are far far far worse things that can happen to you than this.

the main objections people seem to have are parents will die when younger and it will be very tiring. Both not ideal - but I don’t think either significant barriers to someone (ie the child) having a happy and fulfilling life.

If you read the pp’s post it wasn’t anything to do with pregnancy. Her reasoning for apparently finding it “sick” should apply equally to men. I doubt she would use that word for a man though, because we all know it’s really about misogyny.

then your post wasn’t relevant in response to mine. I was shocked by a pp’s declaration that it was “sick” For a woman to have a baby at 50.

No, it’s about safety.

It’s about realising there are limits to our ability to produce children safely currently.

@Newchapterbeckons my understanding is that there are some increased risks but these can be managed and pregnancy risks are not significantly higher.

I don't agree with men fathering children in their 50s. I think it's unfair on the child

it has nothing to do with “safety” 😂.

PP said it was sick because
you would be an older parent and that would put a burden on the kids at a younger age. That’s the argument that most people are using to object to women having children later in life. That and it’s tiring caring for small kids.

There are health risks associated with having children at an older age for both men and women, but these are relative, marginal and can be managed. Research also demonstrates that children with older
parents are healthier,
taller, do better at school and have fewer emotional, social and behavioural issues.

Not a bloody chance. I was 32 and 34, wouldn't have done it any later at all.

They can’t be managed otherwise scores of women would be having children at 50+ and that is simply not the case.

It’s not safe or desirable or fair on the child.

No.

Not on purpose, no. It wouldn't be fair to the child. It's a selfish decision.

@Tandora

I'm willing to bet the research you mention was done on parents older to 37-42 and not 50s.

But aside from that, children of older parents don't magically become smarter, healthier and taller (lol) by virtue of having old(er) parents.

And any benefits of having older parents plateau way before 50s I'm afraid.

Even people who have children in their 50s aren't going to bang on about it being the ideal. There really isn't any reason to do so besides ongoing fertility issues. I'm sure most would have preferred to be 10-15 years younger but life worked out differently.

See, this I don’t understand. Nothing much changes between 38 and 41.why suddenly so knackered?

I had a hell of a lot more energy at 41 (which was when I started TTC) than at 38, when I had the dead weight of my prick of a first husband to emotionally drag me down!

@Tandora it will be because it is generally well off people who have children older. It is correlation, not causation.

@alltootired i doubt @Tandora was suggesting there was a biological reason.

it will be because of more knowledge, money etc etc

the point is that these studies do not support that being older as a parent - in itself - causes harm to a child.

Yes of course it’s to do with wealth. Although not just that - stability and maturity play a role too. And that in no way changes the point; older people tend to be wealthier. That’s not an accident, it’s a function of having lived longer and having had time to progress in one’s career and build assets.

Absolutely not, but I was lucky enough to have them in my twenties. If I'd been unable to conceive and then miraculously conceived at the age of 50, I might feel differently, although I definitely think it's too old.

One thing I've noticed on this thread is people saying variations on 'if it was my/their first, yes.' I actually think (in theory, I'm not intending to!) I'd be happier about having a baby at 50 if I had children already. As someone said upthread families were more extended in the past so more family members potentially helping each other when it was common to be a 40+ mum. My Grandma's oldest sibling was around 20 when she was born, the second last of 9 or 10 kids. If someone did have a baby at 50 and lived to be 75, at least if the child had older siblings - particularly ten+ years older -I think that may be a generally a lot easier for them than if they were an only child of older parents.

But aside from that, children of older parents don't magically become smarter, healthier and taller (lol) by virtue of having old(er) parents

no certainly not by magic . lol. It’s to do with the fact that older parents tend to be wealthier, they tend to make more relaxed parents, they tend to provide more stability, be better educated, have more maturity/ life experience, etc. these are all functions of age and maturity.

Not disagreeing that age is correlated with stability, but it's not caused by it. And there's no benefit to being 50 compared to 35-40.