Would you have a baby at 50?

[pumpkinpatch6]

Off the back of the "Do you regret having a baby at 40" thread, would you have a child at 50 assuming you can provide for it emotionally and financially? Obviously medical assistance would be needed.

@SingleMum11 I have said I would and do judge the ,man many times on this thread.
I am saying because of misogyny in spite of that the child will probably be fine because the younger woman will be the one actually raising the child.

@Newchapterbeckons There are stepparents who take on as much responsibility as biological parents. How do you know the exact level of responsibility someone has just by an anonymous post?

I hate when these posts turn into mum bashing. So many people feeling smug and superior for either choosing to stay at home or get a nanny and build careers…

There is no evidence that either one has a better outcome for children so I wish people would be less judgmental.

Being a parent in any capacity is hard - how about saving the judgment for those who don’t care enough to stay at home or spend their time trying to build a good life for their families? There are plenty things that are worse…

No I wouldn't, I'm 52 and know my limits 🤣
I have 4 DC in teens and early twenties.
However there is a tredancy in society to critise women who have babies very late and yet not criticise men or even applaud them.
Obviously there's a genetic difference and pregnancy snd childbirth takes it toll on a woman's body but I think ( hope) I would try not to judge a 50 year old having a child- it's just on the very cusp of what I'd naturally biologically possible- a friends DM had her at 52- naturally!

Absolutely not and tbh I think incredibly selfish

@Snowdogsmitten
Not sure why you would think I'm lying, lots of women are successful in their own right.
I was very lucky, I lived in house share at uni and one of my housemates was obsessed with Domain names, I had a grant (back in the day they were given) a loan and worked part time. So I had spare cash.
I made a lot of money doing nothing! I didn't even have any interest in the internet (I liked to party) 😂 I just got went along for the ride.
Have a look at Facebook, plenty of people made money doing nothing.

I think the ‘it is not fair on the child’ is very suspect as an argument if you would not judge a man aged 50 on the same merit. Which it seems you would do. Misogyny definately at heart here.

Why on earth would you do that to yourself ? I am mid 50s and feel every day of it. Having my toddler Grandchild for the weekend is enough to near kill me off.

Absolutely not! I have 3 small children and I’m in my late 30s. I’m absolutely knackered and can’t imagine doing this while even older!

I didn’t say you were lying… I was just giving affirmative.

I know plenty of people who bought and sold domains, incidentally. I don’t know anyone who made anything like enough to never work though. I’d love to know what you speculated upon. It didn’t pay off for the guy who bought ‘B&Q’.

Lucky you with your fertility. 30 is the average age most people have their first.

Also, I’m ‘very successful in my own right’. Which is why I went back to work and apparently ‘hired an army of help’… so why would I doubt women’s abilities to be successful?

I’m also very successful at raising my own children. Despite what you, surprisingly, and other posters seem to believe, it’s not actually an either/or situation. Women can, gasp, work and raise children.

I think the ‘it is not fair on the child’ is very suspect as an argument if you would not judge a man aged 50 on the same merit. Which it seems you would do. Misogyny definately at heart here.

I remember having anxiety that r dad would die and he was 'only' 40 when I was born. Definitely applies to both parents.

50 is old to have a baby. It is. Good for those who dreamed of being a parent at that age but you cannot avoid it.

I would do part time work or volunteering.

From a personal p.o.v.: not a fucking chance. I'm late 30s and watching my friends have babies now, they struggle in a way I never did having mine in my mid-late 20's. My mum is early 60s, fit, travels etc, and occasionally has my DC for 24 hrs and is fucking knackered after it, even though they are well behaved easy as fuck kids and she is only doing 'luxury' time with them...no lifts and day Today running around, homework etc. Just feed them, maybe go to the cinema and do some nice things etc.

From the kid P.o.V: it would be fucking awful. it was hard enough going through the grandparent and parent failing health difficulties as a 25-38 yr old. I would never ever willingly put a kid through that, especially if they were an only child. It's sick actually. Very very selfish. I know bad things can happen to younger parents but if you had a baby at 50 you'd guarantee it for your kid. It's all kinds of wrong.

@Snowdogsmitten
No it didn't pay off, they continue to use DIy.com 😂 I'm not outing myself on mumsnet, I have no need to. I made money doing very little, I'm not ashamed or embarrassed, it was just a lucky time and place. (plus a lovely geeky friend)
I took my money and invested it in student houses...that now pays my way.

All of this!
To me this poster has said it far better than I could.
I am 40 with a 17 and 13 year old and my god their needs have ramped up over the last few years! Including long distance driving to social events (how good will your driving be approaching 70?) late nights waiting for them to come home from work or early starts getting them to work- it is constant and I never switch off.
If I had a baby at 50 (I wouldn't) I genuinely don't know where the energy would come from to maintain the lifestyle my children have now, I know I wouldn't be the mother I am now if I had another child in a decade or so.

The thing is many of the women posting here about how it is such an awful thing to do a child will have been terrible mothers who have caused all sorts of issues for their children.

lots and lots of ways to be an awful parent.

my parents had me when they were 30. They were awful parents. I’m still glad I was born.

if they had me at 50 and were great parents…. I am sure id still be glad I was born.

people also seem to forget that before contraception it was much more common to have babies at that age.

I find the psychology of the venom on this topic fascinating. I can’t understand why it enrages some women so much. Is it because they made so many personaL sacrifices int heir 20s and 30s and they’re upset another woman might have done other things in those years and then still had a baby? Is it because they feel their own life choices are being challenged? I genuinely don’t understand where it comes from.

You might be fit and healthy, but the menopause is about to hit and mid 50's with a child starting school, most women would be knackered. Throw in still having to work and it could be a nightmare. I'm my DD'S childcare and I welcome the end of the summer holidays. I have a high tolerance for noise, but many of my friends, now all 55+ struggle with the iPad/YouTube etc noise. My GC have always done independent play and aren't bad sleepers, but I still enjoy my breaks. Keeping yourself healthy doesn't guarantee good health. Illness and injury are going to linger longer as you age.

My DH is in his 50's with young children. He is very hands on. Gets tired more easily though. 🤣

"'people also seem to forget that before contraception it was much more common to have babies at that age.""

Children were raised in extended families and as long as were clothed and fed, things were fine. I can remember children as young as three playing out with us in the 70's. Parenting has never been as involved as today. Each to their own, but we have been asked for our opinion and many of us replying are over 50 and doing childcare for our GC, so know we wouldn't want a baby/toddler full time.

Oh god no. I had one at 41 and I don't have energy the same way I had until late 30s to do this again.

God no.
My friend had her second set of twins though at 47. Her DH was 50.
Her first set were 17!

It's sick actually
😱 good lord.

Do you say this when men have babies at 50, which they do ALL THE TIME. Is George Cloony (and his wife) sick for conceiving when he was 56?

@Hmmmmaybe not enraged at all. But I got the same kind of response when I said children deserved to know who the sperm donor was that created their life. I got told I was being ridiculous and children do not need to know this. Then teh children grew up and lobbied successfully for a change in the law.

On any thread on MN here where people who have older parents are invited to comment, most say it is a bad idea. But on threads like this one it is what mothers want that comes first, not the children. The children apparently should just be grateful to be born.

@Tandora yes George Clooney is in the wrong.