Would you have a baby at 50?

[pumpkinpatch6]

Off the back of the "Do you regret having a baby at 40" thread, would you have a child at 50 assuming you can provide for it emotionally and financially? Obviously medical assistance would be needed.

@Codlingmoths so your husband did take your DC on play dates. You were insisting this did not have to be part of parenting before.
If course the mum does not have to do it, your child has two parents. But someone has to do it.

Really interesting if you read the story.

ONS statistician Nick Stripe said London had lowest under-18 birth rate but the highest birth rate for women aged 45 and over.
"In contrast, the north-east of England has the highest under-18 birth rate but the lowest birth rate for women aged 45 and over," he said.
"Social, economic and cultural differences between these areas are likely to be causing these differences."

I expect comments on here are coloured by that geographical/attitude difference as well. I would think higher costs of housing/childcare in London would be a factor.

Just popped back and nice to see the sanity level rising!

@alltootired huh? I’m pretty sure that is my second comment on this thread and my first comment was two letters - NO. I think you have me confused with someone else.

However you opt to parent I wouldn’t want to be doing any of it at 50!

Christ, no! I'm 45, I have 17 month old DGD one day a week whilst DSD is at work. I'm bloody knackered afterwards and I usually have help as DH or one of my dds is home.

Its biologically almost impossible so why is it a question as if people have a choice?

Ok you can use someone's egg or embryo but it's not exactly straightforward.

I would if I was very wealthy and had the money to pay someone to do all of the other boring and tiring things so I could just sit around and enjoy baby cuddles while somebody else cleaned my house, did the night feeds etc.

As it happens, I'm not very wealthy so I wouldn't.

I wouldn't say so.

No, unless I had fertility problems and finally became pregnant.

Having children at 18 is obviously often not ideal, but it is totally different to having them at 50 once you have had years of life experience and understand everything that is entailed in raising a human, and what they are likely to need from you for the next 20-30 years. Yet still making that decision, having considered all of this, even having fertility treatment to bring a child into the world very deliberately, knowing that they will have an old parent.

I don't judge (I've had IVF myself and fully understand the pain) - but it is obviously much, much more selfish to have a planned IVF child at 50, than for an 18 year old finding herself pregnant with nowhere near the same life experience.

Bearing in mind how long it could take, then the pregnancy/birth/poss recovering from a C section. You are talking about going in to your early 50's. So half way through with a toddler erm no.
You do get some who are in really good shape and no health issues etc, so then you could think why not. Because then it would be more focusing on the woman's age, the child's age at different stages.
Rather than some of the usual things to be thought about.

I know of a lady from school who is 50 odd and a year or two ago was saying she would have another if she had the right man etc 🤦‍♀️ I was thinking are you crazy lol, when you struggle as it is 🤷🏻‍♀️

No I wouldn't.
I don't think anyone having a child at that age is actually thinking of the child .Not a great start to the parenting journey 🤷‍♀️

Absolutely not. I struggle with a 14 year old daughter at the age of 52 never mind in my 60s.

I also think that by the time they’re 15 and your 65, you’d be so out of touch and naive to the lives of teenagers (including the dangers).

If my 64 year old mum was in charge of protecting my 15 year old niece from the dangers of social media for example- it would be a disaster…

The extra care not provided by parents is just 'it takes a village' although I suppose they don't get different world views or anything from childminders etc. Can't see why it's such a bad thing, much better than the age thing.

Flipping it around to older Dads, which has always been more socially acceptable, that can be rough on the children too and a cause of anxiety (will they get ill, etc.).

This is completely incorrect. Not single figures at all. Many more than 9 children were born to parents 50 and over last year. What an odd thing to say!! Where are you getting your data?

By parents, you include fathers? Nobody is surprised by older fathers as it's biologically the norm.

Older mothers 50+ without fertility intervention are going to be very rare. Don't doubt PP that that is single figures.

No! Never mind the being a parent what about the child who will likely lose their parent at a younger age or have to care for them.

This. Horrible double standards. Yes the pregnancy and birth etc but that’s not mostly what ppl are objecting to.

No, but then I had 2 healthy kids in my 30s so really can’t judge how I would feel if I was Childless at 50 despite trying for them.
I think, still no.

You can adequately provide for a child financially without requiring an army of Nannies et al. You said you/others should go ahead with a baby after 50 without checking your privilege and own life experience. You haven’t even reached early adulthood or life stage with one child yet, so I am wondering how you would even know how it feels?

I hope you are damn well more self aware in RL than you are on here, because surely that it is a pre requisite for your role. I work in a similar field, and I find my work very humbling. Money though does not and never will equal good parenting. Some of the best parents I have ever met were those without huge amounts of resources and support.

I certainly do not slap old men on the back having babies. They are too old. But at least it is the young woman who is often the mother who will be doing most of the actual childcare.

A 50 year old man having a baby with a young woman would raise eyebrows. But there's one younger parent.

So, it's not going to be the same as two 50 year olds TTC which feels much older.

Either way, it's a choice made. If anyone wants to do that, crack on and don't worry about what other people think of you. You're a mature adult who made that choice.

I honestly don't understand why anyone wouldn't use 'hired help' if they can find it and can afford it.