Would you have a baby at 50?

[pumpkinpatch6]

Off the back of the "Do you regret having a baby at 40" thread, would you have a child at 50 assuming you can provide for it emotionally and financially? Obviously medical assistance would be needed.

No Way . Nope.

I had my last child (unplanned but certainly loved) at 39.
Felt old as it was when they began school.
Cannot imagine going through all that at 55 plus

@alltootired I didn't just "talk to him and play with him", I breastfed him until he was 3.5 and co-slept with him until he was 5, and as he grew older developed a very close relationship with him, as I have with my stepdaughters to this day. I was just pointing out that baking, running around a park and playgroups are not essential elements of parenting. DH doesn't play ball games or "playfight" or run about with him, as seems to be some form of expected behaviour for dads. He does talk to him about everything under the sun and teach him how to do things he himself can do, like carpentry. There are different ways to parent.

I also think that those I've met who did have children later are very young at heart and seem much younger. Keep thinking it's because having kids keeps you active/young.

Depends on the individual. I know older people with children/grandchildren who are entirely wrapped up in their family bubble and utterly incurious about anything outside it, and people without who are still full of enthusiasm for learning and experiencing new things.

@emilysquest so who played games with him? Or took him to the playground? Or on play dates? Or did he not get to do any of this stuff?

If you weren’t at home with them, then you didn’t raise them?!
Someone else did.
That really isn’t the same as being with them day in , day out.

I am going to have stop reading as this thread is a right downer! seriously though, it is concerning how many people seem to feel so old at relatively young ages!
I recently saw a piece about a lovely foster mum who has fostered for years but said now she has hit mid fifties, she has to give up fostering babies and just look after older children as she is finding that she is too tired for night feeds and sleepless nights anymore at that point. I wonder if that is evolutionary, as that is generally going to be the natural the endpoint for a woman having pre-school age children.
Anyone who has GP's who say they wish they were younger and could be more hands on, I'd take it with a pinch of salt. My IL's were young parents and always gave me and DH the impression that they didn't get the opportunity to look after their older GC's and would have loved to, particularly MIL. Roll on us having kids and they've never taken either of our two out alone even for a pram walk. They babysit once or twice a year-and then only for a couple of hours-despite us living within 3 miles 😂

Yes, absolutely, if I could fall pregnant/carry to term.

I am equally drawn to "Yes I absolutely would" and "Absolutely not".

I had my DC young, I'm 30 now and when I'm 50 they will all be in their mid to late 20's. I can fully imagine wanting to have one more baby. It would definitely only be the one though.

On the other hand, right now me and DP are in the thick of parenting, we don't have childcare options so we never get to do anything together that doesn't involve the kids. As much as I love family life, I do spend plenty of time dreaming and planning of our future where we are less needed by the kids and can start living life together again.

My dad had me at 58; he lived until 84 despite poor health and obviously because he was so old when he had me, even though he lived to a reasonable age I was only in my 20's when I lost him. Despite this, I think even though I was young, I have processed his passing well as he didn't die prematurely or unexpectedly.

I think if I was in very good health and the world wasn't in tatters, having a baby at 45 would be quite nice. That's 15 years from now and my youngest will be 19.

You've definitely got me thinking with this one, OP!

Nope

@chiwowowa I don't feel too old to travel, go out late, hike, swim and excel in my career, all of which I am doing. I do feel too old for sleepless nights, teenage drama and any more nurturing. Why is that such a downer?

I don’t understand posters who seem to hit 35 and find everything so exhausting. I always see posts like that in the ‘too young/too old to have a baby’ threads.

Parenting is a bit rough whatever age you are, but if you’re dead on your feet at 35-40, I think you should probably address your lifestyle or get some bloods worked up.

That's excellent to hear!

@alltootired nannies, tutors, babysitters, his sisters

No idea why people are being so judgemental of your posts, you sound like a lovely mum.

My mum worked full time and she still very much raised me along side my dad. What dickish comments.

My Aunty had her last child age 52 ( she thought it was the menopause) but this was 50 years ago .. he was her 7th.
Personally l wouldn't . I became a Gran age 46.

@oakleaffy so to be an adequate parent you have to be with your child "day in day out"? I imagine there are quite a number of people who would divulge from that view (including those who cannot do so out of necessity, not choice, this is doing them a great disservice).

If it was my only chance to have a baby (currently 35 and don't have any) - then yes, absolutely.

If I wanted a second child- possibly.

If I already had two or more children then no, definitely not.

No but easy for me to say as I have two DC!

The answer is, this is mumsnet. If you don't spend every living minute with your DC you're a BAAAAAAADDDDD mum 😂

@alltootired You don't have to explain anything to anyone!

I think as someone said up-thread that for those who are voluntarily childless and would really do anything to be a Mum this is a very different question than for those who are 40 with two teenagers and come at it from a 'I feel old enough already, are you kidding me?' perspective.

I wouldn't but I look at my parents who are mid to late 60's and I think they'd have been easily able to parent my (so far) easy going, healthy dd (13). They're still fit and active, no health issues, travel a lot and volunteer. They do school pick ups and childcare for my siblings dc.

typo sorry! Diverge not divulge from that view!

No. I am late 50s with a ND 15 year old and I am finding it really difficult. I love her very much of course but if I could turn the clock I would do things very differently.

Nope, we should have finished paying for school by then and children should be working/at Uni, we plan on being footloose and fancy free.

I feel sorry for your son. You didn’t take him to play groups or do any of the fun stuff, he was an only child to quite elderly parents - I think you could have put yourself out tbh, and his father didn’t enjoy ball games etc so really not any better.

It sounds really miserable for him, just stuck with people paid to look after him, not because they wanted to or loved him. It’s all about what suits you and your choices, and not about him at all. If you are an example of parenting in older age I don’t think you are a good advocate.

How did you breast feed him at nearly 4y if you were climbing the career ladder simultaneously?!