Would you have a baby at 50?

[pumpkinpatch6]

Off the back of the "Do you regret having a baby at 40" thread, would you have a child at 50 assuming you can provide for it emotionally and financially? Obviously medical assistance would be needed.

Was hard enough at 29 and 31, the pregnancy and the baby/young kids. Can't imagine doing it at 50!

No, not personally, although I did have my children late.
However, why are there endless threads on older mothers with people frothing about it "not being fair" when there are never any asking is it appropriate to have a child if you have mental health problems, or are physically disabled or with a chronic illness, or are living in poverty or extremely obese - all of which can either negatively impact childhoods or shorten parental lifespan. Somehow it seems to be only older parents that make a child's life not worth living.

@QueenOfMOHO I am in my fifties. Where is this more energy you speak of?

@QueenOfMOHO very true what you say about energy levels not being just related to age! The many years I spent as a junior hospital doctor (which was before the European Working Time Directive came in!) were way way more "knackering" than having a senior consultant job plus a young child!

Dsis had a baby at 50, went into full menopause a couple of years later and nobody is having a fun time. Its actually pretty grim. She says why did nobody tell me how awful the menopause is? I said I've been telling you for the last 10 years.

very high risk of miscarriage and downs syndrome if could conceive at all. I wouldn't want donor eggs as I think I would have trouble bonding. I also would struggle with the injections and hormones for IVF from frozen eggs.
If none of the above existed I wouldn't be against it on age alone (earnings compromise and global overpopulation would be an issue). Life is abit quiet as an empty nester.

No. Had my first grandchild when I was 50.

I think all of the too tired, too knackered comment (my own included) are not about it being physically too demanding, more about the fact that doing it really well, is fucking exhausting.
I would go to the park everyday, lots of baking, cooking, playdates, stimulating activities, playgroups, bathing everyday, cleaning teeth, weaning, nappies, toilet training etc etc. Then school, homework, reading etc.

Now I'm 50, I don't want all of those constant demands. Menapause hit and I'm too tired for constant caring. Grandchildren would be different, just a manageable slice of that.

A baby at 50 is fine, but they get older as do you. A 10 year old at 60? A 16 year old at 66? Is that really fair?

Rich parents can have children older because they will have paid nannies doing the hard work of actually raising children.

Personally no. I had mine at 44. But others may do as they wish.

Nature happens for a reason. That's why we have a menopause. Can you imagine a world where women keep on giving birth again and again till god knows what age? Who would look after all these children who's mother's have died when the kids are still dependent, not even adding on the much higher risk of disabilities?
There are enough struggling children in the world, why add to it?

Please can someone link the ‘Do you regret having a baby at 40’ thread 🙏I can’t find it

Sounds very tough. I too was fine at 50. A few years later life became much harder with menopause.

No, I don't believe assisted conception should be allowed past 40 myself

I find it curious that as a medical consultant you haven’t acknowledged the biological effects and implications. Nor the risks associated with the pregnancy, to the child etc.

I am incredulous that the view continues to remain what the mother wants the mother gets, and her wishes are the priority over all else, rather than the impact to the child, growing up with elderly parents, often alone in carrying that burden, the natural decline in health and the responsibilities placed on them at often a very young age.

I have known multiple friends to die in their mid fifties, it’s not uncommon. Losing a parent is devastating. So I am not at all on board that women ‘deserve’ to have a child at all costs.

And how are you going to achieve that? Have a stiff word with Mother Nature?

Also talking about grandparents raising children is missing the point. A colleague is a grandparent raising her daughters child. She makes a good job of it. But nobody thinks it is ideal for grandparents to raise their grandchildren because their parents can not. It is making the best of a bad situation.

No, definitely not.

Honestly - I don’t think it’s very fair on the child.

@bobomomo Why?

Does Mother Nature do assisted conception now?

@dorry678 The OP specifically said about asked the question in the context of being emotionally and financially fine. Because of my career I did not in fact do any baking, playdates, going to the park, playgroups etc. DH and nannies/tutors did that between them (and no, I do not have any problems in the relationship with my son, we are very close). But tbh even if I had not been in the middle of climbing the career ladder when he was young, I am not the type of person to go to playgroups or bake cookies, it's just not me. That is not the only way to parent! (and this sort of thing is not expected of men in general!)

Did you miss the word “assisted” in bobomomo’s post?

Hell no! I just had my 3rd 2 years ago, I am 37 now. It was and is a lot more tiring than my 1st DCs who I had late 20s/30. My friends have had babies at 40 and seem happy content and baby fit in great. My mum became a nanny at 48 and I cannot imagine having a baby at that age, she loves the kids but she wants her own time now, especially as my sister has Autism so my mum spent 25 years as her carer. A baby is a challenge at any age throw in a severe disability at 50 it is incredibly difficult.

@emilysquest You are right that a 50 year old woman could have a baby and have nannies raise the child. This is what a lot of older celebrity mothers will do anyway.

I am incredulous that the view continues to remain what the mother wants the mother gets, and her wishes are the priority over all else, rather than the impact to the child, growing up with elderly parents, often alone in carrying that burden, the natural decline in health and the responsibilities placed on them at often a very young age.

This is spades.
This is not ageism.
This is about reality.