People ending their lives?

[girlfriend44]

Are more and more people giving up on life? Heard another suicide today and its going to be debated in Parliament tomorrow?

Is it because mental health services are poor, have they always been poor?
Is life just getting harder for people?
Or has it always been hard?

I can remember when suicide was rare now you hear it so much sadly.

It's not really going up.

Source: https://commonslibrary.parliament.uk/research-briefings/cbp-7749/

There has been a bit of an uplift in recent years, possibly due to covid + CoL. But it's nowhere near what it was 40 years ago.

I can remember when suicide was rare now you hear it so much sadly.

I suspect that's because it was so unacceptable, both culturally and religiously.

I think it’s just talked about more now. In my professional experience what I will say is really, sometimes all the interventions in the world happen, sometimes people have all the family support, all the hope and services they need. And it’s still not enough. Many many people have no services at all, because they never seek help in advance and they aren’t known to any services at the time of their death. Often families have no idea.

So whilst I do believe that mental health Supoort services are severely lacking, they aren’t to blame. Suicide is a personal choice at the end of the day ( sometimes driven by a feeling of worthlessness , sometimes impulsive. ) Everyone ia different, but sometimes all the help in the world still isn’t enough.

My life limit is 75. I will see how am doing then, then decide how I will proceed. I refuse to rot with my choices taken from me in a carehome etc,

Can mumsnet put a trigger warning on this - some people may find it upsetting.

I've had two relatives end their lives (two different sides of the family) One 10 years ago. One 5 years ago. Both felt their immediate families would be better off without them. Obviously they weren't, apart from financially.
Without going into details, both of them did it in a horrific way that severely impacted other people unknown to them (who would have probably needed counselling) and onlookers. Which, to me is the part I find almost unforgivable.
I don't know if it's more common now or there's just more awareness. It's heartbreaking for the people left behind.

What’s going to be debated in Parliament?
There is a big difference between suicide and ending your life because you are terminally ill and in pain.

I would guess that the reason you didn’t hear about it as much previously is that it was viewed by the mainstream as a shameful or taboo way to die, so it either was not widely reported or not cited as cause of death.

Having gone through a loved one’s suicide, I can also say that it is quite reductive to phrase it as just “giving up on life”. It’s a complex and devastating issue for anyone who is touched by it.

Life has always been hard for some hasn’t it? When my nan was widowed she had no financial assistance, no child benefit, nothing she had three children and two jobs- working in a hospital during the day and a cinema usherette at night. She had to walk 6 miles each way between the two places of work. I can’t see anyone doing that these days.
Did that generation just get on with it? They certainly seemed tougher than today. They lived through war, rationing, etc.

That said, mental health services are poor, I’ve read on here that if you tell your G.P you feel suicidal they just signpost you on (no idea if this is true, and I’d never want to find out).

I don’t think social media helps, constant comparison, constant want, doom scrolling, people don’t talk anymore, it’s hard to meet a partner (or a nice one, going by what you read on here). Everyone seems exhausted, tired, unfulfilled, always looking for the next best thing.
There are more of us, it’s easier to access the news, read the horrible stories, immerse yourself in horror stories.

Name changed for this.

I have a reasonably comfortable life. However I think I have ADHD and possibly an element of aspergers/autism. I have three major stresses going on at the moment in addition to losing my Mum in recent years.

I find myself in a dark place regularly- usually starting in vivid dreams, linked to real life, when asleep and I wake feeling "black". I generally dig myself out of it by keeping myself safe for 15 minutes and I adjust to a grey sort of stressed norm.

It's given me an insight though. At least into my way of thinking. And how digging oneself out must be dreadfully difficult with more stresses, or poverty.

I recall once being told by a chemistry teacher friend of mine that the level and amount of work I did, along with raising a family, and keeping a million balls in the air would not do me any good in the long run. Cortisol I think she was referring too. I've often wondered if it's that biting me now..she's sadly no longer with us to ask.

It gets talked about and reported more.
And with social media, if someone has taken their life in a public place, it is often talked about before the press reports.

Most of the deaths in my own circles have been suicide, but then most of my friends have MH issues as we met in hospital/therapy/groups.

I do agree with a PP that even with (or without) intervention, if someone is determined enough, they will do it... and it is ultimately their decision. One of the nicest guys I ever knew and worked with, took his own life. No one had any idea of his intentions. There were no signs at all. He was no under any MH services. He just vanished one day and ended it.

Probably not a popular view, but I think MH services are only accountable if someone dies whilst in their care... and by that I mean inpatient. Suicides in hospitals should never be allowed to happen.

I think as PP’s are saying, it’s just talked about more, especially with famous people. It used to be ‘died after a short illness’ or ‘died suddenly’ in the obituary. The stigma has decreased and so it is talked about more.

@Darkplace100 It's never the answer. I've seen the impact it has on families and its devastating. They don't get to grieve like others do. Their loved ones name is almost taboo after a while. It's not like a normal death. They are remembered differently. It's sad, but true.
Get some support. Go and see your GP and get the ball rolling. Don't wait. You only get one life, there is so much to live for.

FFS what more warning can you need. The title says it all

@XenoBitch I agree that suicide in hospital should never happen. Hospital is there to keep people safe. However I cut a ligature 6 times off someone on Saturday. I pick batteries off the floor and look for hidden razors. Honestly, MH staff are trying their very very best.

Why do you always get one idiot asking this like it isn’t blatantly clear from the title

This thread needs a TW

Absolutely. It was not a dig at the staff, and apologies if you read it as such.

My own personal experience is that inpatient care means you get stopped. In the community, I have been told it is my choice.

Thank you for the work you do.

No it doesn't. The title says it all. If someone is triggered by clicking on it and reading the posts, then that is on them.

I think the title is quite self explanatory.

Google tells me there’s a debate as suicides been rising since 2008 and reached a record high last year in England and wales. So yes, the rates are worse

They presumably weren’t in their right minds though? - re your comment about it being unforgivable?

We’ve had a few in my family, and I do agree that all that happens is the pain gets transferred to those left behind. I’m just not sure the person concerned is usually able to see it like that.

The rates have come down a lot in recent decades though OP, although less for men
https://commonslibrary.parliament.uk/research-briefings/cbp-7749/

The title says what the thread is about so maybe people that are triggered would avoid it

It’s in the title - it’s very clear

Trigger Warning 🙄