To think it's odd my husband didn't eat the roast meat because my dad had touched it

[LaviniaLee]

Just before Christmas, my husband and I went to visit my family for the weekend, for an early-christmas celebration. My sister did a big roast for us (for my parents, siblings & families).

The meat was a lovely roast lamb. My dad was helping by carving the meat. He put his hand on the skin of the joint and carved. So he had touched the edges of the meat.

My husband loves meat but he didn't take any of it. When I asked him later, he said it was because he didn't think my dad had clean hands, because he once heard him (at a different time) flush the loo and come out quickly, and he suspected that he hadn't washed his hands. So now his general assumption is that my dad doesn't have clean hands.

AIBU to think it's odd that my husband didn't eat the meat for this reason? (given he normally loves it).

That's daft.

I think this is really the only point here. It was a mucky and off-putting way of serving meat to guests, so hardly surprising that some might refuse it.

This being Mumsnet though it's being turned into an improbable culture war between two hostile factions each accusing the other of being nutjobs. 😂

YANBU. Though the meat cannot have been hot if FiL touched with his hand. But if I serve meat I touch it sometimes. My hands will be clean but honestly what germs are you picking up off a hot piece of meat? I think your DH is daft. If it was double dipping in the mayo that would be different, but touching the edge of the meat? No.

It does sound as if your husband has an issue around germs if he's sanitising so much- doing it multiple times during a meal is odd and unnecessary. Whether this is indicative of deeper problems is really something for the husband and OP- people have a range of approaches to hygiene.

Personally I wouldn't have a problem if someone touched my food with clean hands. If it had been spelled out to me that the person touching my food had been to the loo and not washed, I'd find that grim but frankly it's not something I would notice. I think keeping track of other people's washing habits is also pretty odd.

FWIW I used to work in a pub and part of my job was to clean the pub before my shift started. The soap in the women's loos needed changing at least once a week. The soap in the men's loos needed changing about twice a year 😵

Thanks all. The comments have helped my to understand my DH's position a bit more.

I guess we all have different things we don't like and are sensitive about. However, I think my DH could have taken the meat and cut off the sides.

I have grown up with my dad touching food I eat, and I have not got stomach bugs from eating food at home. Nor have my siblings! When I've got bugs, it's usually been from eating food abroad.

But I do find his constant hand sanitising odd. I've seen him so it even when he's not eating. For example, after getting into a taxi (I guess because he's touched the taxi door handles, which others have touched).

OP - seriously - you must understand this for what it is - this is OCD and it needs treating to avoid further escalation.

Willy-fingers 😂😂

But he used to sanitise a lot for years before COVID. I think he's been doing it at the same level for years.

See that’s it you grew up with your dad touching your food. He grew up not with your dad. Possibly with nobodies hand touching the meat.

We are all more eugh whatever with our own parents way of things a lot of the time because it’s how they raised us and hey we are here and alive anit we. But that doesn’t mean it’s the right way either.

My parents and my in-laws use utensils for meat chopping no bare hands. As do I and Dh.

If I went to someone’s house penis holding aside I’d see side eye someone fondling my meat tbh.

Surely lots of people touch roast meat when they carve and serve it?

Umm no! That's what carving forks are for!

And cafe people will be trained in hygiene and often wear disposable gloves.

I can see why he was put off. I have to say if I was hungry I would have cut the edges off though and eaten the middle. Lamb is delicious.

Frankly, whenever I see male chefs/cooks on TV fiddling endlessly with a plate of food, I always think that I wouldn't want to eat it. Getting food out of a pan, putting it on the plate in a skilled, professional manner so it looks good: fine. Slow, obsessive, repetitive fiddling: no, just stop it & serve the flaming meal.

Yabu

you think your dad doesn’t always wash his hands after the toilet ,, then handles someone else’s food, but you think dh is BU for not wanting to eat it! Blimey you have low standards.

I won't eat any food my MIL has touched either because she doesn't have good hygiene so I'm with your DH on this.

At least you know what to buy your dad for next Christmas
A nice big carving fork

I'd have taken it, cut off the edge & made sure that my action was noticed.

This is quite interesting!

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/aug/01/the-microbiologist-who-didnt-wash-his-hands-after-urinating

Why was your husband monitoring your Dad's loo habits in the first place? Is the loo in the kitchen or what? Did anyone else notice or care about this?

I'd be sending DH to counselling for germ phobia or whatever the buzz word du jour is now for this type of thing. He is obviously a MN fan. 😂

I sanitise my hands going in and out of taxis and public transport as well. I don't find that weird at all. Buses etc are dirty as fuck, and I have no idea how many people have been in that taxi. I'm still with DH on this.

I wouldn’t have eaten meat touched by someone who doesn’t wash his hands after possibly wiping his bum or at least holding his todger for a pee.

No wonder so many are getting colds, covid, rsv and the like. NO IMMUNITY, and far too clean obsessed. A bit of exposure to germs is good for us.

There's a happy medium between being a germaphobe and not washing your hands after going to the toilet then preparing food at the other extreme.

This is now in The Mirror online.
It popped up as I was scrolling through news articles.

I wouldn’t eat it either. Also not sure why anyone would touch the meat while carving. Even if you don’t have the right tools use a fork to hold it in place not your hand!

It's not just the unwashed hands... its the direct hands on the meat, not even using utensils...

I'm with DH, so I know someone hasn't washed their hands prior to cutting the meat, they didn't wash their hands after going to the toilet, then they out direct hands onto the meat to cut it. Yep, matey as well just go suck your dear old dads piss soaked fingers...

Next time,
DH could jump in offer to cut the meat "to help"
Suggest a hand wash before touching the food
suggest utensils so dad doesn't burn his hands...

A normal amount of germs is one thing... Getting e.coli food poisoning because someone touched food with dirty hands is another very different thing.