AIBU to be upset - comment at Ru Paul’s Drag Con …

[13umpuu]

Before anyone has a moan about drag in general, please don’t, the post isn’t about that…

I’m a fan of Ru Paul’s drag race UK. I love seeing all the effort that goes into the make-up looks and I admire the creativity of the outfits. I also enjoy the behind the scenes footage of the contestants as they make friends and share their experiences.

DP got tickets to Drag Con for Xmas - an event which is a combination of shows, catwalks and meet/greet. I hadn’t asked to go and I was a bit reluctant. I’m fairly shy.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, we went and it was fun. As we were leaving I spoke to one of the performers and gushingly said how amazing I thought their dance routine/song had been (the only person I’d spoken to during the event except DP)… they really are incredibly talented. Their reply seemed very heartfelt and was something like… ‘oh that’s so sweet of you, thank you’, followed by an air kiss/hug… then they said ‘get your hair done’, as if under their breath but really very much out loud, to a group of people nearby who’d seen us speak and clearly knew the comment was about me. It was greeted with much laughter.

I felt (and still feel) so upset. Partly because it was a bit of a shock but partly because I know it’s true. I’m relatively pretty but I’m just a mum, wasn’t wearing jeans/anything really scruffy and I’m not particularly polished (and my hair probably could do with being done!).

I turned away so nobody could see and promptly burst into tears. Now I can’t stop thinking about it and feel so upset.

YABU - why be upset - it’s just a stranger making some throw away remarks to have a laugh, brush it off, it’s funny (and you’ve just said it’s true!)

YANBU - I’d be upset too

@Boomboom22 No they fucking do not. No more than women hate other women, or no more than you hate men in dresses

I honestly don’t really understand the attraction of drag. It’s men dressing as such an over exaggerated way as women, that it becomes an utter mockery of us. It’s like if women dressed up in hirsute suits, dragging our knuckles, scratching our bollocks, burping and farting,

im not sure i buy the ops understanding that she thought they were kind, ive never watched a whole show, more clicked on for a few mins and straight off again, and even i know thats not what its about.

Has anyone here actually spoken to a drag artist?
You are such bloody 'experts', yet have no feckin idea

You went to an event that is focused on appearances - that's a big part of how the performers are judged. You've mentioned enjoying the outfits and make-up yourself. It isn't therefore out of character for one of the performers to make a shallow comment about your hair. I'm sure it looked perfectly OK but drag performers live in a world of OTT wigs, extensions and so on. I don't think you should take the comment personally.

Drag queens are absolute man twats

I love Drag as an art form but they were being a bitch. The joke is meant to be with you not on you. Don’t let it ruin your day if you had a nice time otherwise!

Also MN hate Drag so your just going to get lectured now about how you somehow assisted in eroding women’s rights or some crap.
I would peace out of this thread if I were you! I certainly am.

We don't need to speak to drag 'artists' to know their hateful misogyny is wrong, same as we don't need to speak to black ministrel 'artists' to know their hateful racism is wrong.

It's part of the persona - the same way as, if you go to Disney, the ppl playing the characters remain in character at all times.

I really dislike drag for myriad reasons, but that sort of comment is part of the act and to be expected - and NOT to be taken seriously. Don't give it another thought.

Drag is not misogynistic for christ's sake

Except, yes it is. Very much so.

You should have hit back with “Nice wig!” With a big smile, but I know it’s easy to say in hindsight.

These men are imitating woman! He’s only jealous because you’re the real deal.

I mean seriously, you think stage names like Anna Bortion, Miss Carriage, Malestia Child, are not misogynistic?

You think the term ‘fish’ for feminine DQs that supposedly ‘pass’ isn’t misogynistic…?

The critical thinking is weak in this one…..

Drag Queens do not like women.

Context helps. By "sort out your hair" did he mean get a bad wig?
People who suffer with histrionic personality disorder are only about the optics.

Totally. They're either a drag queen themselves, have some invested interest in it, a male, or if female suffering from internalised misogyny.

Those particular stage names yes, but going by this list the vast majority of drag queen stage names are not.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_drag_queens

Bitchiness and sexual insults is very much part of drag acts, always has been. Crikey, some of the door "girls" at Madame Jos Jos back in the day were absolute horrors.

I am not sure when it got rebranded as family friendly entertainment for normies.

No, I am not
You have perception problems
Shall we continue to trade insults all day?

So?

It’s still incredibly misogynistic.

Do people not realise what ‘fish’ is referring to, or something….?

Perception problems? Mocking womens looks, calling them 'fishy' and 'bitches'? No one buys what you're saying. If anyone has perception problems, it's you. Not me. One wonders why you are so desperate to deny what it is. What is your interest, exactly?

I assume this kind of behaviour goes with the territory. Personally I find the whole thing repellent. But surely OP if you like that sort of thing, you have to accept that kind of remark. Being indignant is a bit like going on a log flume at a theme park and being annoying that you got splashed.

…not a misogynist parody of womanhood? I wonder why people believe that?
(from Drag queen Canada)

https://x.com/theposieparker/status/1692062778192752820?s=46&t=KoykWa-IFitZMrteWP2pKA

Or perhaps, PERHAPS, some women just have different opinions to you?